Until The Love Songs Kill My Soul

I'm So In Love

I’m a hopeless romantic. Most love songs speak my story. Most of them were specifically written for me. Their soothing words and melody bring heaven beneath my feet. With love songs, I cannot only hear but see, smell, taste, and feel love.

As a kid, I believed in fairy tales. Growing up as a teenager, I wished that my crush is my soulmate. When my crush became my boyfriend, I hoped that he is "the one". When we tied the knot, I prayed for forever. Twenty years after, I can say that “forever” is real.

I and my husband vowed to love each other forever, as long as we live. And we are living the vow. Waking up means adding more to our love bucket. Every smile and every quarrel makes our love stronger. I am one lucky girl, when God sprinkled the love dust, I was all awake.

Love for me is always in the air. We don’t celebrate Valentine's Day as we are lucky to have it every day. Hence, if some anti-Valentine's mafia takes away from me just one day, you will see my world crumble like broken glasses on the floor.

What if?

Vocal asked me a very hard question: what is your Anti-Valentine's playlist? I closed my eyes and imagined, what if my fairytale life turned to bouts of infidelity then divorce?

What I'll Do

What I’ll do is to embrace the pain. I will cry until my eyes get dehydrated. I’ll listen to our songs of love every minute. I’ll listen to the songs all day and night. I’ll listen every day, any day, and all the days until it the lyrics will make me run to vomit.

I’ll listen to our well-loved songs until those very songs would kill my soul. I will rejoice in its murder. I will send a bunch of red roses to match its red velvet bloody smears. Goodbye to the hopeless romantic.

On the soul's death, a new soul will rise. Bolder, braver, and with the best girl power. I'll stand up. I’ll sing my heart out and I’ll dance.

The New Soul

And these will be the initial playlist of the new me:

1. Sing (Sing a song) by Perry Como

"Sing out loud, sing out strong. Sing of good things, not bad. Sing of happy, not sad"

2. Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da

"Ob-la-di, ob-la-da. Life goes on, bra. La-la, how the life goes on"

Performed by Compass Band

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3. Chili Cha Cha

"Dance so feel your body hot you got another shot . Feel your body shake your body hot"

Performed by Petre Geambasu Show Band

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4. Footloose

"I'll hit the ceiling . Or else I'll tear up this town"

5. Mambo No. 5

One, two, three, four, five . Everybody in the car, so come on, let's ride

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To all the singles out there

You can be happy just as you are. Love yourself. A Relationship does not make you. You are you. You are whole and you are complete. Dance your heart out. Squeeze your energy. Love comes when it's meant to be. Que sera sera!

Final Words

It's Valentine's Day when I have written this. I had a blast with the love of my life. My fairy tale will have its fairy tale endings. Not now, not soon. But only death can tear us apart.

Why did I take up this Anti-Valentine's playlist challenge? For you to know the point of view of someone who is so much in love. For you to know the thoughts of someone who does not celebrate Valentine's on February 14 but every day of her life.

But friend, if you don't have the love of your life, let me tell you that we still have something in common. You and I, we both love ourselves. I have loved myself before I even loved someone else. Remember, you cannot give love if you won't love yourself first.