The Various Moods of Valentine's

To Valentine or not to Valentine, that is the question.

This day's playlist is a delicate one. For some, Valentine's brings up golden memories of glitzy gifts and gorgeous getaways, for others it's a reminder that they haven't gotten flowers since that time in high school when a plastic rose cost less than lunch. In such polarising times as these music comes to the rescue.

Are you a ‘crazy for feelin’ so lonely’ crooner that wants the sad and mellow tunes to go down as easily as that second bottle of merlot? Maybe yelling ‘get out, right now’ is the cathartic release you need to forget that time your partner got you a spoon. Perhaps you reject the flimsy wrappings of capitalist culture in which case WAP WAP WAP your way through the day, girlfriend.

Whatever you think about Valentine's Day, the pressure it puts on the adoringly attached and single pringles alike is pretty intense. The perfect gift, the painstakingly crafted schedule and that's not even starting on the outfits (yes, outfits plural). We're now under pressure to buy ourselves gifts if there isn't a significant other readily available. Add a sprinkling of pandemic in to this already volatile mix and suddenly it all seems like too much, doesn't it?

Maybe this year instead of faffing over the gifts or the subtext or the price, we all took a step back and showed ourselves some gratitude and love, no purchase required. Or we could chuck on some Avril and yell 'hey, you, I don't like your girlfriend' and jump around until the day is over.

Option two, I hear you say? Let's dive in, then.

Browse below a selection Valentine's Day musical interludes to suit your mood, ranging from cathartic to bottle number Bridget Jones, and remember: self-love is for everyday, not just Valentine's (or pandemic times, or not-more-snow-day times or…you get the idea).

Find the full playlist here and a sprinkling of Youtube links below for the truly brilliant music videos.

Mood One: Talk To The Hand

Slam the Zoom door, exit stage left, sashay away. However grand your exit, make sure you’re doing it to some epic outro music. Cue the lights, grab the mic (read: wine bottle) and sing the ghost of partners past out of your life.

JoJo - Leave (Get Out) - feel the noughties angst and the shame of low-slung pants with this classic.

Hound Dog, Elvis - 'you ain't never caught a rabbit and you ain't no friend of mine.' Truer words have never been sung, even if i'm not entirely sure what it means.

Not Coming Home, Maroon 5 - in the pandemic-riddled world we're in currently not coming home sounds more like a treat than a threat, but you can still strut to the other end of your flat with this tune.

Yo Viviré, Celia Cruz - I Will Survive, but make it spicy with the queen of salsa.

Mood Two: The Ugly Cry

Because life is tough right now and letting those tears flow is what we all need from time to time. Whether you’re missing your BFFs, work-wives or drinks with your Galentines let it all out with these timeless tear jerkers.

Crazy, Patsy Cline - you're at the bar, just picture it: table for one, drink for one, large chips for one, extra ketchup for one...is that a tear I see? If it's a tear for actually being in a bar again that's okay too.

Everytime, Britney Spears - the piano, the video, all the feels going out to Britney right now, this had to be in there.

Love You Didn't Do Right By Me, Rosemary Clooney - old-school Hollywood really knew their love songs, and George Clooney's Aunt certainly makes you feel it. Grab a martini, slip into something glamorous and channel her broken-hearted class with this song.

Sara Bareilles, Gravity - the piano & string version, if you please. Perfect for staring listlessly out of the window with a steaming mug of something watching your dreams disappear into the distance.

Mood Three: To Laugh Or Cry

One minute you're all about that single life, the next minute it's heartbreak hotel. Don't know whether to laugh or lose it? Do both with these cathartic tunes that include mandatory head-banging, hip-shaking and uncoordinated extremity-waving.

Girlfriend, Avril Lavigne - find some pink clip-in streaks for your hair, then close your eyes and randomly pick out three items of clothing from your wardrobe. Now you have the look down, grab your air guitar and get to it!

So What, P!nk - is there anything better than a gnarly electric guitar, yelling nonsense na-na-na and pretending that you're the punk queen herself?

Backstage Romance, Moulin Rouge! The Musical - a musical theatre version of a Lady Gaga classic, bring out your flamenco and jazz hands (and listen out for the Seven Nation Army interlude, it's epic).

Mr Brightside, The Killers - if you haven't jumped around to this song like Cameron Diaz in The Holiday, then you've watched that scene and always wanted to. Now is your chance.

[Fun fact: exercise, including jumping around to your fave tune, is one of the best ways to relieve the stress induced by this holiday. So count this section as therapy.]

Mood Four: Ain’t No Party Like A Single Party

You survived the mushiest day of the year, can I get a ‘hell yeah’ in the back?! Now repeat after me: I am a fabulous, kick-ass and resilient human being and I give love to myself always. Say that three times and crank the bass in honour of your brilliance.

I Don't Need A Man, Pussycat Dolls - if you aren't attempting that last high-note 'OH', you aren't committed enough. Start the track again.

S Club Party, S Club 7 - for all the millennials who remember when this was a cool dance to do at the disco, and for everyone else who can now learn this routine.

WAP, Cardi B feat. Megan Thee Stallion - breaking down sexism on the daily, these queens provide major inspiration for being 100% yourself. The ambitious among you can try the dance routine, but fair warning: it's slightly more advanced than S Club 7.

Already, Beyonce feat. Shatta Wale & Major Lazer - you may never be as cool as Beyonce, but you can serve up severe side-eye from your throne to all the haters and second-Aunts who dared to ask: 'so why don't you have a partner yet, dear?'

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There you have it. Four moods, four songs, four ways to see you through the wild, weird and wily thicket that is Valentines Day. What other songs would you add into these categories? Is this day really only about the haves vs. the have nots? Whatever it ends up being, music truly does have an answer for it all.

Bonus tracks that didn't quite make the cut but needed a tip of the hat:

Stars And The Moon, Shoshana Bean - this one hits me right in the feels, but I can't quite tell if it's happy or sad. You decide.

Wolf In Sheep's Clothing, This Providence - the weary lyrics combined with some great 00's indie vibes makes this a keeper. Tip: try speaking this out loud, and maybe recycle some parts for your next 'heated discussion.'

Piece Of Me, Britney Spears - do I need a reason to include Britney twice? No, no I don't.