The Snippet...

A soundtrack to my life? An impossible task for me, that I've given myself an hour and 15 minutes to complete. I should stop now. I want to stop now. My damn hands are still clicking this keyboard. My dependency on music won't let me sleep without letting the few people who will read this know a micro version of my theme music. The torture of it all.

The main obstacle is narrowing down this playlist enough so that I can meet the deadline. I have to constrict myself to songs that have a direct correlation to my life experiences. Seems simple enough but it is miles from being straightforward. I feel a swelling, incapacitating emotional connection to all the music I love. So whittling my list down is like clogging my arteries. How can I not include Brenda's Got A Baby by Tupac? It strengthened my understanding of the power of hip hop and storytelling. Excluding A Change is Gonna Come by Sam Cooke is like dismissing my own history. I would think you need to know why I want to walk down the aisle to Nearer to You by Betty Harris. Nat King Cole's Unforgettable because... I refuse to explain why I would need this song on this playlist. I digress, reluctantly. I will save you from the pointless rambling and commence to delve into the songs I have selected.

Fair Eastside has to be number one. Lean On Me is my favorite movie. It has been since I became cognizant of what I like and don't like. Fair Eastside is the school song for Eastside High in Jersey. This song hit my little 4 year old soul so hard I wanted to go to said high school. It was literally my dream to go to Eastside High and sing the school song at assemblies, in the hall, on the bus to school, wherever and whenever. As I got older, doing well in school was the one skill I could identify for myself. Fair Eastside was the definition of school spirit of hope for one's future, of pride in one's origin story, and of proving people wrong. Most important it made me believe in myself. The arrangement of the song is absolutely perfect. I am not going to claim to have felt that at 4 years old when I first heard it but I know it meant the world to me. It still does. It makes me remember how I much I loved learning, which was crucial in my times of doubt and failure. (The version of Fair Eastside I wanted is not the one on Spotify playlist).

(I love There is A Light That Never Goes Out but that not's the song on this playlist. I had to argue with myself to not add this song. This is painful. )

Please, Please, Please Let Me Get What I Want could be played on repeat and it would sum up how I was feeling when I first heard that song. I was watching 500 Days of Summer and fell in love with The Smiths as soon as heard Morrissey. I know I was in high school, not sure what year I was in. I just know that I felt like they were peering into my deepest self and giving me words for what lied dormant. I was lonely and despondent. It felt like things had been going bad for centuries and I was begging God to give me a smidge of good.

I really stumbled on Maybe This Time by Liza Minelli. I love musicals and I was getting soundtracks to musicals that I was obsessed with by means of illegal downloading. I still haven't finished Cabaret but thank God I clicked on this song. As far as I can recall I cried instantly. Crushes of unrequited love's past danced on my heart as I heard Liza belt this ballad. This hope against hope that something different would come. It's hard when you're in high school and it's your anthem, even worse when you're 28. "It's gotta happen, happen sometime, maybe this time, maybe this time I'll win."

Had to put this up cause of the memories. I lost hours of sleep that I don't even want back watching VH1 Soul.

I was 19 years when I heard Bibi Bourelly's Ego on VH1 Soul (when there was a VH1 Soul). If you know the song you know the fact that I was 19 made me really think the song was made for me. Her soulful voice and blunt lyrics described the person I wanted to be. I wanted to shout "I will never ever ever give a fuck." When I listened to that song it was possible and it was my reality. I would have spurts of being that person until she fully presented herself. This song acted as my guide to finding that confidence. It also must be noted that VH1 Soul was my gateway to so much good music. And I am grateful, I am eternally grateful. (Lean On Me quote). It all goes back to Lean On Me, always.

I was really seeping into the person I wanted to be when I found Benjamin Clementine. Condolence is a declaration, a proclamation. It is a decision you have to make daily. Benjamin Clementine is the personification of a true artist and visionary. The type of intentional artist I hope to be. "Where I'm from you see the rain before the rain even starts to rain." I take this line as an acknowledgement of the power the mind has to darken your senses before the world can further do so. I'm sorry fear you have no place in my being any long. Insecurity you're out of here. It is spiritual.

I'm going to bring this to close with Note to Self by Jake Bugg. So glad I didn't stop at his hit single Lightning Bolt. This song is the reminder I needed when I was a teenager, the memo I need now, and the dissertation I'll need if I make it to 80. Kind words can't solely come from from family, friends, or spouses, you have to be the speaker of the house sometimes.

I'll stop here. I have enough time to embed the link to the playlist. I know this list isn't complete but it is also important to note that a full playlist would've exceeded the word limit.