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The Seven Stages of Grief Quarantine Playlist

Music for every moment from shock to triumph

By Walter RheinPublished 4 years ago 9 min read
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Image by Walter Rhein

The Coronavirus pandemic has rocked our lives and shaken the foundations of our mental stability. For the last few weeks, we’ve all been riding a roller coaster of emotion and it doesn’t look like the end is anywhere in sight. This has been a traumatic experience for the entire world, and for the sake of everyone’s health it’s important to understand how to navigate the seven stages of grief as it relates to a stay at home quarantine.

Processing grief is like embarking on a hero’s journey. There are obstacles you have to pass through, and there is no way to escape confronting all the challenges. You’ll need to laugh, cry, and scream to clear all the cobwebs out of your mental carburetor and get back to your happy place. But don’t worry, the journey provides a guaranteed return to whatever passes for normalcy in your personal world.

You go through a mini version of the seven stages of grief with the highs and lows of every day. Each stage can also add a prolonged period of influence over every aspect of your life as you pass through it like a lunar phase. You can’t stop the tide, and you can’t stop the seven stages of grief. So you might as well stop fighting, strap in, and enjoy the ride.

The Seven Stages of Grief quarantine playlist will provide you with needed guidance for what lies ahead:

1. Shock and Denial

The first stage hits you like a bucket of cold water right in the face. Blam! Shock and denial. “Coronavirus! What’s that? What’s happening?” You’re concerned, upended, confused and close to panic. “This can’t be true, what can I do to stop it? Nothing! Aaaaahhh!”

What song better encapsulates this emotion than “It’s The End Of The World As We Know It (And I Feel Fine)”?

To be honest, normally I find R.E.M. to be pretty annoying. But the speed of this song and the borderline hysteria of the vocals make this the perfect Coronavirus shock and denial anthem. Even the weekly crooned “and I feel fine” at the end is not at all convincing and veritably reeks of denial.

No matter what happens, Coronavirus does indicate the end of the world as we know it. Make no mistake, we will emerge from this crisis, but our worldview will be forever changed. By the time we’re done passing through all seven stages we might be able to see how that’s not a bad thing, but at the beginning it’s pretty scary.

2. Pain and Guilt

Next up is pain and guilt. “Did I somehow cause this? What could I have done differently? How can I live with the magnitude of this anguish?” It’s pretty terrible, the only good news is that you’re not feeling shocked anymore. The bad news is that the sensations of pain and guilt are worse instead of better.

The perfect song for this emotion is “Don’t Stand So Close To Me” by the Police. With social distancing firmly in place, this song makes just about every quarantine playlist, but for the purposes of my list the guilt inherent in the song is just as important as the separation.

The rumor I heard was that Sting actually did work as a teacher before deciding the benefits of being a rock star were slightly better. I’ve never heard him specifically attribute some kind of indiscretion with his change of career choice, but it seems to have worked out for Sting and it will also work out for you.

Yeah, this stage is miserable, but endure my friend endure, it will end eventually.

3. Anger and Bargaining

Anger is where things start to get fun. Remember how the Terminator intentionally provoked young John Connor and said, “Anger is more useful than despair?” Well, the Terminator was right. You can’t do a lot with despair except blow your nose. Anger at least allows you to break some stuff. My advice is to focus on the anger, the bargaining part can be a little pathetic. Let's face it, it's not "bargaining," it's begging.

A great anger song is “We Didn’t Start The Fire” by Billy Joel. The essential theme of the song is that the world is messed up and somebody is responsible and it’s not us. The songwriting consists of little more than Mr. Billy emphatically belting out a list of massive historical transgressions. By the end of the song you’re thinking, “Yeah, dang it, who did start that fire?” If you’re at home you might be thinking, “And who’s turn is it to wash the dishes?” Those two items are pretty much the same thing.

Get angry, it’s good for you. Go break something, you’ll feel better. Get a rock and smash your toilet into grains of sand. What else do you have to do?

4. Depression, Reflection, Loneliness

Anger was a bit of a reprieve, but crushing porcelain into powder takes a long time and is frankly exhausting (plus, now you’re going to need some mason jars). That surge of adrenaline that brought you useful anger has now led to a biochemical crash.

You’re going to have to drift off for a little bit, I’m gonna be straight with you, things are going to get weird. Don’t be afraid to suck your thumb. It’s okay, nobody’s watching, you’re all alone remember? Oh god I’m so depressed!

This is a weird stage that nobody fully understands. Are you happy, are you sad, are you numb? It’s sort of like you’re plummeting through space and time. The best song to represent this sensation is the completely bizarre “Journey Of The Sorcerer” by The Eagles. It’s also known as “The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy” song.

It might sound weird, but try to find some humor here. Any laughter will sound maniacal, but you gotta take what you can get.

5. The Upward Turn

Alright, you’ve done the hard work. Things are about to get better. By now you’ve come to recognize that you’re not really in control of anything. At first that scared you, but now you understand it means you are blameless for all your actions. That belief is super empowering, it’s also not quite true and won’t be good for your long term health if you stick with it. That’s why this is stage four not stage seven, but at least it is something you can enjoy for a bit.

The song for this stage is “I will Survive” by Gloria Gaynor. Yeah, you’re not quite through to the end, you're focusing on surviving instead of thriving. As Gloria belts this out you’re thinking, “well, good for that lady,” but you’re still not seriously considering asking her out. Still, it’s better than rummaging through the medicine cabinet in search of painkillers with the most recent expiration date (that was the last stage in case you were wondering).

Yeah! You’re going to survive! Keep on telling yourself that. Fake it until you make it! I’ll check in with you on stage six.

6. Reconstruction and Working Through

Hello and welcome to stage six! You’re doing it now. I don’t know if it’s the painkillers, the progress, or just because it’s afternoon and Jeopardy is on (finally), but you’re feeling pretty good. I mean, you’re not just telling yourself that you feel good and everyone around you is nodding out of politeness. You really feel it and they actually know it (except for that annoying aunt of yours who never admits you can do anything right, but she’s not around so to heck with her).

A kind of quiet confidence is developing. This isn’t just fake power anymore, this is real power! Don’t mess with you! You might want to go out and punch someone in the face, but safely, you know, wearing gloves and a mask and keeping no less than six feet away.

The theme song for stage six is none other than “Gonna Fly Now - Theme From Rocky” by the legendary Bill Conti. Go out and get some! This is a good one to blast as you finally get around to washing those dishes! Congratulations champ!

7. Acceptance and Hope

In all honesty, don’t rush through stage six. That’s a good stage, and frankly if you never get to stage seven, you’re doing just fine. Stage seven is enlightenment, but it’s also the end, and if you start to think too much about the end you might tumble all the way back down to stage one. After all, there’s nowhere else to go but down.

But, forget about all that, this isn’t the time for misery, this is stage seven! Perfection! Happiness! Joy! Self-actualization! You did it! You saved every one of us! King of the impossible! And the theme to emphasize and celebrate this moment is none other than “Flash” by Queen.

As you listen to this song you might think, “It kind of sounds like the producers of a bad 80's film paid the band an obscene amount of money for a theme song, and Queen spent more time cashing the check than they did actually producing the music.” Well, you’d be right. But the result is still glorious.

So gather up your bird men, steal an air ski, and storm the castle! You’ve totally saved the world. But don’t go out and watch the movie, it’s just as bad as you remember.

The Definitive Quarantine Playlist

Yup, a human brain is a mixed bag of fluid, electricity, and enzymes. It doesn’t make much sense, but we haven’t figured out how to download our personalities into a computer yet so we’re stuck with it.

Quarantine has tossed a spanner into the world mechanism, but when that happens all you can do is fish it out because, hey, free spanner!

Photo by Matt Artz on Unsplash

In any given life there are a few moments where the pain can become unbearable. In fact, you can guarantee a series of such moments. These aren’t problems you can think your way out of or work your way out of. All you can do is hunker down and wait for time to pass. The good news is that music always makes those moments more bearable.

So crank it! Stay healthy everyone!

Photo by sydney Rae on Unsplash

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About the Creator

Walter Rhein

I'm a small press novelist. Shoot me an email if you want to discuss writing in any capacity, or head over to my web page www.streetsoflima.com. [email protected]

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