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The Rapping Granny

Making a Foo for You Know Who

By Denise E LindquistPublished 3 years ago Updated about a year ago 5 min read
A Rapping Granny

My grandson knew I like to write and he asked that I write him a rap song. I thought to myself, why not? And I started by asking him a few questions as I already knew many things about him to put in a song.

I should say here that I listened to very little rap music then or now and had no business thinking I could write it.

I put a cap on to get in the mood to write his song. (I am in the photo above!) I was so pleased when I approached him with my first rap song, written for him. He said, “Grandma, it is too long. No one is going to listen to any song that lasts for ten minutes!”

Then I asked him, how long should it be? He said, “2 ½ minutes to 3 minutes is enough.” I said okay, I can do that. Then he said, “and Grandma you need to rhyme more”. I then said I will try to rhyme more. He said, “Well, then you don’t have a beat”.

I told him, I have a hand drum, a rattle, and a few other musical instruments. That is not the beat he meant!

Five years ago, I started a Poem a Day in February, and it helped me to rhyme. No poems but my purpose was to write a rap song. After that first year, I didn't write any more rap songs.

It is several years later and I'm not there yet, and I am okay with never being a rap artist as my grandson told me when he got a little older that I just don’t understand the language and that was okay with him and okay with me too.

I got back to him with a few songs anyway that year. In putting songs together, I had his younger brothers helping me; one grandson on the hand drum and one on the rattle, as I rapped along with them.

I asked a medicine man rapper that I went to see perform to assist me with questions I had about the beat as the hand drum and rattle is not what the grandson was referring to as the beat.

The rapper said, "Many people are better off doing the songs as spoken word." He asked, "Have you ever 'Considered' doing that?" I felt like he was trying to let me down easily.

He was not saying I was too old to be writing rap songs and singing rap music, but when reading between the lines, I heard, please just do what you can maybe do and call it spoken word.

So, if you are old, like me, don’t even try rap songs as you will make a fool of yourself as I have. I got the message that I do not know what I am doing. Now, I think of the Poem a Day in February as a means to make my writing more interesting by adding rhyme to my stories when it fits in.

I am including one of the fun little songs we did for the Grandson, who asked for a rap song. You have to be careful what you ask for with some Grandmas.

Brandon Rap

I’m Denise and I’m a rapping granny, I’m not a nanny.

There will be a beat and my rap will be neat.

My rap won't have the N-word, the B word, or the F-bomb,

I'm not a big bad rapping mom.

If that is the kinda rap you are expecting boo,

This is not the rap for you.

There won't be loser or boozer,

maybe just a little snoozer.

So sing along to this little rap of mine,

It'll be fine, so sublime.

That is me, quite a performance to see,

a rapper to be.

It is my life, just a bit rife.

There will be rapping granny on my signs,

it has to be longer the grandson chimes,

not enough rhymes.

No time I say to do this right,

it's okay I'm not uptight.

Okay just don't holler, I'm not a baller.

Not living large, not even, Sarge.

Oh, that's right I forget,

you aren't in the army yet.

So he will repeat, you don't have a beat,

okay that's neat.

I'll make it up as I go,

I made a drum you know.

A rapping granny will show

you how it's done, it should be fun.

It's Friday and the grandson is wrestling,

some find it refreshing.

He will be cradling, which is a component,

he'll be pinning his opponent.

It should be exciting and fun,

he'll have them all on the run.

I’m a very good fan, of the boy who will be a man.

Who will be 18 soon?

So tell me now is that what it takes to fly to the moon?

He will be eighteen soon. He will be in Africa in June.

He will be in the Army in July, in basic.

This rapping granny is making herself sick.

To think this baby that once was just a little guy,

will be ready to fly away in July.

So mommy and granny who have spoiled the boy,

will have to let him go as he's not a toy.

And hope and pray we've given him some say,

to make his way in this world today.

Don't worry we will still be praying,

as we are weighing

ourselves at the YMCA, and the water ceremony on Sunday.

And no matter what we say it will be everyday,

as we know he is in the Creator's hands as he's always been and all we can

do is pray! I am happy today and my kids are okay.

I have grands and great-grands that say,

I love you gramma and it makes my day.

To hear one say, do you have a penny, a dime, and a nickel

for a pickle?

As then there is the rapping grand who just has a need

for a tee shirt and a 20, that's fine it's not weed,

or speed or greed.

My thoughts are for my children and grandchildren,

and great-grandchildren.

And today we are all free to be as happy as can be.

The best thing of all is we get to be the 'real me',

and we just love our serenity.


About the Creator

Denise E Lindquist

I am married with 7 children, 27 grands, and 12 great-grandchildren. I am a culture consultant part-time. I write A Poem a Day in February for 8 years now. I wrote 4 - 50,000 word stories in NaNoWriMo. I write on Vocal/Medium weekly.

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  • Cathy holmesabout a year ago


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