Songs to Celebrate You

Ah, yes, Valentines Day. The fateful 14th day of the second month of February that everyone either anxiously waits for with bated breath or stubbornly sneers at with a giant bomb fire prepared in their backyard.

The infamous holiday has been both a high and a low for me at different times in my life, but it wasn't always dependent on my status as a "single" or "taken" individual. As someone who was diagnosed with clinical depression at age 14, some years Valentines became a day to hate everything I was and ever could be; someone undeserving of love.

Reinventing the meaning of Valentines Day then became something of a challenge for me once I became an adult. I didn't want to feel miserable on a day that society deemed to be a time to celebrate. I wanted to join in on the fun...just in a different way.

When it came time to walk the isle of my local grocery store and be bombarded by balloon hearts and special mystery chocolate boxes and the occasional lingerie sale right after the Christmas decorations had been taken down, I came to realize that Valentines day didn't have to be about being in love with someone else, or even about being "alone" on a romantic holiday. It could be about me. It could be about how I love myself.

Music was just one of many ways that I showed myself some appreciation. I'll be the first to admit that my playlists have always been very diverse with genres that really shouldn't go together, however, as a music lover I felt that any song in any language or style can be understood and universally loved.

So here is my "Anti-Valentines Day" playlist, or as I like to lovingly call it: "F$%@ Your Valentines Day, this is My Day" playlist.

1. "Adios" by EVERGLOW

Look, I had to start off this playlist with a banger, and what's better than the insanely catchy "goodbye" power anthem by the South Korean girl group, EVERGLOW? If this doesn't get you dancing out of your seat, I don't know what will.

You cannot begin to love yourself until you say "adios" to the toxic people in your life, and this song is all about realizing your importance and having the strength to move on to better things! My favorite line from the song that sealed the deal for it's place on this playlist was this:

처음부터 주인공은 나였어야 해

"I should've been the main character in the first place"

2. "Me, Myself & I" by G-Eazy X Bebe Rexha

I can still remember finding this song while writing a short story for one of my characters for a fantasy series I had been working on at the time. It was a stellar find not only for representing the attitude of my character, but also for having another catchy song that perfectly sums up the feeling of being true with yourself.

Me, Myself & I is a very open and honest song that speaks on the need to have alone time to think things through and self reflect. It also has a wonderful chorus that encourages you to be your own best ally and to always remember that your passions can carry you through any storm.

Oh, it's just me, myself and I

Solo ride until I die

‘Cause I got me for life

Oh I don't need a hand to hold

Even when the night is cold

I got that fire in my soul

3. "Love Bites (So Do I )" by Halestorm

One of my favorite bands of all time, Halestorm is spear headed by talented vocal artist Lizzy Hale whose powerful rock n' roll voice can shatter glass and hearts across the globe. Honestly she is a complete badass and deserves to be on every single ladies playlists. Beyonce who?

I was mesmerized by this song not only for it's fun and sexy lyrics but also for the empowerment it made me feel. Many times in my love life I felt out of control, completely under the spell of my significant other and taking the submissive role. But Love Bites reinvigorated my own agency and need to take back the reigns on love and my own desires for what I want in any relationship! Just give it a listen. If you are a rock n' roll fan, you can't go wrong with Halestorm.

I was down and out, got up, and said

“Hey love, I've had enough”

I've felt pleasure without pain

My soul you'll never tame

4. "I Am an Outsider" by Three Days Grace

Oh, what is that? Were you expecting a different song? Maybe a song with the chorus "I Hate Everything About You?" Trust me, the old Three Days Grace anthem is a great choice for any Anti-Valentines Day playlist and a personal favorite of mine, but I wanted to choose a song that was a bit more positive and focused on the themes of self love and self acceptance. Plus, we need to appreciate the new vocalist, Matt Walst, who has an amazing voice.

A slower rock song that might feel melancholy to some, but to me and to many of its fans, it's a song that openly invites pride and honesty with being an outsider of society. Valentines Day is especially notorious for swarming mainstream media and cramming ideas of chocolates, roses and romantic candle lit dates down our throats, but there is absolutely nothing wrong with choosing not to partake in it.

I am an outsider

I don't care about the in-crowd, no

Better off on my own now

5. "Love Myself" by Hailee Steinfeld

You've probably heard this song on the radio, and for good reason. Not only is it a bop, but it has a great message behind it. In order to love anyone, you need to first learn to love yourself, and Hailee Steinfeld gives you plenty of suggestions to set the mood.

Hailee says it best herself in her interview with The Elvis Duran Show:

"We’re fed this false sort of sense of what we’re supposed to be like in order to love ourselves. I think this song kind of highlights the power of loving yourself and empowering yourself."

As the song goes, hey, I love me, and I don't need anybody else!

6. "Potential Breakup Song" by Aly & Aj

An Anti-Valentines Day playlist is not complete without a song about a break up, but many break up songs are steeped in despair, self confusion and loathing, and even hatred towards the singer's former significant other. Aly & Aj however come in with a catchy, classic upbeat song about a bad boyfriend who forgets their birthday and they rally themselves by declaring that said boyfriend is missing out on a couple of amazing girls!

This song refuses to let the girls settle for less than the best while also hyping up the broken hearted. In high school, this song got me through a particularly bad breakup where my first boyfriend ended our relationship on my birthday. A birthday that happens to fall a few days before Valentines Day. Yep. It was a rough one.

'Cause without me, you know you're lost

Minus you, I'm better off

Soon you will know

Ironically, that ex and I have become very good friends, pretty much family, and together we cringe and laugh over our brief, young infatuation all those years ago. He recently just proposed to a wonderful girl and I couldn't be happier! Just goes to show that not every break up has to end badly.

7. "Rainbow" by Kesha

Now we reach the end of this highlighted playlist with easily one of if not the most important track on this list. Rainbow is all about seeing the beauty in your self and in your life. On Valentines Day it can be so easy to drown in everyone else's positivity and happiness when you yourself just aren't. And that's ok. What is most important is that you recognize that this sadness won't last forever, and that there is a rainbow waiting for you beyond the storm.

But now I see that colors are everything

Got kaleidoscopes in my hairdo

Got back the stars in my eyes, too

Yeah, now I see the magic inside of me

Kesha wrote this beautiful song while she was in rehab. Her caretakers only allowed her to have access to a piano one hour a day, and she used that hour to write this song. It's truly a remarkable story full of pain, loss and hope. I highly encourage anyone struggling to check out her 2017 album also titled Rainbow.

"Rainbow is my letter of encouragement, a promise that I want to start a new dialogue and be more supportive and nicer to myself." - Kesha

And that's a wrap! I truly hope these seven songs speak to you, even if they are not the first songs you would think of for "Anti-Valentines" anthems. I wanted to try a different angle that would speak on the gaping hole Valentines leaves in some of our hearts, a hole that for all tense and purposes, is one that should be filled with our love for ourselves.

Below I will leave my growing Spotify playlist that includes all the songs I collected during my research extravaganza for this article. You might find more familiar songs as well as some more unexpected gems to sing along to. More than likely I will continue to add to it as I find more songs. Feel free to add it to your libraries and listen along whenever you like!

Now, just do me one favor. On Valentines Day, go do something that makes you happy. I myself, will be buying some shushi and watching the newest episode of Attack on Titan while working on my debut novel!

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To follow me on my writing journey, you can find me @Amanda_Starkes on Twitter and check out my semi-finished website ( I swear one of these days I'm going to put more on there ) amandastarks.com.