Single And Not Ready to Mingle

Therapy, if taken seriously and to heart, is a bummer sometimes. One has to face certain truths about one’s self. I’d really like to be with someone right now, romantically, but I’m not in the best place. I need to sort some things out. Yay!!! Therapy gold star for me! I am now taking a bow in my living room. My first song on my Anti-Valentine’s Playlist is “Face to Face” by Siouxsie and the Banshees.

The song is from the movie “Batman Returns” and depicts the toxic relationship between Batman and Catwoman. I actually have three cats, so I am claiming Catwoman status here. The lyric that especially appeals to me is “They say follow your heart, follow it through...but how can you when you’re split in two?” I want to date right now, but I also want to stop the pattern of relationships that I have been choosing.

My second song is “Gypsy” by Fleetwood Mac. I’m very creative and free spirited. A little too much at times for some people. My single status has been, in many ways, an asset to my individuality. “To the Gypsy, that remains....her face says freedom...”

“I Can’t Go For That” by Hall & Oates is third and I love this because “I’ll do almost anything that you want me to, but I can’t go for that, no, no, no can do” is such a polite way to set boundaries. And it’s firm. The song is so damn smooth, too. Hard to argue with this song’s logic.

But if you want to spice it up....here’s number four: “You Had Me” by Joss Stone. Her voice is amazing. The groove is undeniable. I’m dancing and I seriously cannot dance. I think most of us have had at least one partner who has had a substance abuse problem and she just puts it right out there. “I’ve realized in time that my eyes are not blind. I’ve seen it, before, I’m takin’ back my life.” Too many of us stay in relationships as a counselor instead of as a partner.

Number five should be on everyone’s list. Male and female. “I Will Survive” by Gloria Gaynor. All Hail Gloria! “And so you’re back...from outer space...” Isn’t that how we all feel when an ex randomly texts us? I remember cranking this up in my dorm room at 18, when I thought I knew what heartache meant. Now at 44 years old, I’m still learning and yep, still surviving.

“Each time I find myself layin’ flat on my face, I just pick myself up and get back in the race.” - “That’s Life” by Frank Sinatra coming in at number six. I’ve been dealt some pretty bad cards in love, but no matter what, I still believe in love. I still believe that I’m a lovable, worthwhile human being. I choose Valentine’s Day as a self-love day. I always buy myself a gift. This year, I bought an enormous giraffe pin because I loved the huge dove pin that Lady Gaga wore at the Inauguration. That’s life. This is my life.

Lucky number seven is Bobby Brown’s “My Prerogative.” Social media can be very helpful, entertaining, and inspiring. It can also make people feel lousy about themselves. The comments, the lack of “likes,” the questions about lifestyles. Now, you are indeed putting yourself out there when you go online, but people can be so judgmental. Lack of relationship status can be especially troubling for some. “Everybody’s talking all this stuff about me. Why don’t they just let me live?”

The next one is just pure sass. Number eight, Pat Benetar ruled the early ‘80s with “Hit Me With Your Best Shot.” “Before I put another notch in my lipstick case, you better make sure you put me in my place.” The song is defiant, sexy, and is probably on most Gen X women’s gym playlists.

Number nine and oh so fine is sweet Prince. “The Most Beautiful Girl in the World.” I chose this song because I play it when I’m feeling the opposite of beautiful. And because sensuality basically drips from Prince’s fingertips and vocals. It’s uplifting and inspiring. “This is for the ladies.” Swoon........

Finally, the greatest pro-single song of all, is of course, “The Greatest Love of All” by Whitney Houston. It’s number ten and it’s a Perfect 10. This song actually came out when I was ten years old. I didn’t understand it at the time. Took me several years to get it, actually. Man, every time I hear “I decided long ago never to walk in anyone’s shadows. If I fail, if I succeed, at least I’ll live as I believe” I feel taller. And I’m only 5’2”.

I’m single. I can’t honestly say that I love it. I do what I can to love myself. Amuse myself. Take good care of myself. Learn from myself. Be creative. Be angry if need be. Be happy when I can be. I’ll get myself back out there when I’m ready. ❤️

https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLOvKsOXJ-L5J6v7p9KjaHHrV9nYoTputX