Romantically Hopeless - A Taylor Swift Playlist

The challenge: Make an Anti-Valentine's Day playlist.

I'll see you that. And raise you the making of an Anti-Valentine's Day playlist of songs from the Music Industry herself, the Queen of Love Songs, the ultimate Hopeless Romantic: Taylor Swift.

I know what you're thinking. What is she thinking? Taylor's entire career has been made out of love songs. Songs about love. Songs hoping for long. Songs while in love. Songs about losing love. Songs about finding love again. You must be thinking this is a fail from the start. Forget it. Move on. Skim. Back space. Delete. Unlike. Not a winner.

You'd be wrong. Dead wrong. Why? I know something you don't.

Alright, story of us time for a second. Taylor Swift and I go way back. I'd never really listened to music, until one day in one of my classes - I believe it was a Tuesday when she caught my eye - one of my classmates started playing Love Story, loudly. I listened to every one of her songs that night. We were as different as night and day: she was famous, I was the shy kid in class who no one talked to; she was blonde, I was brunette; she was singing about love, I was at an all-girls school too afraid of boys to talk to one. Nevertheless, it felt like she was singing just for me.

I've been a Taylor Swift fan now for half my life. She has been the voice I turned to on my worst days, in my most hopeless moments, when I felt most alone. She has been the one promising me things would get better, showing me the way out, bringing light into my darkest days.

Now here comes the twist: Taylor has always been singing about love. Taylor has always been singing songs that spoke to me. I've never been in love.

Checking the cards in your hand now? Trying to figure out the cards I've got in mine? Will you call my raise? I'll show my cards, but you won't be happy about it. I've got a full house, you see.

You see, I've been single every single day of my 25 years. Every single one. I've never had a Valentine. I've never even gotten a Valentine's card (unless you want to count the one my third grade teacher gave me one year because she felt so sorry for me not getting one ... and I really don't). I've never had a boyfriend, or girlfriend. Never been on a date. Never been kissed.

Before you give me up for a lost cause, decide my lack of experience makes me useless, unable to offer the smallest shred of advice on a day dedicated to lovers, I beg to differ. Because I have more experience than probably anyone you know at the one thing you probably are right now: being single.

I'm the damn expert. I'm the gold medalist. I'm the Guinness Records holder. I know what I'm talking about, and I know what Valentine's Day feels like alone.

And I'm here to tell you the last thing you expect.

Taylor Swift songs are perfect for you.

And.

You're not alone on Valentine's Day.

You're just on a date with someone you usually never notice.

Yourself.

And you know what the best part about that is?

You are f**king fantastic.

In fact, being single on Valentine's Day, or alone in some other way, is probably a little bit like the journey we've all been through with this next song. You think it's probably the lowest you can go. And then you pay attention, and you realize it's actually pretty great. You may not break into song with it in public, but alone, you'd dance.

So, are you ready to find out how the Queen of being single (me) and the Queen of love songs (Taylor) can join together in the ultimate challenge to bring you the anti-Valentine's Day playlist of your dreams?

I would say to sit back, relax, and enjoy. But no, stand up, turn up the volume, and dance! There isn't anything to be small about today. Being single doesn't mean being less than, or halved. You are whole. You are worthy. You are lovable. You are hot. You are complete. All by yourself.

Not convinced yet? No worries, I've got you, babe. Just press play.

The Taylor Swift Anti-Valentine's Day Playlist

The 'Remind You Why Love Sucks' Chapter

For many, for most, this Valentine's Day is not a day to celebrate romantic love with intimate others. For many, for most, romantic loved ones are on the other side of a lockdown we cannot see the end of anymore. For many, for most, this Valentine's Day was about our relationships with the computer screen, attempting to make connection with loved ones we haven't hugged or touched for far too long. For many, for most, this Valentine's Day was about being alone.

Sometimes, all it takes to make you feel better about not being in love is remembering how badly love can go wrong. While real love is something to hope for (only if that's something you want, of course), the Hallmark Valentine's Day kind of love, just, well, isn't worth it. It may be shiny and pretty to play with, but in the end no amount of chocolate or anatomically incorrect heart-shaped cards in the world can make up for the damage of an insufficient love.

While I've already admitted that I don't have firsthand experience of the pain of a break-up, I've lost enough friends, and had enough crushes gone viral in the wrong company to have some idea. And for the rest, my teammate Taylor's got me covered.

So here, 5 Taylor Swift songs for your Anti-Valentine's Day celebrations. If you lost love this year, these songs are here for you. The only way to stop being sad is to let yourself be sad first. Or mad. Or bitter. Or whatever you feel. Let yourself feel it. This year, it's ok if love hurts. If you never had love this year, these songs are here to help you feel damn smug that if you did nothing else this year, at least you avoided this.

1. White Horse - Fearless

because Valentine's Day sells us the kind of heroes that don't exist

because the only hero you need is yourself

Our Lyric: This is a big world, that was a small town / There in my rear view mirror disappearing now / And it's too late for you and your white horse to catch me now

2. Dear John - Speak Now

because you deserve better than a love that lets you down

because sometimes love leaves scars

Our Lyric: But I took your matches / Before fire could catch me / So don't look now / I'm shining like fireworks / Over your sad empty town

3. I Knew You Were Trouble - Red

because we usually go for the ones who hurt us most

because we shouldn't until we're able to tell the difference

Our Lyric: I think that the worst part of it all wasn't losing him / It was losing me.

4. Tied Together With A Smile - Taylor Swift

because no one is worth giving away pieces of yourself

because you are already worth it

Our Lyric: Seems the only one who doesn't see your beauty / Is the face in the mirror looking back at you

5. champagne problems - Evermore

because the perfect fairytale Valentine's tries to sell us creates more heartache than happy endings

because unless it's what you really want, it's not a fairytale

Our Lyric: One for the money, two for the show / I never was ready, so I watch you go

The 'Remind You What Other Things There Are to Love That Aren't Love' Chapter

This year love hasn't looked anything like red hearts and chocolate candies. This year love has looked like sticking with it even when it screeches like a misplaced needle on a record player. This year love has looked like pyjamas and pant-less Zooms and hundreds of ghosted online dates and an exhaustion of hope. This year love has looked like breaking up, or never meeting. Mainly, this year, love has looked like being alone in your home, in your bed, in your dreams, for this year even our dreams were taken away.

Here is where my expertise begins to come in handy. See, I've had a lot of years of being left alone on Valentine's Day while everyone else is wrapped up in pink and red clouds of capitalist smog. And I've discovered something on those quiet, isolated, lonely, free days. I've discovered that there is a lot more about you, and about your life, to love than love. You are full of a lot more potential than just your potential to fulfill someone else's life.

It's embracing all the things that make you you, and that make you feel alive, and that make you feel excited for tomorrow, and that make you dream, it's embracing those things that fills you. And once you've embraced them all, you'll find there's hardly enough room left to look around and notice an absence. In fact, there isn't an absence to notice.

The only person who will fit into your life once you realize how full you make it, is someone you know is worthy enough to move over for.

So here, 6 Taylor Swift songs to celebrate and embrace all the ways you already fulfill yourself. For these days when we are alone in our rooms, staring at the ceiling, daring to dream.

1. Place in this World - Taylor Swift

because our place is wherever we make it

because it's ok if we're still looking, no matter how old we are

because that place will always be within us, not within someone else

Our Lyric: Got the radio on, my old blue jeans / And I'm wearing my heart on my sleeve / Feeling lucky today, got the sunshine / Can you tell me what more do I need

2. Sweeter Than Fiction - Single

because there is no lover better than your dreams

Our Lyric: And in this perfect weather / It's like we don't remember / The rain we thought would last forever and ever

3. The Best Day - Fearless

because there are loves worth cherishing more

because there are loves that do last forever

Our Lyric: And I didn't know if you knew / So I'm taking this chance to say / That I had the best day / With you today

4. The Lucky One - Red

because sometimes we get everything we dream of

because sometimes it's not what we thought it would be

because sometimes we have to be brave enough to make new dreams

Our Lyric: It was a few years later, I showed up here. / And they still tell the legend of how you disappeared / How you took the money and your dignity, and got the hell out.

5. no body, no crime (ft. Haim) - evermore

because, while I do not condone murder, there are a lot more fun things do to with your friends than with the men (or women) that cause the messes (like sing along to this song)

Our Lyric: [She was with me, dude]

6. Long Live - Speak Now

because the moments that last forever in our hearts

are not of Valentine's Day

they're these

Our Lyric: I said, remember this feeling / I passed the pictures around / Of all the years that we stood there / On the side-lines wishing for right now

The 'I'm Single and I'm Killing It' Chapter

Convinced yet? I've played most of my hand. Now it's up to you. To stand up. Turn the volume up. And dance with these songs, alone, in your bedroom where you've probably been for a year now. Celebrating yourself this Valentine's Day. Who knows. Maybe this will be your best relationship ever. Hopefully it will.

I think you're the best. Happy Valentine's Day, babe.

1. Clean - 1989

because it's the ultimate anti-Valentine's Day song

because Taylor wrote this in her anti-Valentine's Day years

because even our Hopeless Romantic was here, too

Our Lyric: When I was drowning, that's when I could finally breathe

2. Shake It Off - 1989

because there is absolutely nothing f**king wrong with being single

because Valentine's Day needs to push off for making you feel any differently

because you deserve to dance

Our Lyric: I'm dancing on my own (dancing on my own) / I make the moves up as I go (moves up as I go) / And that's what they don't know, mmm-mmm / That's what they don't know, mmm-mmm

3. the last great american dynasty - folklore

because women who know their power and don't care what other people think of them are the best

because there is nothing wrong with being the loudest in town

Our Lyric: There goes the loudest woman this town has ever seen / I had a marvelous time ruining everything

4. 22 - Red

because, let's be honest, you don't have to be 22 to feel this way

because, right now, we're all feeling this way

because you should always choose dance over cry

Our Lyric: We're happy, free, confused, and lonely at the same time / It's miserable and magical oh ya

5. Change - Fearless

because it's a playlist for rebellion

because what better rebellion than one Taylor is leading?

Our Lyric: Because these things will change / Can you feel it now? / These walls that they put up to hold us back will fall down / This revolution, the time will come / For us to finally win

6. The Man - Lover

because you don't need no man

because you are the man

7. New Romantics - 1989

because it doesn't need explaining

8. I heart ? - Unreleased

because in a time of waiting and isolation hope for the future is our light

because being single means we get this question mark

Our Lyric: I heart question mark

(Bonus Track): Happiness

Why? Because it insisted, repeatedly, by becoming stuck in my head while I made this playlist. But also because it's perfect.

Because while it may seem like the ultimate break-up song, it's really a reminder that happiness comes both within and without a relationship. That happiness is independent of intimate romance.

For a holiday capitalism has dedicated to selling us on the idea that we can never be whole or happy without romantic love, what could be more anti-Valentine's than that?

For my readers. May you know how perfectly complete you already are.

thank you for reading

love,

Audrey

Looking for more playlists? Check out my "Happy Valentine's Day Covid-19" playlist, for all of us whose closest relationship this year has been with the virus that stole the year away. Read it, and more, here.

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