Remembering

Every song I listen to holds a memory for me, from oldies to newbies. I decided to create a list of songs from the past, each representing a memory for me. Cheap Tricks song 'Mighty Wings' (1986) taught me that if I wanted something, I had to go get it, while Kenny Loggins 'Danger Zone' (1986) taught me to face my fears and fight back at a time when I was going through domestic violence and thought my life was over.

On the other hand Kate Bush 'Wuthering Heights'(1978) was my childhood song, still so dear, but holds some painful memories for me. This was my 'potty training song' as my mum put it. She remembers me singing this on the potty when I was little. However, as I grew up, I was going through a lot of abuse, and my mum and dad were splitting up. At the time I was faced with another kind of abuse, sexually, of which I couldn't talk about. I have always used music to express my fears when I can't put them into words, and this was the song I chose. Never less, after many years of healing and counselling, I can now listen to this song with happiness, and Kate Bush has always been my idol. She expresses emotion using very strong vocals and tempo in her songs, and I love the way they always have something deeply spiritual about them. Below is the video to Wuthering Heights:

source, you tube (access date by author, 21/05/2021) , released 1978. composed and sung by Kate Bush. Compiled by EMI Records.

However, my songs are not all 'doom and gloom.' Some also bring back the happy times, and one song that does that (of which I think all parents can relate to, is 'Our House' by Madness (1982), which is also included in my playlist. This song reminds me of when my children were young, and they left my house in utter chaos. It gets me through the bad memories, by helping me to remember the good times, not to mention all the upside down fun times we all had together at Haven's Seashore Caravan Park (North Denes Drive, Great Yarmouth, U.K). There were 5 children plus a baby with us, and they often turned our caravan and holiday life into utter chaos. As if our homelife wasn't chaotic enough for them! They just had to bring it on holiday too! We still had a whole lot of fun though, chasing them down the popular 'golden mile' into town, not to mention the toilet stops which occurred at every single toilet, thanks to my 3rd eldest son for that!!

Some of my songs also hold the precious memories of fondly listening to music in my bedroom as a child, and dancing at the top of my landing to my hearts content. I have Jason Donovan, Kylie Minogue, BROS, New Kids On The Block, Showaddywaddy and many more to thank for that!

There were so many songs with a mixture of different memories in my playlist. Some of love and fun, and some of loss and pain. However, I can't live without music. It always has been my life since I was a toddler. I learned to express myself through music, and I learned how to use my voice through the power of vocals. Many of the bands and singers in my list taught me to do that. Below you'll find a playlist of the songs that truly helped me, and taught me that 'I was worth living for.'

This list has a mixture of all kinds of different songs. I have never been one who sticks with one type of music. I believe that having a wider taste enables me to experience different emotions, which is important to my mental health. Therefore, each and every song you see here, reflects happiness, anger, sadness, joy and pain. It depends on what I am thinking at the time. This is not a bad thing though, because as a writer, music also creates a visual in my mind, which enables me to express those feelings on paper. In fact, the music I listen to, has often helped me to create some of the stories I write.

I use music for many different things; relaxation, mindfulness, writing, exercise, stories, even just to create the happy thoughts when I am feeling down. I get stories by listening deeply to the lyrics, and then I create images from those lyrics in my mind. I often find doing this enables me to write my thoughts on paper. Once I have done this, I can put those thoughts in order, and often, I come up with a story, and it never fails me!

I hope that you enjoyed reading this article, and please do check out my playlists. I have a few on Spotify!

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