my special song

by ASHLEY SMITH 2 months ago in metal

my special song

I knew the type of song I wanted to add here but like many people their favourites can change with mood. So I went a little backwards on the rules, I hope that's ok. I thought of the songs that have helped me through bad times, have cheered me up and helped me forget the world for a while. Despite my increasing age nothing beats screaming along to songs with a crowd at a heavy metal or thrash metal concert.

One benefit is that its usually so loud you cant tell one person from another unless you are very close, and in theory you are singing the words the band are singing. Get the words wrong and you might get found out.

I have been suffering depression and anxiety problems for more years then I care to remember. Concerts and CDs have been my escape. In younger years I would be in the mosh pit screaming along within feet of the singer. Know a bit older but no wiser I tend to let the younger people get smashed about but I still sing as loud.

This song is one I have screamed along at 3 concerts and many, many times on the cd its on. Indeed at one concert their were no barriers and the singer was stood on a monitor cabinet so was pretty much above me as he lent forward.

One other drawback with the sound being so loud is you cant hear yourself and it makes keeping your level hard. So if you cream and sing as loud as you think you need to then you end up not being able to talk after and with a very sore throat.

The band are known for anthemic songs with repeatable parts. "Born to bleed, fighting to succeed, built to endure what this world thrown at me" being the catchy refrain from this masterpiece.


I have always found this sort of music cathartic and the addition of it being played live in front of you increases its effect. This might seem strange considering the type of music involved and its inherent speed and aggression. That’s probably what helps me more, a chance to channel aggression and anger. The mosh pits and the people that inhabit them may seem fierce and brutal, occasionally they are, bit most are safe. If anyone gets in trouble they are helped out, anyone goes down they are helped up.

This song and a few others capture the pit atmosphere, the camaraderie and the exhilaration. Its something extra important for me as I tend now to stand at a distance. The likes of Hatebreed focus on the whole crowd but the ones closest seem to be the ones having the most fun. Everyone close thinks the singer is looking or pointing at them. You also have to be a little careful, even though its generally safe. You need to watch what’s going on a round you and this focus helps you forget the world a bit.

Weirdly while writing this I have random songs playing on my headphones and some of the other songs I could have chosen are being played. Like this one I plumped for I can see where I saw them last, remember the song being played and remember the experience based on where I stood. “Slipknot – surfacing” reminds me of being front and centre of 5000 people and getting the hottest and most squashed I can remember. Unfortunately I also being sick and bringing up blood but that’s another story.

“Pantera-walk” has sort of fond memories for me, my ex wife decided she was going to the concert with me. She had no idea how the pit worked and ended up black and blue and never went again

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England based carer, live with girlfriend. will write for all areas but especially mental health and disability. though as stuff for filthy seems popular will try there too

See all posts by ASHLEY SMITH