My Life's Long Melody

My life in music was ever-flowing. We all have those times with those songs at that time in our lives. It says how we feel; some pieces are lighter, while others are darker. Life’s ups and downs can make all the difference in the tone and melody. We start out early with the best songs of happiness and learning. This turns into much darker pieces when growing becomes difficult, and our minds are in more difficult places. So, most of us run to the music of our preferences. It may be many things that soothe the situation. As I look through my life, I go back to find the many songs that spoke to me. I have liked several genres: children’s, contemporary Christian, rock, pop, and even an occasional country song. I have even liked songs from different generations if they have the right sound. Even an older folk song has its importance. I have realized that all music has significance and have tried other pieces and even groups throughout the years.

In my earliest memories, I was generally happy. Not always the perfect child, but my parents did their best. I listened to Steve Green’s Hide Them in Your Heart and Raffi. Even shows like Mr. Rogers Neighborhood, Barney, and Lambchops Play Along. Each surrounded me with the music of my young years. Now, after all this time, I understand why my parents buried the pieces as fast as possible. I can only imagine the headaches for them. Yet, I watched and listened with great wonder and happiness. It was a simple childhood. I was raised in the middle class, so we had enough, but I did not care too much. It was the easiest time in my life and the most carefree. It is also when we also the time the least is expected of me. Those were the times I would like to remember when life was about having fun. At one point, my parents obtained tickets to see the set of Mr. Rogers Neighborhood in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, and even Mr. McFeely came to say hello.

School was a much more trying time. I was never the smartest, and things always took work. Though I look back at my childhood work, trying to find its difficulties now. I ended up with an IEP due to some learning problems. It was also discovered; I was writing some of my letters backward. It was not dyslexia but another problem with my motor connections. So, everything became more complex in the long run. Occasionally, I still write some letters backward, but I can catch them now. I also needed to catch up on my r sound. So, several rounds of occupational and speech therapy. I was even held back and sent to transitional kindergarten. So now I was a year older than all my classmates. I eventually improved, but learning took work since I have always had focus issues. This continues to the present day. I found some old report cards, and I did have mixed results. My handwriting has stayed chiefly messy.

I was a loner, but I was trying my best to make friends. I liked my shows, though, including Wishbone. I learned most of my classic novels from his adventures. The adventures made me want to know, and I love the book adventures. Now that I have watched it was the most terrible acting ever seen. I came out of the little children’s music. Even musicals like Sound of Music brought a whole other world to explore. The great classic musicals made a better appreciation for music. I eventually graduated as a Contemporary Christian in the late nineties. I still heard the secular stuff on the radio but barely cared for the fads of the time. I was a little young for the boy bands of the day but saw them more attractive as I grew into middle school. Mary Poppins is also a favorite movie to this day. Media was more than any friends since I still struggled to make them. I even found solace in sports which I truly enjoyed. Soccer was my greatest passion, but I stayed busy and ran off my energy for a long time. Exercise has always helped keep me calm.

Middle school was not much better with the trauma of the girl world. I did not care much, but getting into sports helped, and I could have been more talented. I played sports better but felt left out of the crowd. It was the annoying hormones of young life. Everything then changed, and switching schools with a whole other group of classmates did not help. Yet the world was not getting better. Music of the secular was becoming more friendly. However, the boys still needed to be more bright in class. I would not want to repeat that drama in life.

Going to high school improved me as I was at the top of my small private school class. It was insignificant in all aspects, but so did anyone in high school. I started gaining some confidence and have a group of classmates I have known. Between those years, I switched schools and ended up in the middle of my class due mainly to a larger group. It was another change with a new group of classmates. They were generally lovely and made a friend of two. It was rough, and getting a grip on success seemed difficult. I do hate adjustments, even today. I did as many sports and school plays but mainly sat in the background. I wanted a chance to become an adult. Now I look back to find that it needed to be thought out.

College was challenging, considering my test-taking could have been better. I am intelligent, but I need help to think straight through tests. My local university denied me due to my ACT and SAT scores. Still, it let me to my community college on a full scholarship for two years. It even covered books I used once in a class at the university. I had excellent grades at community college and even joined the honor society. I only had two Bs, one being in an English class.

So, I applied to a different university but needed a car or felt it was the right place. So, I still had half of the tuition at my local university, where my parents graduated. I only had that since they denied me initially. I had a more challenging time, and the classes could be problematic with business. I was a protestant at a catholic university and only released the information limitedly. I even took some extra English classes, including Greek and Roman Mythology and one on Tolkien. I even had a professor that taught both my parents. I came upon a good group of friends, then went our separate ways when it all ended. It was fun, and I struggled in athletics, and my classes went to the highest b average one can get. I had both good and bad memories, and I was glad to have met the friends I did.

With no plans, I went to grad school at the same place in business administration. I was doing decent, and some classes were challenging, but I studied. I even passed some, ones I still needed to have all the prerequisites. I struggled in my last year of athletics and even with hurting myself in the previous few years. I had to limit my activities to this day. I did enjoy the extra time to myself and finished my degree on time. I was sad to see the excellent experience end as I was out of the grad/non-trad group. It was heartbreaking but fun at other elements.

Welcome to adulting was the new world. I applied for jobs without prevailing. I first started in college with Mcdonalds, and that was busy when they miss-trained me. Then they punished me for that. I then worked summers at the college cleaning the different buildings till one boss believed a bunch of self-preserving tattle tales. I have never worked somewhere so petty. Next, I worked at the school’s copy center for the year. I do miss that job, even if the machines jammed. I then moved on to work laundry at the local hospital, but that was not easy. It was rumored to be outsourcing near the end, so I moved jobs again. I tried manager and supervisor trainee programs, but none panned out. Everyone wants experience but never wants to give it either. So, I went to a credit union, which was fine until they laid me off the day after my birthday. I still miss the members and the excellent sit-down job.

Then I came to this horrible job. A warehouse further away was hiring, and I took it. I started with an awful feeling I could not stand from the beginning. I had run into problems with my sports injuries, and my supervisor was not listening. My rate dropped severely. I also had temperament issues in that location. After working for a year, I was hired for a permanent position in my worse department. I was angry, and luckily, the second supervisor helped a sub spot that was better for my injury. My rate did improve, and I was doing decently till management changed the system. My speed dropped again, and I had to find something new to improve. Finally, they rid themselves of that awful system, and the place has changed so much. When the company was bought, it became worse, and rules were changing. Each new idea is worse than the other. So now I listen to my music to get away from it all. I know hope is out there, and I am searching for it.

So far, the melody of my life will get better than dead-end jobs and better at making friends.