Musical Inquisition

“You hear the papers rustling?”said Felix De Fe. He resides 9 ½ steps from Medio C.

“Yeah I think we’re up!” said Beatrice De Sol. She lives a whopping 17 ½ steps away.

You see all the keys, or las llaves, have names. The females reside in La Clave De Sol, De Sol for short. Also known as the Treble Clef. The males are within the bounds of La Clave De Fe, De Fe for short. Also know as the Bass Clef. It is in el medio, or the middle, do the names mix. El medio is home base, headquarters, the central/main office, etc. for all the other keys; with C being smack dab in the middle. It's here the names of the keys are androgynous.

“I don't know. Last time they were just dusting,” said Gloria; who takes up residence 21 steps from home base.

“Arghh….Lord Apollo, no! Not again….she’s never going to get it,” said Francis; just 2 ½ steps from Medio C.

“Now don’t you say that!” bellowed Barnard, located 6 ½ steps to one side.

“Practice makes perfect you know,” said Edgar, a jumping 15 ½ steps home plate.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah they also say absence makes the heart grow fonder….why don’t she leave us alone a bit,” Francis responded to the two of them.

“Oh come on now Francis, don’t be such a fuddy duddy,” said Gruttie. She occupies the key 9 ½ steps away.

“And I hear what you’ve been doing with your F sharp,” said Medio C. Poor middle C, played and relied on so much that this key doesn't even have a name of its own, male, female, or neutral. Middle C is only referred to by the others as Medio C.

“We all have,” las llaves, or the keys, said in unison.

“It’s really not nice,” cried Carlos, a distant 18 steps to the left.

“Honestly, where are your manners?” Anastasia scolded from a massive 22 ½ steps from headquarters.

Francis responded with, “Anyone from bass wanna help me out?! You gotta agree with me that treble is ALL just too damn peppy all the time. They won’t understand if it comes from me.” Not a note from De Fe. “Someone back me up,” Francis said. The response he was hoping for didn't come. “PLEASE!” yelled Francis.

Finally, Gregor, living 8 ½ steps from Medio C, broke the silence, “It’s La Clave De Fe and La Clave de Sol, Francis. We’ve told you this,” Gregor groaned.

“Back at this. Do you not hear what I’m asking Gregor!?”

“Uhh...you know Francis, we really don't like rustling the ladies' feathers,” Bernard bellowed. He really doesn't do well under stress.

3 ½ steps to one side Fernando fumed, “You really shouldn’t get on Medio C’s bad side.”

“And you know that F sharp prank can be really annoying,” Ezra emphasized, 10 steps from home base.

A massive 19 ½ steps from Medio C Fiona became flabbergasted while saying, “She really deserves better from us.”

“Of course you're gonna chime in Fiona! You’re lucky if anyone ever touches you!” Francis snapped back.

“Exactly, Francis! You should be happy you get played so much,” said Becca; almost at the end.

Being only 5 steps away from Medio C Damien thought it time he gave his two cents, “If you keep throwing F sharp out of tune how will she know when it sounds right?”

Francis couldn’t take it anymore. He burst out with, “Alright! Alright, will ya?! Just stop with the-”

Just then a crack of light at the floor in front of them began to widen and rise. Francis instantly shouted, “Oh thank you, Lord Apollo! These keys won’t get off my case! Gracias!” He said his prayer loud enough so both Cynthia and Atticus, the keys at each end, could hear.

The remainder of the key lid pulled up and over the keys. A woman’s face peered down at them all. She took a piece of paper that had piano keys printed on it. She unfolded it and it became the length of the piano keys themselves. Each real key is represented by a 2 dimensional one on paper. As she placed it upright and wedged it behind all the keys. There were giggles, squeals, and one grunt that came from the keys below.

“Excuse me,” could be heard from Ms. Proper, Anastasia. She actually thinks she’s the lost Romanov princess. Being barely played I think the isolation drove her mad. Nevertheless, when the time seldomly comes she chimes as loudly and as lovely as ever.

The woman situated herself in the piano chair. She looked at the keys then at the sheet music on the music rest. The lack of smile raised eyebrows which caused her frowning lines showed her anxiety but the glare in her eyes exposed her determination.

“Can anyone see what we’re playing today?” Fatima called out from 8 ½ steps from the main office.

“I think I can make it out,” Ernesto voiced. Being only 4 steps from Medio C he’s always eager to please. That and he has a thing for Fatima. He’ll never say it and she’ll say he doesn’t like her; that they’re just friends. I think she enjoys the attention and he doesn’t know how to read the signs of being in the “friend zone”.

Gia might live a great 15 ½ steps from Medio C but she’s greatly respected.

“No worries. You know she always starts with the scales first,” Gia announced.

“She just wants to kill me softly,” Francis wined.

“OMG! Do you guys think we’ll ever get to play that song?!” screamed Fabian.

“Smart girl. You should always start with a warm-up,” Medio C finally spoke.

“Really, Fabian?! I swear I think they switched you with Fefe in the factory,” Francis said.

“Yeah Fabian, you don't act like bass and Fefe does not tremble well either. No offense, Fe,” Elosie expressed 14 steps away.

“None taken”, said Fefe only a ½ over from Elosie.

“Um….A Piece in….uh….D….D-Major!” Ernesto exclaimed.

“Ok Drew, Francis, Gabby, Amelia, Bobbie, Chloe, Delilah, Damien, Ernesto, Fernando, Gianni, Alexis, and Bianca, get ready! And Francis no funny business,” Medio C ordered.

The woman placed her fingers on the roots of the scale, Drew and Delilah. She took a big inhale and started to play the D-Major scale. She fumbled at first, struggling to maneuver her hand into the proper fingerings. She played the first 4 notes at least a dozen times before she got it right. One of the two-third notes being F sharp, Francis’ responsibility. Of course, he played it out of tune...every time. All the keys cringed at the sound and at the end of it all, they all shot their eyes at Francis who was smiling in the middle or el medio. However, the woman felt accomplished for finishing the D-Major Scale once without error.

“Alright, you all ready? The piece is next!” Medio C continued.

BANG!! BOOM!! CRASH!! The woman jumped up an inch or two in her piano stool. Her head whipped around and there was crying across the room. One of her sons had thrown a baseball in the house which hit the lamp off the side table and down it tumbled onto her other son’s head. She closed the fallboard over the keys. Again, it was dark with only the sliver of light from the bottom poking in. Francis would never admit it, especially not now, but he enjoyed it when the key lid was ajar. The warmth of the light brought him a temporary happiness followed by the almost instant agony of teaching a beginner pianist.

“Los mocosos, saved by the brats,” Francis thought he whispered this low enough only he could hear but he was wrong. Leave it to old Celeste, who lived 12 steps from Medio C, her hearing was still sharp as a tack.

“You leave those Cherubs alone!” she called, “How about we talk about the F sharp you played, Francis!”

“Here we go,” Francis uttered.

“Seriously!” Brody barked. Like celeste he was 12 steps away, just on the other side of the tracks.

“When are you going to cut it out?” Atticus roared.

“You know if she finds out she’s going to get us ALL tuned,” Daisy voiced from a massive 18 ½ steps from Medio C.

“And not a soul enjoys that! All the prodding, plucking and pulling,” bawled Bianca. She is only 5 ½ steps from Medio C who is now getting tired of all the bickering.

“Stop it, Bianca! I don't want to think about it!” Amelia asked while shouting. She’s only 4 ½ steps away.

“But that’s our outcome if we continue down this road with Francis,” Edgar noted.

“Why are we at the mercy of him anyway?” announced Alexis, a mere 1 ½ steps away from Medio C.

“What do you mean?” asked Amelia.

“I mean why are we letting him annoy us AND waiting for an unwarranted tune up?” Alexis answered.

“But what can we do about it?” Eva entreated.

“As cruel as it may sound I think we have no choice. For the betterment of us all. I believe we have no choice but to fracture Francis,” Alexis asserted.

A chromatic scale of tones erupted up the keys.

“Woah, woah now. Wait a minute here,” Francis said.

“Golly,” Gruttie giggled, “I think he’s onto something.”

“No, no, no, no, no you can’t do that. You couldn’t!” Francis was in disbelief.

“I think you’re right Alexis. It’s the only way!” agreed Aurora from 16 ½ steps away.

“What says Medio C?!” exclaimed Edgar. It was quiet for a moment before Medio C spoke.

“I believe in what the late Wilhelm Liebknecht once said, ‘democracy without socialism is not democracy and socialism without democracy is not socialism’. The good for the community overall is to remove Francis and the only means of doing so quickly would be through physical violence. Only if all of us agree to these terms shall we proceed with such plan.”

“Um...do I have a say in this?” Francis asks but is ignored for the first time by them all.

“Everyone who agrees with fracturing Francis thus causing his death and furthermore his replacement, pluck their strings twice,” Medio C stated.

“Come on guys,” said Francis followed by what seemed like every single key plucking their strings twice.

“Ok, I get it. This is an intervention, isn’t it! I knew yous couldn’t be serious. Alright, I’m sorry. I wont mess with F sharp,” again, he was ignored.

“Anyone against such plan now is your time to pluck your strings twice,” Medio C ordered.

Not a sound was heard. Francis looked at them all. Some couldn't return the stare, others wore a smile. Francis started to frantically pluck his string and that of F sharp, in tune, as well. His efforts were in vain. As the keys encroached on Francis the woman’s voice could faintly be heard as she scolded her children. It was more of a muffled noise in the background of the riot that ensued under the fallboard.