Lonely Days

Like all teens I had my good days and my bad days. Being diagnosed with severe depression after having multiple friends and family pass, not having much of a relationship with my immediate family, feeling left out and distant; I had to find some way to cope. While yes, I do have music that I listened to when I was upset, I never really had much of a set genre that I listened to. My tastes ranged for different reasons. Being a very sentimental person and often being interested in things before my time, my playlists were very strange to people around my age. But still, I hope that someone can find it comforting.

Haven’t Met You Yet – Michael Bublé

So, this song was something I listened to because I felt very lonely. I saw my parents fighting all the time and eventually divorce, I watched other family members get their hearts broken a lot, I was always told I was ugly and that nobody would want me. I was young, did not really date, did not really think about it honestly. But listening to this song reminded me that there is someone out there. And that one day I would finally meet them. I told myself I would make sure to do whatever I could to keep them happy and I would not go through what I had always watched.

Pain – Three Days Grace

There was a time when I used to cut. As much as I hate to admit it, I was at an exceptionally low point in my life. This song kept me from doing so. Because I always felt blank and hollow, that was a way to feel something since I could not feel any emotion. This song brought out those emotions for me, allowed me to cry, and think about what I was doing. This was one of the songs that started my healing process.

Take Me There- “The Rugrats Movie” Soundtrack

Okay, so this one is more for sentimental reasons. My older brother had just left for college and gave me the rugrats cd. Rugrats was also one of my favorite shows when I was younger. I remember listening to the whole cd repeatedly. Anytime I cried (which was typically at night when everyone went to bed) id grab my cd player and it would help me. Let’s just say that I missed my big brother a lot, and after he was gone things changed in the house. This song especially helped me to lift my spirits. I was so proud of him for going after what he wanted.

I’ll Be Seeing You – Billie Holiday

Remember how I said I was always interested in things before my time? Billie Holiday’s rendition of “I’ll Be Seeing You” was one of my favorites. Her voice was always very calming for me.

The Way You Look Tonight- Frank Sinatra

Frank Sinatra is one of my favorites. I have no other explanation for this. Not only am I a hopeless romantic but I am also obsessed with Christmas. He tied both of those in for me. Like said before, I have always felt very lonely, very unlovable. Sinatra’s voice always made me think of the holidays (do not ask lol) and the way he sang always put me in a good mood. I still listen to him to this day when I feel sad.

Blue Christmas – Elvis Presley

Again, another sentimental song. And the fact that it involves Christmas was the icing on the cake. Growing up my father was a big Elvis fan and had an Elvis tree ornament that played this song. We had a tornado destroy our home and that ornament was one of the first things I saw after it was over. While at points I did not feel extremely close to my father this song always reminds me of the good times we had around the holidays in the old house.

Im Yours – Jason Mraz

This song was something I sang to get a contract. (It was some modeling and talent agency that had set up in the middle of the mall to find new people). Nothing big, I did not get to do much with my contract because I never had much confidence in myself when it came to everything. And honestly, I had not practiced this song, I just blanked out and could not remember what I had wanted to sing, it was my turn to go up and I sang this acapella. Next thing you know I get my photos in the mail and a letter saying I had a great voice and that they would love to have me. This song became a good memory for me.

Fly With Me – Jonas Brothers

So not particularly this song specifically, but I really do enjoy this song. Anything by the Jonas Brothers was something I enjoyed. I had a crush on Nick. Loved his voice. Their music always gave me a boost of energy.

Unsteady – X Ambassadors

This song is self-explanatory. It did not come out until a few years after I graduated from high school, but it made me think a lot about when I was growing up. Watching my parents fight all the time, going to the hospital and being told that everything was my fault. I felt very isolated. This song expressed that for me in a way. At least my interpretation of it.

Keep Your Head Up – Andy Grammar

A song that reminded me to keep going. My Great Grandmother had passed not long before this song came out. She always told me to keep going, so this song helped a lot.

Any Instrumental Music

Instrumentals always gave me a way to clear my head. If I did not want to think or pay attention to something but I wanted background noise I would put on 101.1 on the radio. Id read to it, fall asleep to it, do my homework to it. My music teachers, mainly one from intermediate school, showed me how to see the music, for lack of better words. If I closed my eyes, I always saw a little picture show in my head. Different colors and characters. Its very relaxing.