Jazmin Bean "Worldwide Torture" Album Review

So I’m an American, unfortunately, and so when I saw Jazmin’s album dropped I was hella confused. I was like, “Um why you releasing it now, ain’t it suppose to be tomorrow?” But then I remembered they are British, and I’m stupid.

But ok here we go. Worldwide Torture is here. Honestly when Jazmin announced the album and gave us the tracklist I had two reactions. My first was, “Hell yeah! Give us everything queen!” and then my second reaction was, “Wait...half these songs we already heard…” I mean a few people I saw on Twitter were disappointed that some of these songs are a year old, but like for being their first project, I don’t mind. Could be more exciting with more new songs, but it’s all good. But I am mad that Birthday Bitch ain’t on here. Like Jazmin? You didn’t add my anthem to the album? Rude but ok.

Alright enough with the shenanigans. I’m gonna go through track by track of Worldwide Torture. So let’s just get into this slaughterhouse painted with glitter. That how their music is to me and... yeah. Let’s go!

Track 1: Worldwide Torture

Of course, their first-ever song is the first track and the title of the album. I think it’s kind of special because the first song ever by Jazmin on their first album? That’s just so sweet to me and makes me giddy and I don’t know why haha. On to the song itself, I love it. It’s a classic and a great opener for listeners who may have never heard of Jazmin music before and stumbled upon the album. It immerses us into this cute world of pastels and glitter that is twisted and bloody. That’s just the vibe I get. I also love how it keeps going back and forth between soft and hard. The verses are gentle and sweet, making the guitar in the chorus hit hard. Also, I just love Jazmin’s voice, because their voice is so sweet and sugary, but they are singing lines like “I’m a nasty little cunt, Break your teeth and break your heart,” and it’s such a great juxtaposition. I mean Jazmin’s whole style is blending the sweet and sugary elements of pop with like rock and metal, and I love it. I love this twisted innocence and how like it’s a teddy bear that will stab you ya know? I’m sorry this is already all over the place, but overall, a great song.

9/10

Track 2: Saccharine

Saccharine. What can I say about this song? Well, firstly this is my go-to song when I start having a crush. I mean it perfectly encapsulates the feeling of liking someone but hating it because then you start thinking about them all the time and get the lovebug, and you just wish to hate them before they break your heart. It’s such a cute song, but the lyrics again are so aggressive and I love it. Then the chorus, oh my God, it’s fantastic. I love how it slows down and strips back the instrumentals so we can focus on Jazmin’s voice and the lyrics. Speaking of lyrics I like them a lot. My favorite is probably “My dentist looked fucking disgusted, Fainted blackout on the floor, Solicited of my cavities you caused’ cause I adore you” It paints out how this crush is very sweet but is also destroying Jazmin inside out. I enjoy this song, but I would say it’s one of the weaker tracks on this album. It doesn’t quite stick out much, but it’s still a good song.

8/10

Track 3: Yandere

Next, we have Yandere, and first I love how it follows right after Saccharine. It’s such a perfect placement and is like what happened after developing that crush. Yandere is so good. I love Jazmin’s vocals on this track. This track showcases their growth vocally rise and they sound more confident on this track with singing. I love the improvement. Jazmin also pulls off the Yandere concept well. I mean it’s a cute song but with sinister undertones, and I’m gonna say it this is the Yandere anthem. Ok? Ok. Now the one thing I don’t really like is that once the chorus comes in the second time, the rest of the song is just the chorus. For the last minute and a half, it’s just the chorus repeated over and over and over again. I mean like the lyrics are good, but I wish it wasn’t repeated until the end and we got something different for the bridge. The song as a whole is nice, but yeah could have used some more work with the lyrics.

8/10

Track 4: Monster Truck Ft. Zheani

Ok, onto Monster Truck. First, this song is a mess but in the best way possible. There are a lot of elements in this song, with the instrumental going crazy and the vocals going from cute chanting to screaming and like I’m here for it. This is the song for bad bitches only ok? Ok. Sorry, I’m kind of geeking over this album, but so far it’s good, and Monster Truck is hella good. Like Monster Truck was a weird listen at first, but now it’s probably one of my favorites on the album. It’s so interesting. From the production to the lyrics, it’s quite engaging. Like the line, “I don’t wanna eat the sun.” I have no clue what that means. I’m guessing Zheani and Jazmin are nightcrawlers, I’m not sure, but that line is so interesting because of how ambiguous it is. Then let’s get to the collab. I have never heard of Zheani before, but after this song, I need to check them out. Jazmin and Zheani pair each other so well, and it’s a great collab. Also, this song is like 4 minutes long but goes by so fast. That’s when you know a song is good when it only lasts a second.

10/10

Track 5: Princess Castle Ft. Cottontail

Princess Castle is so magical. Like I want to get my princess gown on and my crown, and go out and beat up the boys who played with my heart. That’s how it makes me feel. I’m ready to fight someone in my princess gown and get bloody. Ok, let’s try to calm ourselves and talk about the musicality, which is great. I don’t know how to describe this song though? I mean it’s so pretty and gentle, and then the chorus instrumental is a banger! A banger! Also, I love the use of voices in the instrumental. There’s breathing and whispering and “ah-ah” in the layering and it makes the song 10x more magical. I feel like I’m floating. Then the little details like the sound of the knife when cottontail says “knife” is fantastic. This track is quite puzzling to me because of how many little details there are in this amazing track, and it’s a banger of a track. A banger!

9/10

Track 6: War Zone Urchin

Here we go. Another messy song with so many elements that it should be terrible, but is amazing. War Zone Urchin is one of the best songs on the album. I mean it’s a rollercoaster. We go soft and slow to heavy and fast. We go from playing in the flowery garden to fist fighting with a demon in a second. Like jumping from one extreme to another extreme in a split second shouldn’t work but it works! It makes this song so fun and interesting, and I love the juxtaposition of these slower and softer parts with these heavier parts. Plus with all these elements, the song feels like it’s a minute but nope it’s approximately 4 minutes and 4 seconds long. Like do you know how good a song is for it being 4 minutes but feeling like a minute song? Overall War Zone Urchin is that bitch!

10/10

Track 7: B4 The Flight

Alright. I cried to this song. It hit a bit too close to home and was overwhelming with emotion. Jazmin is just so raw on this track, and the end where you hear their voice breaking a little is so devastating. The vocals are in such a pure form that it amplifies the song more. This song is overflowing with emotion and I can feel pieces of desperation in it. Then the lyrics are just pure feelings. Like the lines “If I’m not the special one then why was I one at all.” and “I’m choking on my airplane food. It’s all spilling right out for you.” hit me. Then the instrumental is so beautiful, and like War Zone Urchin, B4 The Flight is a long song. B4 The Flight is 5 minutes long but feels like a minute. This is my favorite song. I mean it hurts like hell, but it’s my favorite and the best song on the album.

10/10

Track 8: Super Slaughter

Alright after spilling tears, we are now spilling blood in Super Slaughter. One of the first line is, “Momma, there’s a war outside, can I go and play in it?” and I am ready to fight now. That line is so amazing to me and powerful I feel like an empress listening to this song. It’s so full of confidence and it goes off. Like Jazmin was right when they say, “I’m just going harder,” because this song goes hard! Also, I love the fast sing-talking in the verses. It makes the song a bit more playful and conveys this cockiness. I just feel like a badass and again another one of my faves.

10/10

Track 9: I’m a Slave 4 U

Ok, Jazmin how dare you! You already got 3 songs in a row that’s 10/10, and here ya go again. Another banger. When the song started, I was like “Ok it’s alright. A little bop. A cute little cover,” but I was not at all prepared for the drop. Nothing could have prepared me for the drop. Like I was nodding my head, and then the instrumental get’s slower and focuses a bit more on Jazmin vocals, and then we get this instrumental that electrified my body. It was so overwhelming and my jaw literally dropped. Jazmin made this song their own and painted in their colors. And sorry to Britney fans, but this is better than the original. Now if I’m dead in the next few days, the Britney fans did it. But yeah, what a banger!

10/10

Track 10: Hello Kitty

Alright, now the streak is over. We are onto Hello Kitty. Unpopular opinion, but when Hello Kitty was first released I wasn’t a fan of it. Now it’s been a year, and Hello Kitty grew on me, but compared to the rest of the album, Hello Kitty is ok. My favorite part is when it slows down at like 1:05 and we focus on Jazmin’s voice. Plus that portion has some of my favorite lyrics in the song. My favorite lyric is “I know no matter who abandons me she’ll be there till the end,” I don’t know why that line stuck with me so much. The rest of the song is cute and ok. Hello Kitty is a good song, but not one of my favorites.

8/10

Track 11: Little Lamb

Last track, Little Lamb. Again this song hit a little too close to home. The lines that stuck with me the most is “I’m sorry I cried, can’t help it half the time” and “I’ll rip my stuffing out and I will cry for you to put it back,” and “I’m scared that you will leave, so I’ll keep pulling at your sleeve, Or maybe I’ll push you so hard away you’ll be so far from me,” Those lines I resonated a lot with and this song hurts. It’s beautiful, but it hurts. Then I love Jazmin vocals on it. This is a beautiful song, and I think it’s an amazing closer to an amazing album.

10/10

In the end, Jazmin did that! I mean I was fist fighting with the air for some tracks, and others I was sobbing, but overall what a great album. Honestly, this is probably one of my favorite albums that came out this year. Every song was so strong and interesting, and this album is quite cohesive and a fun rollercoaster. Worldwide Tortute might even be one of my favorite albums of all time. I don’t know what future me will think, but present me is obsessed with this album, and great job Jazmin. You did that! Queen shit! Period!

Worldwide Tortue - 9/10

Song Ranking:

1. B4 The Flight

2. Little Lamb

3. Super Slaughter

4. Monster Truck Ft. Zheani

5. War Zone Urchin

6. I’m A Slave 4 U

7. Princess Castle Ft. Cottontail

8. World Wide Torture

9. Saccharine

10. Yandere

11. Hello Kitty

Thank you for reading. I appreciate every read and tip I receive! If you enjoyed this review check out my other reviews like my Johnny Goth review. Hope you’re having a good day, and if not I hope it becomes a better one.

Bye-Bye!