I held Holly's hand as we waited outside the hotel for Jack and Sarah I was nervous I looked down at Holly she was excited she loved the zoo as she loved animals Marie had been happy for me to take Holly with me as she knew it would help me be more comfortable with going out with Jack and Marie was even more happy to have some alone time with Trevor for the first time in quite a long time Marie and Trevor didn't like to go out and leave Holly as they adored her, I saw Jack and Sarah approaching and I started to feel sick was this mistake.
At the zoo Holly and Sarah chatted away like old friends 'looks like Holly not shy' 'no she not' 'that is good Sarah was a little nervous the morning she has kind of kept to herself alot since her mum left' 'Sarah is a lovely girl' 'so is Holly' Jack reached for my hand but I pulled away 'I was just going to hold your hand Lily 'sorry I don't want you to get the wrong idea we are just friends Jack' I kept walking 'Lily' 'we need to keep up with the girls' I didn't look back at Jack. I felt awful Jack had looked so hurt when I had pulled my hand away from his I hadn't wanted Jack to get the wrong idea as a relationship at this time wasn't in the cards for me I wasn't ready for another relationship right now.
When we were exiting the zoo Sarah tugged on Jack's arm 'can Holly come play at our house please' Jack looked over at me 'we could have lunch at my place' I looked down at Holly 'please' I couldn't say no 'lunch sounds nice' both girls cheered and Jack smiled at me. Jack's house was a cozy little place with a small yard which Holly and Sarah out playing in I followed Jack into the kitchen 'can I help?' 'sure, I am going to make some sandwiches do want to help cut up some salad stuff' Jack placed a chopping board and knife on the bench for me. I started to chop the tomatoes 'do you want thin slices?' 'here let me' Jack came up behind me I flinched and nipped my finger with the knife 'dam it' 'oh my god Lily let me see' Jack went to grab my hand 'don't touch me' I moved away 'Lily' my back was to Jack 'I am sorry I can't do this I thought I could' 'do what?' 'I told you I just come out of a bad relationship' 'yes' 'my ex Logan cheated on me and when I ended things he beat me pretty bad' 'oh my god' 'I can't seem to relax around males' 'Lily I am not going to hurt you please let me look at your finger' I slowly turned and looked at Jack his soft blue eyes were filled with concern I held my hand out 'it is just a nip' the moment my hand was in Jack's I felt a warm feeling come over me 'let's clean it and band aid it' 'ok' Jack lend me over to the sink never letting go of my hand. Jack's touch was so gentle 'there all done' Jack went to pulled his hand away but I grabbed hold of it 'Lily' 'thank you' 'it is just a band aid' 'no your touch is gentle and I feel safe with you so thank you' Jack pulled me closer 'can I kiss you Lily?' 'yes' Jack gently pulled me against him he hesitated I knew he was waiting for me I brushed my lips gently against his I felt his arms go around me and his lips were warm against mine 'daddy' we pulled apart as the girls came back into the house 'in the kitchen sweetie' Holly and Sarah came running in 'we're hungry' 'sandwiches are almost ready' Jack smiled at me and I couldn't help but smile back at him.
I had no idea what I had been thinking kissing Jack it wasn't a good idea getting involved with anyone as a relationship wasn't right for me just yet but Jack's touch had been I can't explain it but i had never felt anything like that, with everything that had happened with Logan I wasn't ready for a relationship I didn't want to hurt Jack but either way I think I would hurt him. I was packing my bag when Marie came in 'you're running what happened?' 'I kissed Jack' 'you did' 'I can't do this Marie I am going to hurt him' 'you don't know that Lily' 'yes I do I am not ready for another relationship the emotional state I am in I will hurt him' 'calm down and just tell me what happened' I sat down on the bed and told Marie the whole story.
Jack walked into the hotel Lily was staying in 'hey Jack' 'hey' 'if you are looking for Lily she has checked out' 'what? she wasn't leaving for another week' 'she left you this' the receptionist an envelope 'thanks' Jack took it and walked out. Jack sat on the park bench and opened the envelope it was a letter and it read like this:
I am writing this letter because I wouldn't have the strength to walk away from you I have fallen for you hard and I didn't think I could so soon after what happened with Logan, I am not doing this to hurt you I know if we started anything right now I would ended up hurting you really bad. My emotional state is too fragile to start relationship right now I am going far away to heal please don't look for me I need this space to heal I need you to understand and wait for me I promise I will return to you soon.
Love Lily x
Jack held Lily's letter in his hand he wanted to understand but all he could think was another one that has left him, he scrunched up the letter and threw it in the bin. By the time Jack had walked to pick up Sarah from his parents place he was a lot calmer Sarah was the most important person to him in the world and that was what he had to focus on, Jack smiled when Sarah came running out to greet him with the biggest smile on her face. As the weeks passed Jack focused all his energy on his daughter and work promising himself he was not going to think about Lily but it was still in the back of his head. Jack had just put Sarah to bed when there was a knock on his door Jack wondered who that could be at this hour when Jack opened the door he found Lily standing there 'hi' Jack just stared 'I know it is late but I thought Sarah would be in bed now and I wouldn't be disrupting your nightly routine' 'yeah' 'can I come in?' 'yes come in' Jack stepped aside to let Lily in. Jack closed the door and just stood looking at Lily she looked good 'Jack' 'you came back' 'I promised I would I am sorry about the way I left I know it has been a month but I needed the time to heal' 'why did you come back?' 'because I am ready to move forward with my life' 'Lily you been gone for a month and you think you can waltz back in here how do I know you won't walk out again I have Sarah to think of' 'I won't walk away again because I love you' 'you what?' 'I have loved you since the first night I saw you on that frozen lake when I was lighting my smoke and you yelled at me by the way I given them up' Jack didn't say anything 'Jack I understand if you don't feel the same way after what I did' Jake still didn't say anything 'I hurt you I'm sorry maybe I should go' I moved towards the door. Jack shook himself out of his daze 'don't go' I stopped 'I love you Lily please don't leave me again' 'I am not going anywhere I promise' 'don't break my heart or my daughters' 'I won't' Jack held out his hands 'come' I went into Jack's open arms. I had never felt love at first sight until I met Jack the fragile emotional state I had been in had clouded it but now I was seeing clear as I watched Jack running around the backyard with Sarah I knew I was home Jack looked over at me 'what are you doing?' 'just having a good stare' 'you going play with us' 'yes Lily come play with us' Sarah clapped her hands 'love to' Jack threw the ball at me I smiled and ran over to join them my heart was full and I was home.