I've Aged, but My Taste in Music Hasn't

There's a scene in New Girl where Nick Miller (played by the criminally underrated, Jake Johnson) says "I like getting older. I feel like I'm finally aging into my personality." I have never related to anything more than I've related to that line.

By the time I hit 18, I was ready for bed. Literally. Most people go into their college years, do the Buffalo Shuffle, watch their Thirsty Thursdays become Thirsty Everydays, and still somehow manage to make it to their 8am after puking in the trashcan on the way in. That wasn't me (was that me after graduation? Yes). I was more often than not actually writing my papers, tutoring my peers on the symbolism found in children's literature, or binge watching CSI until a reasonable sleeping hour arrived.

Don't get me wrong, I went through the angsty teen years just like everyone else. Whenever I'd get into an argument with my dad, I'd throw a burnt CD into my Sony and walk around the neighborhood to my soundtrack of Dashboard Confessional, My Chemical Romance, and Taking Back Sunday. Oh, the number of times I recreated Simple Plan's "Perfect" music video in the shower is embarrassing. Truly.

After a few years of making life truly Hell for those who loved me, I finally snapped out of it and became what some would call an "adult." I got married to someone my parents actually love, I've got a good job, a house, way too many animals, and the bills are paid. I give presentations to board members now and get more excited about going grocery shopping instead of to a club. Our pantries are organized and I know how to do basic home repairs. I have officially aged into my personality.

Except for one teeny tiny thing.

I still go hard for the emo music of my misspent youth. And not ironically. I legit genuinely enjoy listening to those tunes nearly two decades later.

Sure, my taste in music has grown and evolved over time as made crystal clear by the thousands upon thousands of songs in my Spotify library. I've expanded my musical horizons to include genres I didn't even know existed, and some I'm still uncertain as to whether they're real or not. I've got playlists for specific activities (going to the gym, feeling happy, cleaning) and playlists to get myself pumped up (don't we all?). Through every single playlist lies a common thread: There will be at least one emo song.

At first, I attempted to hide these angsty nuggets deep within the bowels of these playlists. You'd have to listen through hours of a carefully curated library before being hit with some nasally aggression. It was easy to miss if you weren't paying all that much attention. Sure, there were a couple playlists that catered specifically to these early 2000's wonders, but everyone and their mother has a #throwbacks playlist. These weren't throwbacks for me; these were, and remain still to this day, songs in my everyday rotation.

It wasn't until I went to my first Simple Plan concert that I realized I wasn't the only one still embracing these spikey-haired miscreants. As if I weren't already feeling my age when I lamented about the show's late start time, my wife and I were going to their sold-out 15th anniversary show of their debut album, No Pads, No Helmets... Just Balls. They would be playing the entire album with some bonus tracks thrown in and I was stoked. Every single song played such a vital role in my middle and high school years. I even wore out the DVD of the documentary they created about the recording process, A Small Package for You.

And that show was everything I could have ever wanted it to be. Hearing the crowd scream along to every word, the palpable emotion felt when they played "Perfect," the energy and atmosphere that finally made me feel like I found my place. This was it.

After that show, I threw any ounce of shame associated with my music taste out the window. I didn't give a shit if someone judged me for being stuck in 2002. These songs continue to bring me joy and remind me of a time when things were simpler. A time where the only thing I had to worry about was which Role Model shirt to buy at Hot Topic with my allowance. A time where I would stay up too late with my friends and go home knowing that we'd do it all over again tomorrow.

Being an "adult" brings with it a slew of responsibilities and stressors, so it only makes sense that someone would want to keep a hold on anything that reminds them of good memories and even better human connections.

So, yes, I will always sneak at least one or two emo songs into any playlist I make and, no, I'm not ashamed of it.

Now, please excuse me as I lace up my Vans and go run errands. You can bet your ass I'll be the one bumping A Day to Remember at the stoplight.