Hit me where it Hurts

“They say dreaming is free, but I wouldn’t care what it cost me.”

- 26, Paramore

Far too many times in my life I have made the easy, safe choice. I’ve been trying recently to chase after what I want with both hands. So far, I think I’ve only managed halfway. Sometimes I wonder why so many well-off people seem so miserable and I’m beginning to believe it is because we have too much to lose to put everything we have into something we don’t.

“Remind me who I am when I forget who you are.”

- Aquafina, WHATUPRG

I believe the author is referring to God as the “you,” but I didn’t realize that when I first heard it and thought it was referring to a friend that had known author before he changed into a person he didn’t want to be. There have been a few moments in my life where I have done things, I am not proud of. I am grateful for my awesome friends who not only stand by my side through the tough situation, but also call me out for it when I have done something wrong.

“I should have known better than to cheat a friend and waste the chance that I’d been given.”

- Careless Whisper, George Michael

This was the first time I heard a lover described as a friend and it changed my view on both friendship and romantic relationships. I think as a woman growing up in the United States and maybe a lot of the rest of the world, the main life goal portrayed in the media is almost always marriage or a boyfriend. These lyrics were what first made me look at my friends and my siblings and parents and think “I never want to waste an opportunity when they have reserved their time to spend on me.” I hope everyone else had that revelation earlier than I did because that didn’t hit me until I was at least 20. It also made me realize that relationships aren’t suppose to be all drama as viewed in the media. They are meant to make you feel safe and they should be with people I can communicate with and laugh with and eat with and speak the truth to-like friends!

“We don’t say good luck. We say don’t give up.”

- The Fire, The Roots and John Legend

I listen to this when I need a kick in the ass. Whether I am studying for a difficult exam and am on my tea break or in the middle of a long run. It helps to remind me that the results are on me. How hard I am working now, all the practice and prep work I do is what will get me where I want to be. If I fail? All I need to do is persevere and I can still make it another day.

“I heard that to let your feelings show is the only way to let friendships grow but I’m too afraid now.”

- Unstoppable, Sia

I’ve been best friends with the same person since 6th grade. Even so, I remember a night after we had graduated college, we must have been 22 or so and she told me a secret about herself. Something I had never known and wouldn’t have guessed. Then I shared a secret with her. A horrible memory that had been trapped inside me. We’d always had a good relationship, but our friendship grew more in that one night than it had in years. I think these lyrics are especially important in the context of the rest of the song where she says she puts her armor on to show how strong and confident she is. I think the number one recommended quality for drawing people to you is confidence. If you are confident than no matter what happens you will be okay, you won’t be embarrassed in front of a crowd. When all a person talks about is their feelings it can get cumbersome, but I think to really be close to someone, she is right. You have to remove the armor and leave yourself vulnerable. Hopefully, by the point in time you do that, you know the person well enough to know they aren’t going to be a jerk about it.

If you want a recommendation on how to approach someone when opening up. I think bringing snacks helps any situation. The first time I said “I love you” to someone I brought a whole basket of snacks with me. Loud crunchy snacks, like chips and carrots so eating them could fill the silence afterward! Good luck!