High Hopes

Music can strike a chord on your soul at any age. It can transcend the days of darkness and forever etch in our memories the lightness of love, the days of carefree youth, and the dawn of our golden years. It can change your mood, it can set your mood, and it can record your mood. Music transports you in and out of moments in your life. It can be an anchor and it can be like a hot balloon soaring up to the clouds. It makes new memories and reinforces past ones. Music is your one true friend and also the party. It is the chameleon of life that changes tempo and beat to match its listener. Music knows no limits and transcends all ages, races, gender, and religion. It is the original equal rights opportunity. It can act as your therapist, priest, lover, and best friend. It can be the soft shoulder to cry on and the pep talk calling you out of a slump. Music is the conductor of life that transmutes the passages of time. It plays many roles in the trajectories of life. Whatever situation presents itself in life, music is there to provide the soundtrack of the time.

I found myself in what I refer to as my decade of darkness. Having reached my mid-40s, I was having what some call an existential crisis. By outside accounts, I "looked" like I had it all, family, career, house, healthy well-adjusted children, annual vacations, great husband, but something was missing. The more I searched outwardly, the more despondent I became. The saying, “Be careful what you wish for you just my get it," was on replay in my mind. Despite my accomplishments as a professional, wife, and mother, I felt empty and hopeless, questioning what the point of everything was if there was no joy. The worst part was feeling guilty for feeling unsatisfied in my life when I "should" be feeling grateful. I had more than most and I guess you can say I had first world problems. Yet, your spirit/soul knows when it's not living a life of purpose and meaning. I felt aimless, misguided and misdirected, like the road map I had been given to a happy life had all the wrong directions. What does all this have to do with music.....EVERYTHIN!. See, I was in such an isolated desolate place within myself, that I was cut off from the simple pleasures in life. Simple pleasures such as music. My husband constantly listens to music, while he cleans, does yard work, drives, and showers. It is a passion he has passed on to my son. I was so emotionally defunct that nothing seemed to touch my heart....until....que in the song that revived my soul and jump started my heart back into the land of living and meaning. That song acted as a kick start to getting my life back on track. Panic at the Disco’s, "High Hopes" is the song that sent a jolt to my heart and got me going again.

My son was in 4th grade at the time, and loved to play a game we call Radio Roulette. Each person in the car takes turns picking his/her song of choice. This is a family favorite pastime we like to do when traveling in the car. It keeps us from getting bored and engaged with each other. It's fun to see what songs each person picks. During a game of Radio Roulette, he played "High Hopes." His teacher had played this song during class. It was like a shot to my heart, revitalizing and bringing me back to life. I've had that song on repeat ever since, playing as an anthem, charging me up, reminding me of my high hopes and that "I've always had a vision."

That vision has been to start what I call a multigenerational enrichment center in my community. I have had a dream to bring an outlet for creative development and pursuits for people in the community who do not have access to such luxuries and privileges in life. These creative pursuits, whether it be art, song, dance, writing, culinary, would act as a bridge toward therapeutic counseling services to provide a springboard to real and effective changes in their lives, something that "enriches" the lives of the people in the community I live and serve. High Hopes is an anthem for that vision with line's such as, "Burn your biographies, rewrite your histories," gives incentive to anyone and everyone. This song emphasizes that no matter where you are in life you can still reach for your dreams. It spoke to my 10 year old son, and then to me, his 51 year old mother. A song that transcends all the categories that define and label us. It renewed in me my sense of purpose and the dream I've carried for a decade. The line, "It's all been done, but they haven't seen the best of me. So, I got one more run and it's gonna be a sight to see," elevates me to a reality that anything is possible no matter the age or circumstances.

At my age, I see so many middle-agers packing it in as if they have one foot in the grave already. To be honest, that was me for a period of time. This song pulled me out of that middle age mind screw and gave me a renewed sense of zest for life. It reminds me every day that I'm here to live my purpose and my dream. That purpose and dream is mine and mine alone. There is no one else to take up those reigns and do it for me. I always say that I'm gonna live at least to 100 years old. Keeping that in mind, I have a lot of living to do and things to accomplish. When one is a dreamer, life likes to test out your commitment to yourself and your dreams, and test your endurance to withstand obstacles. It's easy to get swept away in a tide of negativity and naysayers. It is songs such as this one that renew you spirit, invigorate your soul, pump positive energy into your dreams to bring it all to life. If you listen carefully, the first 4-8 bars sound similar to the Rocky Anthem. Every morning, I start my morning with a High Hopes mindset that now has me living towards fulfilling my dream of starting something to revolutionize and changes people's lives and the community. In helping others I help myself. In going after the high hopes of my life, I help others to dream for themselves and see that anything is possible. "Had (have) to have high, high hopes for the living.