Five songs for niche moods

The year is 2008.

Trump is a seemingly non threatening reality television star that you only think about when you watch Home Alone. You think a pandemic is a type of camera lens and Obama has just become the first Black President of the United States. Life is good.

Flash forward to 2021 and you unfortunately now know the difference between a panoramic and a pandemic. And even worse, in the last four years you’ve spent far more time thinking about Trump than you ever could have imagined.

In 2008, I was nearing the end of my teenage years and starting to grow out of my skinny-jean and side fringe obsession, but it wasn’t going to be as easy for me to let go of the playlist I’d spent my teenage years creating! During this time, iPods were also starting to be phased out in favour of the iPhone but I remained loyal to my iPod after they stopped being cool. This was also before we had an algorithm recommending songs for us. Once upon a time I would have spent hours researching artists or frantically googling lyrics that I’d heard in the background of an obscure television show, we’ve come a long way!

Before I became a Spotify subscriber, I paid iTunes $2 for each song. Curating a playlist was a serious task. Once a song had been purchased on your mum’s credit card without her permission, there was no going back. The good news? I still love these songs to this day. I know we are meant to be embarrassed by our teenage music taste, but this playlist is still my go-to. That’s not to say I don’t have another playlist called ‘guilty pleasures,’ which is a compilation of all my most cringe-worthy favourite tracks, but that’s for my personal enjoyment only!

The songs in my playlist span decades, genres and content matter, and the artists come from a wide range of backgrounds. However, they all have one thing in common: the songs on my playlist are all sad. What can I say, I need a melancholy tear-jerker to get me in my feels.

Picture this, you are sitting in the back seat of your parents’ car (when they could still force you to visit distant relatives) rain is drizzling lightly against the window pane and you have several hours to kill. You put on your headphones, stare out the window and listen to sad tunes while contemplating life, lost loves, unfulfilled dreams and what could have been.

Although as a teenager I hadn’t yet been heartbroken, dumped or even paid a proper bill (which we all know is even more devastating than heartbreak) these songs still resonated with me. Some may not be what you typically imagine when you think of a ‘sad’ song because as much as I adored Adele’s moving ballads, I tended to gravitate towards less obvious sad songs in my youth.

Recently, there was a debate on Tiktok as to whether or not ‘Hey Ya,’ by Outkast belonged in the “sad songs” category despite its upbeat melody. Tiktok user @elizadeva shared the theory that if you pay attention to the story and lyrics, it’s an incredibly sad song and Outkast seemingly went onto confirm this on their Twitter when they shared the following meme.

That’s the thing, there are different types of sad moods. One song is not a one mood size fits all. Which is why I’ve selected five songs from my playlist for five niche sad moods.

For when you are in a dark and depressed mood and want to stay that way.

1. Where Did you Sleep Last Night, Leadbelly, 1944.

In the pines, in the pines

Where the sun don't ever shine

I would shiver the whole night through

This haunting and dark song, also known as ‘In the Pines’, is a traditional American folk song which dates back to the 1870s. There have been many recordings of the song over the years but Black American folk and blues singer/songwriter Leadbelly’s is my favourite. He turned a once light-hearted country song into a darker, slower blues song, giving it a completely different sound and meaning.

Nirvana also deserves a nod for its stirring performance of Leadbelly’s arrangement. Kurt Cobain was known to be a fan of Leadbelly. Their version was recorded in 1993 and released in 1994, the year Kurt Cobain died and is even more meaningful upon reflection all these years later because many of his fans believe they knew he was suffering at the time due to raw emotion in his performance of the song.

There are many interpretations about the song’s meaning but the most popular theory is that a woman has an affair and her husband ends up murdered. The original song is so old and has been changed so frequently that we will likely never know the true meaning of it, but it still manages to tell a vivid story.

For when you are reflecting on past lovers.

2. Elusive, Scott Matthews, 2006

She's elusive and I'm awake

Defiantly real, there's nothing fake

A mystery now to me and you

Open my eyes and I'm next to you

She said my destiny lies in the hands that set me free

This is another song that has many interpretations. I believe the artist is singing about a past love that he couldn’t understand. He found her to be elusive and mysterious yet was captivated by her. Although she was unable to commit to him in the way he wanted, their time wasn’t wasted as she taught him valuable lessons about himself.

The song describes heartbreak but more so an understanding that you cannot own another person. After all, they do say that if you love someone, you must set them free!

For when you are feeling existential.

3. To be Alone with you, Sufjan Stevens, 2004.

You gave your body to the lonely

They took your clothes

You gave up a wife and a family

You gave your ghost

Sufjan Stevens writes emotive and beautiful songs, so many of which could be included in my playlist. He composed the songs for the ‘Call Me By Your Name’ soundtrack which was released in 2017. Had they been released prior to 2008, both ‘Mystery of Love,’ and ‘Visions of Gideon,’ would’ve made it onto my playlist.

From my understanding this song was written by Stevens about his relationship with Jesus. He sings about the sacrifices Jesus made for him and how he longs for a moment alone with Jesus when he was alive.

You do not need to be religious for the song to resonate. For many years, before properly analysing the lyrics, I thought the song was simply about wanting to be alone with someone you love. Whatever it’s about it’s deeply moving as the lyrics and melody are sung with vulnerability and highlight the frailty of being human.

For when you are sad but still want to feel hopeful.

4. Blackbird, The Beatles, 1968

Blackbird singing in the dead of night

Take these sunken eyes and learn to see

All your life, you were only waiting for this moment to be free

Even though I was not a teenager in the sixties, I’m a big Beatles fan and can appreciate this may be seen as a controversial choice for the saddest Beatles song when there are so many to choose from. ‘Yesterday’ and ‘Eleanor Rigby’ are both perfect examples of tear-jerkers, but Blackbird is considerably underrated!

At first listen, you picture a caged bird desperately yearning to be free. But Paul Mccartney wrote this song in response to the civil rights struggle in the US. He said ‘blackbird,’ is to represent ‘black girl,’ and the song is meant to be a symbol of hope for freedom. The inspiration behind the song makes it even more meaningful, particularly listening to it again in 2021. The Black Lives Matter movement shows us that the fight against injustice and oppression is far from over, and songs like this still speak volumes.

For when you need a reminder that you aren’t alone.

5. Breathe me, Sia, 2004

Help, I have done it again

I have been here many times before

Hurt myself again today

And, the worst part is there's no-one else to blame

This song was released before Sia became an international superstar and while so many of her songs are incredible, this one is my favourite.

Sia’s voice is ripe with emotion as the lyrics describe someone deeply struggling. She sings about self destructive behaviour, loneliness and how all she wants is for someone to be there for her. When I experienced tough times I found this song comforting. Perhaps it was the realisation I wasn’t alone in what I was going through. The song is gentle and Sia sings softly during the verses, which adds to the sense of fragility the character has.

Below is the full track list via Spotify. Regardless of how many years have passed, these songs stand the test of time. Grab yourself a warm beverage, wrap a shawl around your shoulders, stare pensively out the window and press play.