Eliza Doolittle Walks Like an Egyptian to Ring the Ghostbusters

Who doesn't love costumes, candy (except candy corn), trick-or-treating, and silly parties for Halloween? No one thinks you're weird when you dress like a superhero, ghost, or princess and then threaten pranks to con neighbors out of candy. Halloween is so awesome; we can twist with glee to songs like these:

I Walked Like an Egyptian

As an 80s baby, I heard "Walk Like an Egyptian" on the radio and at parties. We danced with bent arms and bent legs around the room. This would have mostly been in the 90s, so I doubt my hair and bangs added five inches to my stature like the Bangles.

Now I cringe when I see boys growing mullets and perming their hair. Must be the influence of Stranger Things. I do not want to go back to 80s hairstyles and fashion. Do you? But I am willing to walk and dress like an Egyptian on Halloween. Let's go!

Who Ya Gonna Call? Ghostbusters!

Arriving late to pick up my son from school, he had been talking to several friends. On the ride home, I asked him if he had their phone numbers in his contacts. He replied in the negative. The ancient, mean teachers have students put their phones in a box during class, so my son has no time to exchange numbers.

"Do you know your number?" I asked.

"No."

I listed off my childhood phone number and several of my childhood friends' phone numbers. My son smirked. Millennials, Gen X, and Boomers, do you remember your childhood phone number?

Do any of us know our friends' phone numbers now? No way.

So I don't think I would remember the Ghostbusters' number either. I doubt I would put them in my contacts since I haven't seen any ghosts besides the sheet and napkin kind lately.

You can look for the Ghostbusters number in this music video yourself.

The Witch or the Damsel in Distress (DID)

Disney produced princess movie after princess movie in the 90s. If you were like me, we pretended to swim like the little mermaid Ariel or fight like Mulan. Now we have children dressing as Frozen's Anna and Elsa for Halloween. There is something magical about being the hero or heroine who conquers all odds with a quirky sidekick animal.

I always wanted to play the damsel in distress in middle school and high school plays. Instead, directors cast me as the obnoxious, loud character. So for the Boo Ball my junior year, I would be a princess instead. I searched for pieces to Ariel's costume. I borrowed my mom's shirt, my friend's skirt, and sewed the vest and hairbow. And I asked a guy friend to go with me. He dressed as Prince Eric.

Unfortunately, my friends, my date, and I left the Boo Ball when we tired of the noisy, lewd songs and the crowd. We held our own dance party elsewhere. I twirled around, my borrowed light blue skirt fanning around me. My friend pulled me aside and informed me my underwear was showing. Afterward, I blushed and twirled with less enthusiasm. I hoped the guys didn't see my underwear!

At that moment, I was a poor unfortunate soul.

Honestly, the sea witch Ursula matches my personality better than Ariel, which is why I always landed the loud, quirky roles. Who cares? The princess is usually so predictable and boring. In fact, I remember Ursula's "A Poor Unfortunate Soul" better than any of Ariel's songs. I belt it out to my children when they complain. I truly am a mean mom. Or maybe a witch!

A Vengeful Miss Doolittle

My sisters, mom, and I watched "My Fair Lady" dozens of times. I related to a crass girl wanting to be the prim and proper lady. But some of my favorite parts are: "Come on Dover! Move your bloomin' ass!" and "Just you wait, Henry Higgins."

My older sister constructed a similar gown to the ball scene in her high school sewing class. I kept that dress and decorated it with beading. And hemmed it six inches since my sister is much taller than me. For my first prom, I wore the creamy flowing gown.

But deep inside, I hungered for revenge! Well, not really revenge, but I was a little disappointed that the guy who took me to prom had a girlfriend.

In the spirit of revenge, I present "Just You Wait":