Buck Moon Musings

As I am sure some of my fellow selenophiles know, tonight marks the first night of the Buck Moon.

She gets her name from coinciding with the time of year that bucks are in full growth mode, shedding their antlers to make way for more impressive ones.

In the spirit of celebrating this regrowth, indulge me and read about all the reasons why I think ‘Unknown/Nth’ by Hozier is the soundtrack you need to shed the memories that don’t serve you anymore.

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The thing that keeps drawing me into this song is the incredible imagery that he paints for us in each verse. Like we are reliving the suffering on each level of this heartbreak. Reviving some of the most insidious moments experienced by this couple.

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Call me morbid, but people's retelling of their darkest moments are fascinating.

Especially when it produces art.

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"You know the distance never made a difference to me

I swam a lake of fire, I'd have walked across the floor of any sea

Ignored the vastness between all that can be seen

And all that we believe

So I thought you were like an angel to me"

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The first verse allows us into the great sacrifices he would have made in the name of love, with the belief that this would have been reciprocated by the pure intentions of the other.

Though this is on the surface noble and romantic, the language is peppered with guilt of ‘ignoring’ the signs that were obviously leading to the later betrayal… Reflecting on the memories when the other was believed to be an angel.

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"Funny how true colors shine in darkness and in secrecy

If there were scarlet flags, they washed out in the mind of mе

Where a blindin' light shone on you еvery night

And either side of my sleep

Where you were held frozen like an angel to me"

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Foreshadowing this change in beliefs, the second verse is beginning to house blame with the deceiver by recognising that the red flags belonged to them and were somewhat obvious.

Though this is short-lived as the guilt creeps in again for holding her on a pedestal built in his own mind to keep his worship of her justified.

More interestingly, we see the theme being built of Dante’s depiction of the ninth circle of hell and it's correlation to his view on love.

The mournful beauty of this likeness to confronting heartbreak, and navigating the confusing revelations it tortures you with, is inspired.

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A painful recollection of the memories you shared are often housed inside a seemingly endless pit and, much like the story Dante told, you have to reach the bottom and experience each level of your emotions before you find relief.

This is most evident in the slight reworkings of the end of each verse, going from the belief in your partner’s angelic nature, to questioning whether you ever really saw it at all.

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Buckle up for the bridge, because it’s a rough one if the edges of your emotions are already frayed…

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"Do you know I could break beneath the weight?

Of the goodness, love, I still carry for you

That I'd walk so far just to take

The injury of finally knowin' you"

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This confession of the subject admitting that the love he had is still there, as well as his devotion to believing who he thought he knew was still worth the sacrifice, further quantifies the potency his love has.

That this final injury could be fatal, but a risk he is willing to take to prove to himself that she was worth loving so hard all this time. That what he believed about her could be salvaged.

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Feeling unknown to the person you love most in this world can be the greatest feeling of betrayal in itself.

The anguish then isn’t caused by the actions of them, it’s the confusion of not knowing where all of it went wrong and no longer having access to the person you fell so hard for…

because they no longer exist.

With that being said, the real crime is allowing yourself to become blind to your own light. No betrayal is worse than allowing yourself to become your own tormenter, wilfully reliving what brought you this pain.

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I purposefully left out parts of the song from my article so you could explore its themes yourself and derive your own opinions and apply them to your experiences.

Not all is lost in heartbreak.

Love fucking hurts... But what would human experience be without it?

Heartbreak gives birth to art like this, and someday you will be lucky enough to experience it without pain.

After all, a wise man once sang

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“There are some people, love, who are better unknown.”

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LB xo