Being a Musician Is Hard

Being a musician is one of those hard things to do that nobody outside of your field understands. As a musician, seriously putting time into your craft, you start to notice that you pull away from certain friendships. Family members give you crap because they don’t see why you’d rather put faith in something unstable rather than focus on getting a job you hate. Relationships tend to go sour really fast with the wrong people.

It doesn’t matter how many times I apologize to my friends, they still get mad at me when I forget that I’m supposed to go somewhere with them. They ask to see me multiple times a month and sometimes it overlaps with what I’m doing. I ask them to come with me to the studio, to a show, to a photo shoot, to the park while I write songs to make up for it, but they don’t feel comfortable in those situations. How can we bridge the gap if they don’t feel comfortable in this part of my life? Truth is we can’t.

Don’t get me wrong, my friends are and always will be my friends. I give them the time I can make for them happily. However, the problems rise when they start to think that we as musicians are trying to convert them into fans. Friends are here for you. Oftentimes that doesn’t translate to being a fan and that’s fine because not all fans can be friends either. Make sure your friends understand that you appreciate them for them and you aren’t trying to milk support from them.

Family members. Family members. Damn family members. Every day we wake up ready to tackle the world, our own inhibitions, and do what we do best. Then in comes a family member talking about how what we’re doing isn’t real work, how we need to stop feeling like we’re different from everyone else and get a real job. This isn’t even just for musicians. This is for the freelance community as a whole. Family members can be toxic and get cut off too. It doesn’t matter how cute you think the mole is. If it’s malignant, IT HAS TO GO.

Don’t allow them to take away from the fact that you’re living the way you want to live and that’s all that matters. You don’t need to live their way, it’s not their life. Freelance, musician, whatever, these are your choices. I’m 24 with a college degree and no kids (also no STD’s but that’s besides the point). I’m going to live how I want right now and if I fail, I have my degree to fall on. We have the freedom and youth to mold a life we love. If family can’t understand that because they “loved” working a crap job that would’ve fired them at moment’s glance, that’s fine but it’s not for us.

Lastly, relationships. Understand that this is for EVERYONE.

You aren’t obligated to anything or anyone in this world.

If you feel your significant other is holding you back in any way, if you feel they don’t understand your life, after you’ve tried explaining, and you can’t continue on, leave them. As a musician, we love hard and we deal with a lot of emotions that we try to translate into words for songs. We’re open to the world so that anyone feeling the same thing can have a safe place in our art. Sometimes that leaves a partner feeling as if we aren’t open enough to them.

Sometimes that isn’t even the case. They just wish you'd spend all your time on them instead of your art. Spend time with your loved ones; it’s very important to do so. However, we’ve got work to do. There has to be balance, everywhere. Don’t allow someone to take you out of your balance, whether it be friends, family, or partners.

Love yourself. Don’t allow your own dark thoughts to hinder you on your path. Don’t allow someone else’s words to cripple you. Walk tall, walk strong, walk in peace, light, and love. Also make sure you eat vegetables. We have bad eating habits as musicians and need to stop that shit.

If no one else tells you today, I love you.