An Anti-Vday, Pro You Playlist

I grew up on music made for people in love. I used to scream “End of the Road” by Boyz II Men. Before I even knew what a relationship was, before I had even kissed anyone. The way R&B artists sang about being in love made me feel like I was too.

As I grew up, I could see the emotion those singers portrayed wasn’t how society represented love. It wasn’t about working through your differences and loving a person with your whole being.

It became about buying material things for your partner, showcasing your thoughtfulness on social media, and moving on for the next Holiday.

Western society has peer pressure built into everything. Every holiday we’re pushed harder to get more and do more, decorate more, go out more, celebrate more. For Valentine’s Day, couples are pressured to show off how in love they are. They are expected to go out, expected to spend money, and if not, one of them must not care.

Singles are left out, and their singleness is highlighted. They’re forced to ask acquaintances to be their valentine to avoid embarrassment. Or hide out at home and binge watch romance movies, wallowing in their own self-pity. This weekend MTV only played the movie Ghost for 24 hours. There's nowhere to hide.

Last year Americans shelled out 27.4b “for love.” That’s Billion with a B. As consumers, we decide how holidays are celebrated. If none of us go out and buy gross chalky candy hearts, they’ll stop selling them. Giant overpriced stuffed animals can become a thing of the past.

I’m not anti-love, but I am anti monetizing it. I’m also against waiting for one particular day of the year to show your partner you love them.

This V-day, let’s show a little self-love. Our anti-Vday playlist includes songs that will build your confidence, help you get over your ex, or just celebrate freedom.

Complete Anti-Valentine's Day Playlist

Hot Girl V-day

The new rise of female hip-hop embodies confidence. From Saweetie to Mulatto and everyone in between. They all regard themselves as queens and tolerate nothing but the best from the opposite sex.

Megan Thee Stallion, who coined the phrase "hot girl," leads the pack. It's hard not to feel instantly more confident when you call yourself a hot girl. A hot girl is about her business and values her freedom. She's independent and beautiful- she's desired but never kept. Megan is the lead hot girl, and she lays down an example on every track.

She encourages her fans with songs like “Body ” and “Savage.” Her delivery can be lude, but her message is pure. To feel more in tune with your sensuality and confidence in all you bring to the table, I’ve chosen 3 tracks from the hot girl.

Hot Girl Summer

Handle me? (Huh) Who gon' handle me? (Who?)

Thinkin' he's a player, he's a member on the team

He put in all that work, he wanna be the MVP (Boy, bye)

I told him ain't no taming me

Oh, 2019, we didn't appreciate you. I remember this summer was made for celebrating freedom and being single. Everyone was following in Megan's footsteps and living their player life. This song was the anthem that encouraged us all to get a little crazy.

Nicki Minaj also teams up with the hot girl in this song and delivers one of my favorite verses of hers.

I'm just a real ass bitch, give a fuck about a trick

On some real ass shit, and we really with the shit

Put this pu**y on your lip, give a fuck about the d*ck

I get that rrr and then I rrr, I grab my shit and then I dip, ooh

I can't help but chuckle at the last line every time.

Savage

I'm a savage (Yeah)

Classy, bougie, ratchet (Yeah)

Sassy, moody, nasty (Hey, hey, yeah)

Another perfect song for building yourself up. Megan is rapping about herself and all the qualities she's unapologetic about. The melody is slow and hypnotic. Megan's voice is always the forefront but there is a lot of craftmanship in her beats.

Sweetness and Seduction

We can be anti-Valentines day without throwing intimacy out the window. How people experience and show their more seductive side varies. While Megan is confident and overt, Ariana Grande is more subtle and sweet.

For example, in “34+35,” she’s singing in such a sweet angelic voice that you almost miss the whole song is a booty call. Ariana is a more classic girly girl. She loves pink and lip gloss, all things girly.

Maybe you’re on the shyer side but still want to be confident and bold in your expression. For that, we look toward Ariana and Princess Nokia for guidance.

34+35

This song makes me blush. It's so vulgar and bold but so easy on the ears. I can't help but sing the words, and the beat is so happy and light. Ariana shows a different version of seduction and stepped away from her Nickoloden roots with this track. This song is soft, warm, but exciting, and something new from her.

I Like Him

I stumbled upon Princess Nokia one day while exploring Youtube. From the first beat of this song, I knew it was something different. I don't even like men, but this song makes me consider it.

The beat bounces in a way that makes you feel powerful and irressistable. Princess Nokia is so in touch with her feminity and what she wants that it's inspiring.

I especially like the video; society acknowledges that we place unfair expectations on females, but we do the same for males and sweep it under the rug.

Men are expected to be shredded, athletic, tall, greek like specimens. But in reality, they come in all shapes and sizes, all ethnicities, all body types, and cultural backgrounds.

"I Like Him" is about all the men she's attracted to, and how she's living carefree and exploring with them. Princess Nokia showcases all different types of men. She highlights that anyone can be attractive and in such different ways. I'll attach some stills I took from the video to illustrate my point.

I like him, like him too

He my man, he my boo

He my type, he so cute

I want him, and I want him too

I like him, like him too

"I Like Him" is a girl's anthem that isn't putting men down. Instead, it's celebrating them in all the ways they exist. I love the respect given while still capturing the air of female independence.

Breakup Blues

Love can make you have a new outlook on life. It brings you higher than you've ever been. On the same token, breakups can be devastating. It can be hard to even get out of bed. Because of the gravity of the emotions, this section is the largest in our playlist. These songs will pick you up and remind you that life goes on, and it's their loss in the end.

Thank u next

Ariana has gone through some of the most public and heart-wrenching breakups. If anyone is qualified to tell us how to move on, it's Ari. I like Thank u next because it's light and optimistic. Ariana is grateful to her exes for the lessons, and she's finding love within herself. The song is easy to dance to and won't weigh you down. Sometimes you need to reconnect with who you are and how to love yourself. This song is perfect for that.

I Don't Want You Back

See I dont know why I liked you so much

I gave you all of my trust

I told you, I loved you, now thats all down the drain

Ya put me through pain

I wanna let you know that I feel.

In this song, Eamon sings his heart out about a girl who cheats on him and then asks for him back. I've never been able to figure out if this song is satire or not; the lyrics seem too silly to be real. Regardless it's one of the funniest songs to sing. Having someone in mind to aim the words at elevates the experience to another level.

After singing this at the top of your lungs, you might even forget you were in a relationship in the first place. This song isn't for the faint of heart; you'll be dropping lots of f-bombs. But hey, sometimes it's necessary.

"Now you asking for me back, you just another act

Look elsewhere 'cuz you're done with me

Fuck what I said it dont mean shit now

Fuck the presents might as well throw 'em out

Fuck All those kisses they didnt mean jack

Fuck you, you hoe, I dont want you back."

Obsessed

This song captured my heart in 2010. It was the first time I heard a song about another famous person. I was in awe at how easily Mariah Carey was able to diss Eminem. She had the whole country making fun of him, and she did it in style.

Finally, found a girl that you couldn't impress.

Last man on the earth, still couldn't get this

You're delusional, you're delusional

Boy, you're losing your mind

It's confusing, yo, you're confused, you know

Why you wasting your time?

The song is electric and addictive; it's so fun to sing and makes you feel as confident as she does at that moment. The beat is mesmerizing with a deep rhythmic base, and that early 2000s feel. Could we really leave out a song with the lyrical gold that is:

Got you all fired up with your Napoleon complex

Seeing right through you like you're bathing in Windex.

Shake it off

We really can't have a whole section dedicated to break up songs and not mention the queen of them-Miss T Swift, who dedicates a song to each failed relationship. Hey, I'm not complaining; we get good music.

"Shake it off" is one of my favorites from Taylor; it's fun, and the melody is quick. I believe the song is more about brushing off the small stuff, but it could be applied to a breakup as well. Shake off those negative attachments, dance on your own.

Heartbreakers gonna break, break, break, break, break

And the fakers gonna fake, fake, fake, fake, fake

Baby, I'm just gonna shake, shake, shake, shake, shake

I shake it off, I shake it off

Potential Breakup Song

It took too long, it took too long, it took too long

For you to call back

And normally, I would just forget that

Except for the fact it was my birthday, my stupid birthday

I wanted to end the breakup section on a light note. This song was instrumental to my childhood and to this day sends waves of nostalgia through me that improve my mood no matter what.

I played along, I played along, I played along

Rolled right off my back

But obviously, my armor was cracked

What kind of a boyfriend would forget that?

Who would forget that?

Aly and AJ outdid themselves with this gem of a song. It will reframe how you're feeling and if nothing else provide some comic relief.

Blasts From the Past

No Scrubs

A scrub is a guy that thinks he's fly

He's also known as a busta (Busta, busta)

Always talkin' about what he wants

And just sits on his broke ass

This one goes out to the ladies who are tired of being catcalled and pursued by men with nothing going for themselves. It's a classic, smooth, easy flowing song that never seems to get old.

Survivor

Now that you're out of my life, I'm so much better

You thought that I'd be weak without you, but I'm stronger

You thought that I'd be broke without you, but I'm richer

You thought that I'd be sad without you, I laugh harder

Oh, the good ole days when Destiny's child was paving the way for independent women. Survivor is a strong song about rising above an exes expectations. It's slightly satirical and empowering. The beat propels the song forward in the best way, and it inspires the listener to overcome their troubles and, again, realize they are worth more.

Thought I wouldn't grow without you, now I'm wiser

Thought that I'd be helpless without you, but I'm smarter

You thought that I'd be stressed without you, but I'm chillin'

You thought I wouldn't sell without you, sold 9 million

Parting Words

We can take one day out of the year to have fun and listen to songs that build us up. Valentines Day started as a celebration of love but has become something very different. Love is not about buying things, if you could buy love every millionaire would be happy. Love is meant to be celebrated everyday, and in the smallest moments.

I hope this playlist has given you somewhere to escape if you can't avoid the reminders of V-day. Remember what Ariana and Megan taught you. Dance with Taylor, or cuss your ex out like Eamon. This V-day is for you. Us true romantics can take the holiday back next year.