An Anti-Love Playlist for the Single Ladies

Ladies, raise your hand if you are single! I know it can feel very lonely at times and there are days when you probably think to yourself how nice it would be to have someone by your side. February 14th is the cruel reminder that none of us (Yes I am a member of your tribe) need denoting our solo status. Instead of jamming up in the holiday hype, I thought it would be interesting perhaps even fun to explore a different approach to Valentine’s Day.

First, you need to understand and accept that your defining as a woman never comes from a “relationship” status. Whatever pressure you may face in life from family, friends or nosy coworkers to find a mate is never a reflection of the beautiful person staring back at you in your vanity mirror. Keeping this in mind, whenever the load feels too heavy to carry, never feel afraid to tell those yapping in your ear to mind their own business. Personally, I have done this: quite liberating.

Second, living a single life can be refreshing and a necessary transition in personal growth. We all need a time out to work on ourselves and pursue dreams often pushed aside when our focus involves a partner. The truth is that at some point we all give another more attention than we give to ourselves. While there is nothing wrong with empathy and sharing, sometimes there is a boiling point resulting in the neglect of self-priorities. It is simple: take the necessary time to care for yourself first!

For those of you women, who already find balance in life and feel fulfilled yet are simply lonely, then do not fear. Valentine’s Day does not have to be a sad reflection of yesterday. In fact, I suggest not putting any reminiscing fantasy into longing for past loves. Think about it for a moment. Clearly, there are reasons why past relationships are in the past. Something was missing, not working anymore or someone was at fault. Do not play the good stuff repeatedly to fill a void on cupid’s day. It will not make you feel any better.

I do have an idea, however, which is fun and bound to uplift any soul feeling left out on the day of roses, chocolates and mushy greeting cards. Music is a sure fire method helping us cope with whatever problems pop up in our complicated lives. Words put to upbeat rhythms raise endorphins allowing us to release pent up emotions resulting in the perfect “Ahh” moment.

I have composed a list of songs, which reflect anti love lyrics with the intention of pulling all the single women out of a slump. Do not waste your day listening to sad love songs when you can enjoy these tunes, which all speak on things gone wrong. Yes, it will make you think about why it all went south in the first place empowering you never repeating the same mistakes.Think of it as music for growth, if you will.

1) Kelis-" Caught Out There"

This is a powerful song all about a girl catching her man cheating. We all have been there at one point or another. "I hate you so much right now" are explosive words. Go ahead, turn it up and scream along. I guarantee if harboring any negativity, this will make you feel 100% better!

2) Taylor Swift- "We Are Never Getting Back Together"

I always love the stories that come with Taylor's songs. This a fun song about a girl who keeps breaking up and reconciling with her boyfriend. Finally, she realizes it is a complete waste of time and calls it off for good. She makes the whole complicated cycle quite simple for herself by just letting go.

3) No Doubt- "Don't Speak"

This is Gwen Stefani in her early years with the group No Doubt. The song centers around a relationship that does not work out. It offers a deep reflection of a woman who is in tune with her partner enough to know his feelings regarding their union. She does not want to hear the words, however, as this will hurt her even more.

4) Carly Simon- "You're So Vain"

Carly Simon sings it well in this song all about a self- consumed man. I think we all have known someone like this and can relate to the annoying habits that tag along with a vain personality. She gives this song a lighthearted smile touching on the encounters of a naive young woman.

5) Natalie Imbrugia- "Torn"

We all have had a breakup that has left us with emotional baggage feeling insecure. This songs speaks about a girl who idealizes her perfect mate only to later discover he is nothing like the illusion she chose to embrace of him. The fact is that sometimes people choose illusion over the hurtful facts which only causes more pain in the long run.

6) Stevie Nicks- "Love Changes"

Sometimes feelings change and Stevie expresses it well in this song. It is never healthy to stay with a partner if you are denying yourself. She says it best here" The love that I gave was all around you; there was nothing left for me." Change is part of life and sometimes couples grow apart.

7) Keyshia Cole and Missy Elliott- "Let it Go"

There is nothing worse than being with the wrong partner. In short, never settle to avoid lonliness! If you do not receive the same affection and devotion that you put into a relationship then get out. Otherwise, you will be miserable and do nothing but bitch about it especially to your girlfriends.

8) Tina Turner- "What's Love Got to Do With It"

Tina sings about a girl who chooses an affair over a relationship. She does not wish to put her heart on the line and needs her lover to understand that things are purely physical. She has no emotional attachment and makes her message loud and clear.

9) Carole King- "It's Too Late"

This beautiful classic released on her album entitled Tapestry in 1971, demonstrates King's moody tale about a relationship no longer able to survive. She puts on a brave face coming to terms with the inevitable but inside feels sad and overwhelmed.

10) TLC- "Creep"

Men are not the only ones who cheat. This anthem of a woman's indiscretions tells the tale of a girl who cheats knowing that her man does the same to her. She loves him and has no intention on leaving but decides to engage in similiar behavior seeking the attention of another guy.