A James Bond Musical Mystery

Not every song written for a James Bond movie actually makes into the movie. It's not unusual for there to be multiple rejected theme songs. An archetypal song was Mr. Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, by Shirley Bassey. also sung by Dionne Warwick, that was intended as a theme for Thunderball.

This is apparently what Italians call Bond, Mr. Kiss Kiss Bang Bang. The song was cut for not incorporating the name of the movie but it still appeared on the soundtrack. The phrase 'Kiss Kiss Bang Bang' would later be used in the chorus of "The World is Not Enough" by Straw. That may not seem familiar because that song was also cut from its respective movie.

Some of the songs appear odd at first glance, like Pulp's Tomorrow Never Lies, which is almost but not quite the name of the movie. Apparently that was the original name and Tomorrow Never Dies was actually a typo that wound up being used. Another song that used the working title was Red Flag's Beyond the Ice, which was made for the movie that became Die Another Die.

Major artists have made Bond songs that didn't get used, such as Alice Cooper, Blondie, and Radiohead. One of the wildest choices was country singer Johnny Cash, who did song for Thunderball. It is hard to imagine a song that feels less like a James Bond theme. It sounds like he's singing about Southern bowling tournament. The most unintendedly hilarious song though has to be The Goldeneye by Ace of Base. It has these timeless lyrics: "We're in the 90's. Nothing is the same. The Cold War is replaced by different actors, using different names."

These songs are all known to be rejected themes. There is another song though that only has fan theories that it might be a rejected James Bond theme, and that is 25 by The Pretty Reckless.

The first thing that struck me upon hearing it was that this was autobiographical song by lead singer Taylor Momsen. She's singing about being an unhappy child actor (she was Cindy Loo Who in 2000's The Grinch) and a quarter life crisis -- she was 25 when she wrote the song. Yet the song seemed different from her usual metal rock fare, sounds more like, well, a Bond theme. And her style in the video is different from her usual black leather and heavy black eye shadow; she is wearing haute couture dresses and sipping a martini like, well, a Bond girl.

The lyrics seem to be skimming through Bond history:

Year one was lots of fun

But nothin' lasts forever in my dreams

And two, I followed you

Because you knew the way or so it seemed

And three, I still believed

That we would be becoming destiny

And four, I wanted more

But you were movin' on to better things

Chorus:

At 25 and still alive

This song would have been for No Time to Die, the 25th Bond movie

Much longer than expected for a man

At 25, all hope has died

And the glass of my intentions turns to sand

And shatters in my hand

The working title for Bond 25 was Shatterhand.

Oh-oh-oh

Five to six, a lie, a kiss

The secrets that were served, we'd never say

On Her Majesty's Secret Service was Bond 6.

Skip to eight, we called it fate

To live, to let us die another day

Live and Let Die was Bond 8.

And nine, I saw the signs

Reflected in the barrel of a gun

The Man with the Golden Gun was Bond 9.

Ten, we're here again

Those who loved me burned up in the sun

The Spy Who Loved Me was Bond 10

[Chorus]

From 11, 12, I held the future in my grasp

Bond 11, Moonraker, and to a lesser extent Bond 12, For Your Eyes Only, are about controlling the future of the world.

And all through my teens, I screamed I may not live much past

21, two, three, four

21, two, three, four

21, two, three, four

One, two, three, four

The serries was rebooted at Bond 21, Casino Royale, which showed Bond going on his first mission.

[Chorus]

I can feel a tin foil hat crinkling around my head as I lay out this evidence, some of it is quite a stretch. Cumulatively though, it seems like it must be about James Bond.

Here's the thing though, Momsen has given interviews where she said "But the inspiration was really drawn from me just reflecting on my life up until that point, writing this autobiographical song from a place of despair. When I finished writing "25," it was a moment where I noticed the shift in my writing. I took a bit of a turn, and I think that I got better."

Of particular interest is an interview she gave with Tuonela Magazine where the interviewer straight up says "“25” could be like this James Bond song, in my opinion." Momsen responds that she has probably gotten some inspiration from cinema, but more inspiration from The Beatles.

The final theme song to No Time To Die would be done by Billie Eilish. You could argue that the studio dropped The Pretty Reckless because of the title change or because they wanted to go with a more famous artist. However, the time line doesn't add up. It was announced that Eilish would be doing the theme in January 2020. The Pretty Reckless wouldn't release the music video for 25 until December 2020. We can see from a making of video that pandemic precautions are being taken, so the 25 music video must have been shot in 2020 and not earlier. This means that everyone involved wanted to keep it secret that this was a rejected Bond theme, but they went out and filmed a video of Momsen looking like Bond girl and sipping a vodka Martini.

This would mean that all of those lyrics are just coincidence. Which may seem like a lot to swallow, but yeah, these weird coincidences do sometimes happen. Or do they?