A Dream World With Rose-Colored Glasses

I didn’t know what Rock, Jazz, Blues and Country music meant in my teenage because my community people considered girls who listen to western music as rebels. Boys enjoyed the freedom which the girls cannot imagine even in their fantasyland. Girls have to stick to the rules. They would force girls to learn only classical music and sing/hear regional songs. The misconception of girls would lose their discipline if they hear English songs floated around my people when I grew up.

I love to hear songs which are not in my mother tongue, but I have never expressed it or shared to any of my friend’s circle. My playlists comprises random genre songs. I picked the list of songs myself from a random search in internet, by hearing it from TV, but all the inspiration to hear English songs came from one song and there is a sweet story behind it. First song which drove me to hear more songs isn’t a pure English song. I will list those songs which I love to hear in my teenage to calm my nerves.

María by Ricky Martin

The music of this song eased my teen angst. It is the first song which I heard out of my mother tongue. In my teen, I lived in an apartment and my neighbor auntie’s son, who is older than me, used to play this song in full blast. They lived upstairs, and I used to hear this song from the patio of my home. I didn’t know what song it is, and I didn’t have the nerve to ask him or his mom. I listened to the song carefully and grasped some words. Internet helped me to find this song. My journey to hunt the music that soothes my teenage angst started from there.

Lonely by Akon

Since I was a shy kid without siblings, I had issues in mingling with people. High school scared me, despite having friends. I had the anxiety that my age kids will leave me out alone for no reason. It made me talk less and sometimes stay silent when I’m with my friends in a group. When I met the same friends alone, I felt comfortable to strike a conversation, but a group of four or five made me uncomfortable. I always had the urge to stay lonely. Somehow this song felt emotionally connected. I have played this song many times on repeat mode when I’m lonely.

Take Me to Your Heart by Michael Learns to Rock

It is a song close to my heart. I have always felt I’m in short of love in my teen. My family is beautiful, but I have seen a lot of issues, fights and my parents were fighting with the odds. I didn’t disturb them or burden them much by pouring out my problems into them in my teenage. Instead, I dreamed that some guy who would pour his love on me inspired by this song. Though it didn’t happen in my teen, I enjoyed the feel when I hear this song.

Show Me the Meaning of Being Lonely by Backstreet Boys

I am feeling crazy now since looking back I have been in love with all kinds of lonely songs. It is disheartening to discover that I’m a sad kid. Anyway, I like this song even today. Not that I’m lonely or sad. Both are false. It is just nostalgic to hear them.

My Playlist

I have a list of other songs with no background stories. I heard them just because I am a fan of those songs and to make myself comfortable in my challenging teenage. To pop myself out of my secure bubble, these songs helped a lot.

Smack That by Akon

Don’t Matter by Akon

Sorry, Blame It on Me by Akon

Right Now by Akon

As Long as You Love Me by Backstreet Boys

Have You Ever Been in Love by Westlife

Dead End Street by The Kinks

Everyone by Backstreet Boys

Hips Don’t Lie by Shakira

Ojos Así by Shakira

Livin’ La Vida Loca by Ricky Martin

Cry by Michael Jackson