A Design for Life*

I collect music. I perfectly realise that in this era of a modern digital world everyone can potentially fulfil his or her desires in moments downloading the stuff from the Internet. But not me. I COLLECT music. You can SEE my collection in real, it’s visible. There are not only digital copies (I have them all in my laptop of too), but you can see the physical CDs, vinyls and music DVDs. Here are first few photos:

REWIND THE FILM*

I’ve started collecting music when I was eighteen (I’m thirty-eight now). First, there were cassettes (I was born in the 1980s) I could buy in the local music shops in Poland. And trust me, music back then was kind of expensive (and in Poland is still the same), especially when you were a teenager commuting to the city every day to school. There wasn’t an Internet. At least I didn’t have it. I’ve got my first laptop when I was twenty-eight, I’ve survived my study years sharing desktop computer with my little sister and the machine was in her room. It was long time ago. I’ve listened to the Polish Radio Programme 3 24/7 because my kind of music (alternative rock/indie) was pushed into the deep night time there. I think it still mostly is, just a few radio broadcasts with my music are thrown during the daytime, leaving more space for the mainstream. Still, I could afford maybe one CD or music DVD a month what was so frustrating. My parents seemed to not understand my needs as they’ve closed themselves in the TV world forever (I’ve written my BA dissertation about this medium). So, I was waiting for better times.

POSTCARDS FROM A YOUNG MAN*

They came from the West with the English wave from my friend Andy. He decided to open a second-hand record store in the city where he already had a hostel cooperated with the other person. I’ve met him through one of the major selling websites in Poland called Allegro where he was selling CDs. I think that my life has turned upside down then after realising that in England second-hand charity stores are the everyday reality. It was never Poland’s reality, even though we have quite thriving music business; we have rock, blues, jazz, classical, film music, music festivals, and some world-renowned names (the same as film directors and writers recently even receiving a Nobel Prize and that wasn’t the only time in our history!), yet we don’t have charity stores with music! Maybe you can find a few in bigger cities these days, but they have definitely more articles than the customers. And unfortunately, there was a similar situation with Andy’s store which wasn’t located in the main square, but on the outskirts of the city. Although the store had some promotion, leaflets (which I was distributing myself too!), tons of imported from UK CDs, vinyls, even some DVDs, games, and record players, the customers were in short supply. I think the most valuable customer my friend had ever had was me because I was the one receiving my wages in CDs and vinyls. I didn’t mind, I was still living with my parents and struggling to get permanent jobs, so that was a perfect environment to avoid distractions (as is said in Quentin Tarantino’s movie “Kill Bill 2”) and to listen to the music all day. But I knew that situation like that can’t last forever, that one day I will have to move on again.

A SONG FOR DEPARTURE*

And that day came with the fire in Andy’s hostel after which nothing was the same. The sales were poor, even via Internet (managed mostly by me). Andy decided to close the store and I was looking for the next chapter in my life. I didn’t lose any sleep over the decision to emigrate to England. Since I’ve met my English friend (even though he knew Polish language quite well, what I didn’t know at first, on every occasion we were speaking English for my benefit and I’ll be eternally grateful to him for that) I knew that the only way to finally and properly learn the most popular language in the world is to be in the centre where people are communicating with it. Plus, there was my music mecca where my hobby could fully thrive.

THE FUTURE HAS BEEN HERE 4EVER*

From the moment I landed in the UK in 2013 I pursued thrift stores every week. British Heart Foundation, HMV (where I was always looking for a bargain from my shelf), even Poundland (where I’ve bought every CD from my shelf until there was no more!), and my favourite Oxfam Music shop where for usually £50 I had my weekly supply of CDs. Here is one of my receipts from those times:

For usually £3.99 I could have not only my favourite music, but also a full artwork of the original album and not some shameful pirate version not even worth mentioning to anyone, let alone to be proud of. Badly Drawn Boy, Kasabian, The Kooks, Brett Anderson (as I already had the whole discography of Suede), Idlewild, Wilco, Eels, LCD Soundsystem, Múm, Róisín Murphy, PJ Harvey, Yeah Yeah Yeahs, The Raveonettes, The Kills, The White Stripes, The Dead Weather, The Raconteurs (as I’m a fan of Jack White), Peter Bjorn and John, TV on the Radio, Bloc Party and more and more and more… Those gems in my collection are mostly from alternative rock/indie music shelf and most of the bands and artists are or were understandably based in the UK. For me the Golden Age in music was a decade from 2000 until 2010 and also a British rock from 1990s: Oasis, Blur, Suede, Pulp, Manic Street Preachers…

I remember playing the truant one day when I was eighteen and instead of hopping on the train going to the neighbouring city to school, I went to the distant city in my country, a capital, to see the concert of Oasis. I was hoping to see both Gallagher brothers together on a stage, yet they’re fighting together on the tour (as usual) and instead of Noel, I saw… Johnny Marr – a guitarist known from The Smiths first, but later also from many collaborations with other musicians. Not bad for the eighteen years old girl to see a real legend by a pure coincidence. Then I learned to distinguish bass from a guitar simply by the number of strings in the instrument. Knowledge is lying anywhere; you just have to reach out for it.

FOUND THAT SOUL*

I find that the favourite kind of music I’m listening to (alternative) makes me happy and revitalises my broken brain connections bringing back to life. It’s the source of inspiration (I love English language with its British variety) and possess calming properties as well. It helps to maintain psychological functions of my mind. I still can’t fully explain why that particular kind of music works on me. It simple IS that. I also occasionally happen to listen to jazz, pop, electronica, R&B, and rap, but if for some reason I neglect listening indie, I’ll be in trouble. As my English friend Andy already had wider knowledge about music than me (he was also a DJ and had huge collection of vinyls), thanks to him I discovered Discogs. It’s a website combining all discographies and releases of any musician (an artist or a band) in the whole world and sellers offering its second-hand or brand-new versions. It’s an Internet music encyclopaedia for buyers. When I discovered it, I almost instantly wanted to change all my CDs for the Japanese versions, because they almost always have additional songs… Why nobody told me that earlier? It’s expensive to pay for the product and the shipping from different countries (you basically paying twice for the same item), so now before I purchase any album, I’m checking on Discogs if that particular album has any additional songs in Japanese or in any other version released in other countries. I think I still need to wait for another chapter in my life to pursue my shopping goals (I only bought a few collector’s items from this website like Jet vinyl for instance from America – see picture below), but as I get older, I see that I have so many other hobbies and activities that my life is probably too short to fulfil myself completely. The only regret I have is that Discogs site has changed recently and is full of ads. Modern world is barging through our door every way it can.

SEND AWAY THE TIGERS*

I can truly say that I’m addicted to music, but is one of those healthy addictions. I can’t write without music, can’t eat without music, can’t dusting my room without music. I can only read books in a complete silence of the surrounding environment. Music is everywhere around me and in my head. The only thing I can’t do is to create music. That was neglected in my childhood, when my parents bought me an acoustic guitar on my 10th birthday, but I couldn’t learn to play on it or even tune it and I finally sold the instrument in my adulthood to a Russian girl missing her country whilst being in my country. That transaction made us both happy. But it’s no use crying over spilt milk. I can proudly say that I’ve written many parts and the whole stories by the music of one kind of artists or the other depending on the mood for the story: Róisín Murphy, Alicia Keys, Novika (Polish musician), Radiohead (it’s my current creative mood) and many, many, many more! It’s impossible to write about every inspirational album and every artist here, so I want to focus on the most unexpected finds. Illustrious examples in my collection include:

MY LITTLE EMPIRE*

I also have some of the very precious to me CD albums of the Swedish rock-pop band Kent. The vocalist is singing in Swedish language [sic] and whenever I’m listening to it, I instantly want to learn that language properly and sing with the vocalist! But I’m singing anyway, finding lyrics online with their translations on the fanpage. But the real rough diamond in my collection is a Welsh rock band Manic Street Preachers (Manics). This is not just a band releasing the albums every now and then. They have a mission. It’s discernible from the first sight:

Their every full-length album or a single has a quotation or a poem embedded in the tissue of the cover. At the back of the album “Gold Against the Soul” you can read “Song of Those Who Died in Vain” by Primo Levi, a Holocaust survivor. Until the third album “The Holy Bible” from 1994, the main part of the band’s creative lyrical work was done by Richey Edwards – a Welsh Kurt Cobain figure whose disappearance and pronounced death later on made the band somewhat famous. Richey’s greatly poetic lyrics were influenced by his political history knowledge gained during his studying and obtaining a degree at Swansea University.

The whole band consists of the nonconformists from the left-wing who “claim that human development flourishes when individuals engage in cooperative, mutually respectful relations that can thrive only when excessive differences in status, power, and wealth are eliminated.”

Clark, Barry (1998) Political Economy: A Comparative Approach. Westport, Connecticut: Praeger Press

I just love the attitude where different arts are flowing together in a perfect unison. Vocal excerpts from mostly political speeches heavily embellish also Manics’ songs, but that’s not something unusual in the music world compared to making every album cover a multidisciplinary masterpiece.

HOLD ME LIKE A HEAVEN*

My music collection includes more than 25,000 songs and was copied from my broken old laptop to the new one by the specialists for a couple of hours (it had to be converted from wma to mp3 as Mac doesn’t recognise the former format). It’s only in alphabetical order digitally, physically is scattered through portmanteaux and some smaller boxes in two countries, but I can assure you that I can always find the exact CD or a vinyl. I have a photographic memory, I guess…

I have no idea how much my collection is worth, yet I would never give it or sell it to anyone for any money (I did sell some of the items in the past, but now I regret it). It’s priceless for me and insured as all contents in my room. Although I love it like my own child, I’m not closing myself in it completely, as I also occasionally listen to music from the Internet: first there was a MySpace in older days, now is YouTube and alexrainbird compilations with folk alternative.

Most of the music I’ve collected over the years has roots in the thrift stores. It was very rare when I purchased a new CD or a vinyl. It was usually happening in the past when the album or an artist/band was fresh (whilst being in Poland I was following Polish alternative bands from their debuts till their disbanding sometimes after releasing just one album; I went to their concerts too) and I wanted to listen to it straight away. In the last years my hobby significantly slowed down, I don’t buy as many CDs and vinyls as before, probably being able to fill in myself in the past, but I follow few musicians I want to continue to admire through my collection. Oasis is my lifelong cherished band, I grew up with them, still following Liam and Noel in their solo careers.

I was never disappointed with my purchasing choices, the same as the artists I was or I’m following almost never gave me any reason to stop giving them my support (and benefiting to mine too). Is only one band I’m disappointed with and I wish I hadn’t seen their concert on Reading Festival in 2016, but I did. Fall Out Boy. I started collecting their albums still being in Poland. That invigorating energy which many bands around also had, but I just happened to see THIS band live! And it was the worst sounding concert in my entire life! I’m thinking now that maybe I was standing too close to bouncing with the discordant sound speakers, I don’t know… That was also the same day when I saw the best concert in my whole life so far (and I didn’t participate in so many massive concerts at all, only Placebo, R.E.M., and Radiohead – the best concert for me in Poland). And that was Biffy Clyro, a Scottish band. I love how they’ve changed since their beginnings in 2002 (what I discovered later on vinyls – see picture) enriching their instrumental side and resigning from the raw and vague rock (which I also admire) to focus on lyrics enhanced with each new album. And that power of instruments and arrangements always gripping my heart in the right times! I can feel honesty pouring down through the tattooed bodies of Simon and Johnston brothers (the same band members from the start) still describing my life like they were my roommates. And that is why I love music so much.

Still unspoiled

Feeling refined

Röyksopp “A Beautiful Day Without You”

THIS IS MY TRUTH, TELL ME YOURS*

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*The title and subtitles of this article are the song or album titles of the Welsh rock band Manic Street Preachers.

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