A Breakup Music Playlist of Survival, Strength and Recovery.

Break ups hurt...especially if you wind up on the receiving end. Whoever in the relationship was guilty as charged for either calling the relationship off, or causing that outcome to happen would also feel that their heart and/or psyche would be smashed to pieces. At the best of times, being in love, as well as breaking up with someone (the longer, the more painful such events are) is suddenly like finding millions of little pieces of jigsaw puzzles scattered across the floor, and you are a contestant in Big Brother's panic room scrambling to pick up the pieces and rebuild; yet the clock is not on your side.

For sure, you can get some therapy, as well as speak to friends and family, in addition to hitting the friendly skies all in the name of escapism or otherwise; yet the reality is that time heals all wounds, and breaking up with someone you once loved and trusted; of who betrayed that trust is no different. Some people tend to move on and sleep with someone else the very next week, yet some of us are wired differently in that regard. Some split up couples can remain as friends, while others need to delete and even block an ex's cell phone number. Then again, the universe abhors a vacuum.

Try all the different strategies out there, from increasing your hours at work, and/or perhaps towards discovering some new past times. Maybe reading 50 Shades of Grey will float your boat, although I would not recommend it; especially if you just want to enjoy your platonic friendships for a while.

Everyone handles breakups differently. From personal experience, it feels like a breakup (mainly from long-term relationships, and having enjoyed two of them) is finally being free from love as a drug addiction, with no more pedestals to worry about. The breakup phase is like a form of rehabilitation in itself, where you are weaning off the most powerful drug of getting that ex out of your head. Some breakups are so intense, even to the point where people can experience an abundance of physical and health issues from insomnia, migraines, back pain, depression and digestive upsets to only name a few. That is because there is a strong emotional energy charge in the human body, and this holds true when you and that ex held a strong bond. Even if your weekly dates felt like a trip to the drug dealer for another hit. Those bonds need to be broken. Remedies help, yet the power of music (sound and visuals) is profound. Then again, German Philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche is renowned for quoting that: "Without music, life would be a mistake.”

Such a quote also brought me back to a three-day retreat that I had to attend with my fellow peers during the final year of school. That famous Puff Daddy song (sung with Faith Evans) was the flavor of the month at the time, and virtually everyone in the room was dancing to it. One of the teachers turns off the stereo, and remarks that "the songs we like is kind of a reflection as to where we are at in life, and possibly with our intellect." Therefore not every song on this list will resonate with you, and that is more than ok. Take it or leave it as always, and you can also mix up the sequence, and add in your own. Links will also be shared sparingly.

This playlist is created based on previous break up experiences (from not surviving the infamous seven-year-itch) that actually felt like a multitude of rashes, from just making it at that point...and down to more shorter term flings that showed promise, where the euphoria period faded like a flick of a switch. Pro tip: sorry Adele, your songs will have to wait until marriage in this case. (Dear reader, no Adele songs. Do not Cry Me a River either. Sorry Timberlake. No love songs. Kapish.)

As a result, the playlist is divided into four parts:

1. The Bridging Period

2. Survival

3. Strength

4. Recovery

Just like the healing process, grief has its own metronome. Time heals all wounds, yet music can literally help speed up time just that little bit faster, or even escape it, depending on the healing and hypnotic effects that such tunes can have on you. The time period is from the 80's to today, although throw in The Beatles, and a bit of Pearl Jam, and even some instrumentals. There is something in there for every Vocal Media reader who feels like they need to apply some aloe vera to a broken or wounded heart right now, even if (metaphorically speaking) it is smashed into smithereens.

The Bridging Period - suggested songs:

This is the period where you have just had your heart broken, regardless as to who decided to end said relationship. You may not be ready to heal just yet, however you feel drawn to music to help curb any loneliness, and just to begin to gain a bit of sanity and power back.

From Stranger Things 4, is a remastered 1985 classic, of which is currently number one on the charts today, as at the time of writing this: Running Up That Hill by Kate Bush. A song of courage to help you move on. Simply search for this song on YouTube, and take your pick. Secondly, The Lonely Night by Moby and Mark Lanegan is providing a meal ticket to a broken heart via catharsis. There could be tears, yet no guarantees. A soothing song to help loosen up that pain, just a little bit.

Survival time - suggested songs:

Once you are ready to begin to move on, and you have deleted your old mate's cell phone number. If you need more strength, you can even block them, and remember to turn off autofill on your smart phone; you can then begin to move on, without your ex's name appearing every single time you want to send a text message to someone else for example. Life (once again) abhors a vacuum, and sometimes this clearing process is not as simple as it seems. You could be a divorcee going through a court case during this time. The best advice is to listen to these songs during such proceedings, and for a little while after the actual split. This is the period to also get rid of any other memories of this person: photos, gifts, letters, cards, emails and texts. If they have left their stuff at your place; arrange for them to pick it up, or even better, send it to them. Write that goodbye letter, and safely burn it. The songs that you get you through:

1. Roar by Katy Perry

A song to help you protect your own personal space, as well as that broken heart, as you slowly mend it back together. Crocodiles are animals of protection to their own territory. Healthy boundaries are key.

2. Stronger (What Doesn't Kill You) by Kelly Clarkson

This American Idol winner is onto some sage wisdom here. You have made it, and have come out of this break up alive, even passing the bridging period. Ever so true. There is a profound difference between being lonely, and in being alone. This awesome song makes some of us grateful for having the whole bed to ourselves again...either just for a little while, or even forever if you feel that way inclined.

3. Don't Look Back in Anger by Oasis

The Beatles of the 1990's remind us to process that anger, and to not live life with any regrets. A timely reminder that good things happen to those who wait. No matter how quickly you process a break up, you need to be alone for a little while, so to be clearer on what really brings you joy to have a relationship in the first place. Let's face it, relationships are f**king hard.

4. Survivor by Destiny's Child

Enough said. Beyonce knows what it is like to break up with Jay-Z, and she is still here. The world can read up on all of her adversities. If Beyonce has written a song about putting a ring on it, and also stepped up to sing to the UN with I Was Here; then this song is worthy to add to any breakup playlist. While at it, let's add in I was Here by Beyonce to this list. You live and you learn:

5. I'm Still Standing by Elton John

You sure are, you champion. Keep healing that heart of yours. You are worthy of love. You will soon have love to give, and most of all to receive again.

6. No Scrubs by TLC

A 1999 classic. If your partner was caught lying and cheating on you, and was kind of selfish; then please give yourself some TLC. Bring it on.

Strength time - suggested songs:

What does not kill you definitely makes you stronger. You are healing, and perhaps the break up had turned your life upside down again. Now you are diverting your energy to how powerful, unique, special and amazing you truly are. You are achieving goals in your career, and you are beginning to spend more time with your friends. Be fierce like the lion. It is interesting when that vacuum is filled. That empty void is now filled up with friends, and perhaps attending a few meetup groups, where you meet some amazing people who share some common goals with you. There is strength in these lyrics.

1. Change by Lana Del Rey

There is something in the wind, and the winds of change are knocking on your door. You are building some more courage and resilience, all in the pursuit of being a human being again. You begin to enjoy life again, and realise that things happen for a reason. The reason may not blossom forth right away, and that is a-ok. This remix is so powerful.

2. Elastic Heart by Sia

My intuition was calling to add this one in. I recall having to teach a Les Mills Body Balance class with this song being used, while teaching class participants in standing strength sequences like the Warrior II in yoga. From rehearsing it so many times, my knees were sore as. Another experience that yours truly can add to her survival arsenal, and Sia is a popular artist.

3. You Gotta Be by Des'ree

It feels like someone is offering you a hug of encouragement, and is confirmation that you are way stronger than what you give yourself credit for. Then again, humans only use about 10% of our total brain capacities. Imagine if we used 100% of that?

4. Alive by Pearl Jam

Dear reader, I promised you a Pearl Jam song in this suggested breakup playlist. Well, here it is. You are alive (and present.)

5. Carry That Weight by The Beatles

I also promised you that I would also include a Beatles song in the mix. Look out for the 2009 remastered version on YouTube.

6. Strength of a Woman by Shaggy

I am not publishing this one due to my gender, yet this works both ways. For the male and non-binary readers out there; it is a reminder that people are incredibly strong. Men are drawn to strong women, and vice versa. Just to inspire all genders here. For men (and all humans) to trust again as well.

7. Shake It Out by Florence + The Machine

A song that helps us all find peace in turbulent times, and breakups are that. They're shaky. Things do not always go to plan in life, yet if you need a song of strength to help unleash and release those demons, then this song is worthy of a bookmark on any breakup playlist due to the death of a relationship that once showed a bucket load of promise and purpose. It is always darkest before the dawn in life.

You can write your way out, just like Hamilton did. You're welcome.

Recovery time - suggested songs:

Now is the time to spread your wings, whatever that means to you. This is relative, as no one knows how long a piece of string is. Two of these songs are instrumental, and therefore are open to interpretation. That is the beauty of this list. I am simply here to help you get started. Perhaps you are now fully trusting, and/or you are beginning to trust people again. Perhaps you are beginning to enjoy some more abundance as a result of having the courage to leave a toxic relationship, overcoming that fear of being alone. It is perfectly ok to be alone. It is also better to be unemployed (if feasible) than to be in a job that you hate, and one that is making you sick. Relationships and friendships are no different. Have faith that a new partner will come into your life, and that time will be the right time, no matter how many dates you have to be on to reach your end point.

1. Love Of Strings by Moby

A beautiful song that helps pass the time while having just boarded a plane, and the plane has not taken off yet. The beauty of life. Animals are a beautiful representation of that. This song is like a meditation, and some moisturiser for the soul. The 2013 HD version is the one you want.

2. Heroes by David Bowie

This reminds you as to why you are still single right now, as you know that something better is just around the corner for you, whether it is a new relationship, a new friendship, or some unexpected win, no matter how little. You are a hero for making it this far, and for being true and authentic to yourself. Your ex should feel like a nemesis by now.

3. Celebrate Life by Eelke Kleijn

This upbeat track reminds us all that life is to be enjoyed. We are not here for a long time, but for a good time. Life is way too short to be in a relationship that does not make you feel loved, and where you cannot trust your partner. Move on, and build that bridge. This is one song that deserves more credit than what has been granted. Enough said. Feel good, and dance around the house if you feel that way inclined to. Celebrate life. When yours truly walked through a bed of hot coals at an Anthony Robbins personal improvement seminar; the reminder was to celebrate it for making it to the end of that hot rod bed, and to be free from blisters and the like. In other words, to celebrate your successes and wins, no matter the magnitude.

What other tunes have you counted on to get you through a breakup, and why? Please share in the comments below, so that everyone here in the Vocal Media community can help one another survive those breakups, of which are usually left field. It has been my pleasure to put this playlist together for you. Thank you.