80's Playlist of a Teenage Underdog

"I've always been seen as the underdog in everything I've ever done in life, and it doesn't bother me in the slightest. The lessons have just made me stronger." - Victor Ortiz

I attended high school from 1985 to 1989 and I absolutely hated it! Sure, I had some good times and there are some pleasant memories of youth and times enjoyed with my friends, the few real ones that I had anyway, but for the most part high school was just one big ball of confusion, awkwardness and anxiety. Some people reminisce about their teenage years longing for days gone by but I can safely say I do not. In fact, I never think to myself “I wish I could go back” or “I miss those good old days”. I am truly glad that those days are long gone.

From early childhood I learned the importance of being myself and myself only. My parents were excellent role models who taught my sisters and me to think for ourselves and not to follow the crowd. As a very creative youngster I embraced my individuality in elementary school easily. I had many childhood friends and no qualms about how I compared to or measured up to others. As small children my classmates and I all accepted one another and no one cared that I dressed differently or was gifted with a colorful imagination.

As I got older things changed as all good things seem to do and it was not for the better. I can remember entering high school and my whole world going topsy- turvy at the tender age of fourteen. As a freshman I watched lifelong friends disappear into the midst of “Clicks” turning their backs on me. We were growing teenagers yet moving in opposite directions. I retained my creative personality maintaining my love for fashion expressing my own unique style. While this was acceptable as a little girl, as a teenager it meant out casting. My first year in high school brought me a lot of sorrow, anxiety and depression knowing that my physical appearance was somehow not good enough.

Despite my new found sense of loneliness I was determined to prevail. I joined the cross country running team over the summer break before my sophomore year acknowledging my endurance skills. I had always been an athletic girl; once a gymnast and a 3 time Presidential Physical Fitness Award recipient, and found testing my physical capabilities rewarding. I knew that in order to emotionally make it through the next three years of school that I needed an outlet to keep me focused and sane. Luckily my new activity found me a handful of friends who accepted me just as I was. Although I was deemed “weird” and destined to lose by many of my peers, this underdog finally had a place to call her own.

My new found love for running was therapeutic for my soul. Whether rain, shine sleet or snow, I was my happiest running on the open road. No matter what happened during the school day I was able to keep my spirits up knowing that at the end of the day I would be joining my teammates for practice. Living in the Berkshires made the running experience even more enjoyable with the changing seasons. Bustling through the crackling amber fall foliage and stomping the pavement through a snowstorm were the ultimate levels of emotional high.

Accompanying me through all of the mileage I put in was a little pink Walkman clipped to my side. Music was as equally soothing to me as my workouts and combining the two took me to a place of freedom surging away from the worries of a very anxious teenager. A lot of my alone time was spent listening to various artists in my bedroom and my choices were as varied as my taste in clothing, art and literature. Music from the 1980’s helped me get through many moments of angst and the challenges I faced not only as a growing girl, but as one who did not comfortably blend in. I often was pushed aside by classmates simply because I listened to the beat of my own drum. I was assumed worthless lacking value because of creative differences yet in several instances I would prevail as the unassuming underdog.

My 80’s Playlist of a Teenage Underdog:

Rebel Yell- Billy Idol

A rebel yell can be an act or statement expressing defiance. Billy idol got the name for this song from the Rebel Yell brand of bourbon whiskey which has been around since 1936. Although this song is about a passionate one night stand with a woman who wants more, I associated Rebel Yell with my behavior of owning my individuality and not giving in to please the crowd. I celebrated my deviance from the assumed “norm” of my peers by just simply being myself. Rebel Yell was my continuous reminder to forge on ahead not giving in.

“In the midnight hour, she cried more, more, more

With a rebel yell she cried more, more, more"

• You Can Call Me Al- Paul Simon

The video features Chevy Chase lip synching the lyrics while Paul Simon pretends to play the instruments. This song was released in 1986 when I was a sophomore in high school. Recorded in South Africa, this song is about a self-absorbed person who becomes aware of his surroundings. This song especially lifted my spirits when I felt the people around me were shallow and not willing to look beyond the walls of our high school building to a world waiting outside.

“If you’ll be my bodyguard

I will be your long lost pal

I can call you Betty

And Betty, when you call me, you can call me Al

Cal me Al”

• True Colors- Cyndi Lauper

True Colors is a song about looking below the surface to see what a person is really like. It was written by the song writing team of Billy Steinberg and Tom Kelly and when Cyndi first heard the demo song by Tom it made her think of good friend Gregory Natal who had recently died from Aids. She came up with the whispering approach to sing the lyrics stating that the song needed to come from a soft childlike tone whispering that everything was going to be o.k.

“I see your true colors

And that’s why I love you

So don’t be afraid to let it show

Your true colors

True colors are beautiful

Like a rainbow”

• West End Girls- Pet Shop Boys

West End Girls is about the club scene In London where Pet Shop Boys Neil Tennant and Chris Lowe spent many evenings. There are a number of themes running throughout the lyrics including classification of people, dating & bonding and paranoia. Various vocal perspectives are delivered creating a collage including the British rap inspired by the rap scene coming out of the U.S.

I always thought about the way people mesh together when I heard this song and how people differ based on upbringing and so forth. It has always been a favorite with my British roots.

“You got a heart of glass or a heart of stone

Just you wait ‘til I get you home

We’ve got no future, we’ve got no past

Here today, built to last

In every city, in every nation

From Lake Geneva to the Finland Station”

• Things Can Only Get Better- Howard Jones

Things can only get better is a song about how things go terribly wrong in life. Everyone goes through bad times and the message here is that no matter what happens, no matter how ugly things get even if you lose everything, you can always pick yourself up & start over again. This song gave me hope when I didn’t place as well in one of my races as I had hoped or was picked on at school for one of my creative outfits; even on my loneliest days when I ate my lunch in the girl’s restroom stall because none of my friends shared my lunch period.

• I Heard a Rumor- Bananarama

I heard a rumor is a song that all teens can relate to as gossip of all kinds ring through the school halls on any given day. I too, had heartache in high school based on a rumor regarding a friend which ended up being true. The girl relocated to another school while I had to deal with the lies she told me. This was only fuel added to the fire in my already difficult high school life.

“So you realize what hurt you made

And the love you threw away

How can I forgive or soon forget

It’s never gonna be the same”

• Straight Up- Paula Abdul

Straight up is a pretty obvious song about a girl dating a guy who is a complete jerk. She wants him to be straight forward about his intentions and not have her feelings toyed with. As a teen I had my heart strings pulled the wrong way. I did not begin dating until my senior year in high school. For me this song will always be about a guy I met from another school. I did not date anyone where I attended classes but did meet this boy at a teen dance club I started going to the same year. The boy ended up being a complete player but this song will forever be my little victory among underdogs. I performed a dance routine with a friend to this song in front of the entire school during a talent week showcasing students of different artistic abilities. To my pleasant and utter complete surprise, we got a lot of compliments and positive feedback. I even remember having conversations with students who otherwise would never speak to me.

“I’ve been a fool before

Wouldn’t like to get my love caught in the slammin’ door

How about some information, please?”

• Running Up That Hill- Kate Bush

Running up that hill is a song about relationships between Men & Women and how they would appreciate each other more if they could trade places with one another. By changing roles and living as the other for a time, then and only then will Men & Women be able to fully understand how the other thinks, acts and feels. Artist Kate Bush has been a well-recognized artist in the United Kingdom for decades only achieving notoriety in the U.S. with the release of this song.

This perhaps may be my favorite on this list. It has taking on multiple points of value to me. For me, the misunderstanding spoken about in the song goes beyond male/female relationships to all relations between human beings. Showing consideration and appreciation for all people is vital and what I went through in high school is a direct result of not only being misunderstood but not given any consideration solely for being different. The dance choreography in this video is absolutely stunning and emotionally moving and conveys the song’s message superbly.

Running up that hill is also my private reference for all the uphill battles I have endured and the little victories I have won along the way by moving on at my own pace doing things when I was ready.

Finally, running up that hill marks one of my biggest underdog accomplishments in high school. My senior year after an ongoing leg injury I placed in the top ten at the Western Massachusetts Girl’s Cross Country Championships. Three girls, including me placed in the top ten making our team, The Wahconah Warriors, the 1988/89 Champions in all of Western Ma.

“You don’t want to hurt me

But see how deep the bullet lies

Unaware I’m tearing you asunder

Ooh, there is thunder in our hearts

Is there so much hate for the ones we love?

Tell me, we both matter, don’t we?”

It has been 32 years since I graduated high school. Today I am 49 years old and as much as I absolutely do not miss my angst ridden schooldays, I can tell you that I learned some invaluable lessons and am incredibly thankful for the person I have become. I still struggle with anxiety at times as we all do but if the past has taught me anything it is that I am perfectly acceptable just the way I am, and I will accomplish all of my goals in due time. Even today as an adult I have challenges and sometimes find myself surprising people who perhaps think less of me or that I am not a contender in this world. It does not get under my skin like it did as a teenager because even though I know I am an underdog, at least now I know what I am fully capable of.