27 Essential Songs for Your Anti-Valentine’s Day Playlist

Love. Love is the most potent drug to quit. Even when we are mistreated, we stay. Why is being in love so addicting? Dr. Stanton Peele Ph.D writes that love is more addictive than seven other drugs: cocaine, alcohol, valium, heroin, cigarettes, and even potato chips.

Love is something we all search for, we desire.

I've been in addictive love. It isn't a fun place to be or a healthy one. You know that feeling when you can't live without him, yet don't have the choice but to live without him, that terrible, gut-punch of emotion, like the world changed from color to black and white overnight.

It's a painful place to reside.

There is actually a scientific reason why it feels like you die when someone leaves you. Blame it on the chemicals in your brain. Scientifically, the pain of heartbreak taps into the same neural pathways as physical pain.

You'll get over it, the sun will rise again, and the sky will clear, the feelings of normalcy and balance return, there will be a day in the not to distance future when the first thing thought you have when you wake *won't* be of him.

I've been dumped and I've left someone who loved me, who I didn't love anymore. I've been deeply in love with my best friend, only to have it not work out. I married the wrong guy, only to have it end in disaster and financial ruin.

But I consider myself fortunate when it comes to love because I've had it (twice actually). The real deal. Not the codependent, addictive kind—the healthy, satisfying kind with a guy who gets 99 percent of what I'm putting down and I get him. All relationships are work, but they should never be hard.

Love is a strange thing.

The more you give love, the more you get back, and when you try to hang onto it, it flees. You can't make someone love you, and when someone says they want to leave, the best thing you can do is wish them the best of luck.

The following songs will help you do that.

Song: Ladies

Album: Fetch The Bolt Cutters [2020]

Artist: Fiona Apple

Fiona is basically saying in this great song, Hey, girl. Watch out for this one. I'm warning you, he cheats on everyone.

She is giving you, ladies, fair warning, and saying, you're welcome to him if you insist. But don't say I didn't warn you.

He will always be this: not worth it. Don't make the 'other woman' the enemy. She isn't. He is. Fiona is encouraging these ladies to blame the man. He's a cheater, and always will be, no matter which lady comes along.

Best lyrics:

Ladies, ladies, ladies, ladies

Take it easy, when he leaves me, please be my guest

To whatever I might've left

In his kitchen cupboards, in the back of his bathroom cabinets

And oh yes, oh yes, oh yes

There's a dress in the closet

Don't get rid of it, you'd look good in it

I didn't fit in it, it was never mine

It belonged to the ex-wife of another ex of mine

She left it behind, with a note

One line, it said:

"I don't know if I'm coming across, but I'm really trying"

Song: What Makes You Think You're the One

Album: Tusk [1979]

Artist: Fleetwood Mac

Here is the gist of this song, what makes you think I will love you forever? I won't. I don't forgive you because what you did, is unforgivable. I'm moving on, but you are mistaken; I will not always be here for you—peace out.

Best lyrics:

What makes you think I'm the one

Who'll be there when you're callin'?

What makes you think I'm the one

Who will catch you when you're fallin'?

Every little bit

Is there

To see

Every little bit

Of you

And me

What makes you think I'm the one

Who will love you forever?

Everything you do has been done

And this won't last forever

Song: I Know It's Over

Album: The Queen is Dead [1986]

Artist: The Smiths

This is a haunting song. Sad and poignant. It's often cited as The Smiths' "bleakest ballad" – it tells of a dying man reflecting on what he feels was his wasted and lonely life.

The quality of our lives is determined by the quality of our relationships - not by the size of our bank accounts or the number of our possessions.

Cherish the people who love you, love them back.

Best lyrics:

'Cause tonight is just like any other night

That's why you're on your own tonight

With your triumphs and your charms

While they're in each other's arms..."

It's so easy to laugh

It's so easy to hate

It takes strength to be gentle and kind

Over, over, over, over

Song: My Way

Album: Single Release [2016]

Artist: Calvin Harris

Whatever or whoever Calvin Harris was talking about when he wrote this song doesn't matter. The lyrics are clear and straightforward, and when you listen, feel free to apply them to anyone who hurt you - now it's time for them to get out of your way.

Despite the brutal lyric, it is an upbeat song that makes you feel like you have everything you need to get on with a successful life without the thing that was in your way.

You may not see it that way right now, but I assure you when the dust settles and the sun shines again, you'll have a renewed energy, making you feel like anything is possible. With this kind of attitude, a person more suited to you will come along.

Best lyrics:

Why wait to say

At least I did it my way

Lie awake, two-faced

But in my heart I understand

I made my move

And it was all about you

Now I feel so far removed

You were the one thing in my way

You were the one thing in my way

You were the one thing in my way

You were the one thing in my way

You were the one thing in my way

You were the one thing in my way

My way, oh way, oh way, oh way

My way, oh way, oh way, oh way

My way, oh way, oh way, oh way

My way, oh way, oh way, oh way

My way

My way

My way

Song: Werewolf

Album: The Idler Wheel Is Wiser Than the Driver of the Screw and Whipping Cords Will Serve You More Than Ropes Will Ever Do [2012]

Artist: Fiona Apple

So many of us do this. We are complicit in entering into a codependent relationship. We cut off our heads to make the other person 'OK.' Or make ourselves 'less' to support our partner.

It is common in codependent relationships for one person to try to sabotage the other. They would never admit this and maybe aren't even conscious of it. They do it because they struggle, consciously or unconsciously, with their own fears and lack of self-esteem.

We often enter into unspoken contracts with our partners whereby each individual pledges (unconsciously) to remain mired in the same slough in which we've become comfortable. Each partner bringing the other down.

My marriage became codependent. The best thing for me was that it ended in divorce. We can still support each other from afar – we have to because we share a child – without being together.

But as Fiona so aptly sings, "Nothing wrong when a song ends in the minor key."

Best lyrics:

I could liken you to a werewolf

The way you left me for dead

But I admit that I provided a full moon

And I could liken you to a shark

The way you bit off my head

But then again I was waving around a bleeding open wound

But you were such a super guy

'Til the second you get a whiff of me

We're like a wishing well and a bolt of electricity

But we can still support each other

All we gotta do is avoid each other

Nothing wrong when a song ends in a minor key

Song: I Will Survive

Album: Fashion Nugget [1996]

Artist: Cake

My favorite version of Gloria Gaynor's I Will Survive is Cake's, especially with the bleep to cover up the dirty word in the fourth verse. This is the ultimate "f^*k you" song.

It describes a person being toyed with by the person she loves deeply, only she finally wakes up and realizes that person doesn't love her but loves her hanging on. When someone keeps you 'in the wings' by occasionally dropping by – in your DMs, text messages, Facebook messenger, but won't commit fully, that isn't love.

The player is getting something from the fact that you're are always 'there.'

You understand this song when you finally say to yourself, No! Enough is enough. He doesn't love me. From now on, I'm thinking about myself.

Warning: When you're really happy and have moved on with someone who loves you, that is when this guy strikes again. Ignore him. He may have loved you once, he doesn't anymore.

Best lyrics:

Weren't you the one

Who tried to break me with desire?

Did you think I'd crumble?

Did you think I'd lay down and die?

Oh not I

I will survive

Yeah

As long as I know how to love

I know I'll be alive

Song: Modern Romance

Album: Fever to Tell [2003]

Artist: Yeah Yeah Yeahs

This song is just one long mantra on repeat, verse after verse and chorus after chorus about how there is no such thing as a modern romance, how nothing really lasts, especially love. It is a great song you'll want to play on repeat because the lyrics are not only apt, the melody is euphonious.

Best lyrics:

Don't hold on

Go get strong

Well don't you know

There is no

Modern romance

Time time is gone

It stops stops who it wants

Well I was wrong

It never lasts

And there is no

Well this is no

Modern romance

Song: My Future

Album: Single [2020]

Artist: Billie Eilish

Billie's lyrics are the ultimate love letter to herself. We expect nothing less from the authentic Ms. Eilish, this young lady stands in her power more than most 40-year-olds I know.

The only way someone can truly love someone else, is to love themselves first. Without self-love you have nothing to give to the other. One of the most attractive qualities in a person is to possess self-love and respect before they try to give that to anyone else.

Billie gets it, "Know I'm supposed to be unhappy

Without someone

But aren't I someone?"

Best lyrics:

Can't you hear me?

I'm not comin' home

Do you understand?

I've changed my plans

'Cause I, I'm in love

With my future

Can't wait to meet her

And I, I'm in love

But not with anybody else

Just wanna get to know myself

Song: 50 Ways To Leave Your Lover

Album: Still Crazy After All These Years [1975]

Artist: Paul Simon

If you need to get out a bad relationship, here are 50 ways to leave. Get out now, life is too short.

Best lyrics:

She said, “Why don’t we both

Just sleep on it tonight

And I believe in the morning

You’ll begin to see the light”

And then she kissed me

And I realized she probably was right

There must be fifty ways

To leave your lover

Fifty ways to leave your lover

Song: Cry Me a River

Album: Justified [2002]

Artist: Justin Timberlake

Basically, I gave you everything, treated you well, and you made other plans and cheated. Now, karma girl (or boy). The person who cheated becomes "the cheated on" and now I'm supposed to be a shoulder to cry on? No thanks, "now it's your turn to cry" and I no longer care.

Best lyrics:

You don't have to say, what you did

I already know, I found out from him

Now there's just no chance

With you and me

There'll never be

Don't it make you sad about it?

You told me you love me

Why did you leave me all alone

Now you tell me you need me

When you call me on the phone

Girl, I refuse

You must have me confused with some other guy

The bridges were burned

Now it's your turn, to cry

Song: Somebody That I Used to Know

Album: Making Mirrors [2011]

Artist: Gotye

This has to be included in every Anti-Valentine's Day playlist. Everyone can relate to a person's personality drastically changing when they leave you for someone else.

A study found 100% of men think their ex-wives are crazy after having an affair and leaving her for someone else—kidding, but not far from the truth.

When someone breaks up with you, and their personality does a 180, be grateful they left.

People show you who they really are in how they leave you.

Best lyrics:

You can get addicted to a certain kind of sadness

Like resignation to the end, always the end

So when we found that we could not make sense

Well, you said that we would still be friends

But I'll admit that I was glad it was over

But you didn't have to cut me off

Make out like it never happened and that we were nothing

And I don't even need your love

But you treat me like a stranger and that feels so rough

Song: Send My Love (To Your New Lover)

Album: 25 [2015]

Artist: Adele

"You set me free, send my love to your new lover." Like, I'm totally over this and moving on. I'm over you so much that your new lover will need all the love she can get.

Good riddance. Adele knows heartbreak.

Best lyrics:

I was too strong, you were trembling

You couldn't handle the hot heat rising (rising), mmm

Baby, I'm still rising

I was running, you were walking

You couldn't keep up, you were falling down (down), mmm

There's only one way down

I'm giving you up

I've forgiven it all

You set me free, oh

Send my love to your new lover

Treat her better

Song: Ex's & Oh's

Album: Love Stuff [2015]

Artist: Elle King

This song makes you miss being single. This lady is having fun in her youth. She doesn't have time to settle down.

When you are single, have fun. Enjoy it. It won't be like this forever, plus, the grass is always greener.

Best lyrics:

Now, there's one in California who's been cursing my name

'Cause I found me a better lover in the UK

Hey, hey, until I made my getaway

One, two, three, they gonna run back to me

'Cause I'm the best baby that they never gotta keep

One, two, three, they gonna run back to me

They always wanna come, but they never wanna leave

Ex's and the oh, oh, oh's they haunt me

Like ghosts, they want me to make 'em all

They won't let go

Ex's and oh's

Song: Are You F*^king Your Ex

Album: Earth to Dora [2020]

Artist: Eels

If you have to ask your partner if they are cheating on you, they're probably cheating on you. If you have a "gut" feeling that your partner is cheating on you, they're probably cheating on you.

Ugh, this song, he knows his partner is cheating, we've all been there, when something just doesn't feel right, you can't trust your partner and you know, deep down, that there is a valid reason why you have a bad feeling.

Best lyrics:

Where were you when I called last night?

Disappeared, we didn't even have a fight

My love is strange

Everything feels broken now

Don't know for sure, just know some how

My love it's done

I'm all alone in a house of horror

Evil lurks from the darkest corner

My heart is black

I get it, everyone likes sex

But I need to know

Just what is going on the late night's out

The days you disappear, I have to ask

Are you f*^king your ex?

Song: Idiot Wind

Album: Blood on the Tracks [1975]

Artist: Bob Dylan

This song is reportedly about Dylan's divorce from his wife Sara. It is really cutting and cruel and cathartic.

When you're reeling from a recent breakup and start to hate the person, blast this. It will make you feel better. No artist is better at insulting an ex-lover more than Dylan can with his poetic rants. He gets to the point, striking his target right throw the heart with his biting lyrics and dramatic, uneven vocals.

Bob and Sara's son, Jakob, claims this, and many other songs on Blood on the Tracks, are "his parents talking." Yikes. I love Dylan but would hate to be married to him. Dylan lashes out on his ex poetically, he is angry, as many of us are when we are hurt badly by the one we love the most.

Best Lyrics:

I noticed at the ceremony

Your corrupt ways had finally made you blind

I can't remember your face anymore

Your mouth has changed

Your eyes don't look into mine

The priest wore black on the seventh day

And sat stone-faced while the building burned

I waited for you on the running boards

Near the cypress trees, while the springtime turned

Slowly into autumn

Idiot wind

Blowing like a circle around my skull

From the Grand Coulee Dam to the Capitol

Idiot wind

Blowing every time you move your teeth

You're an idiot, babe

It's a wonder that you still know how to breathe

I can't feel you anymore

I can't even touch the books you've read

Every time I crawl past your door

I been wishin' I was somebody else instead

Down the highway, down the tracks

Down the road to ecstasy

I followed you beneath the stars

Hounded by your memory

And all your ragin' glory

Listen to the full 27 song playlist here: