2020 in Shuffle Mode

989 songs are in my most recent playlist - "Late Fall 2020" and I'm about to use that playlist to create "Winter 2021" - keeping the songs I still want to listen to right now, shedding the Christmas music and other songs I've grown tired of. I joke that my playlist has multiple personality syndrome and I'm kind of right. Spotify says I listened to 416 music genres this year, and these are usually all on the same playlist, played in shuffle mode. I get bored with too much of the same thing, so I load up my playlists and skip songs as needed. It was hard coming up with a sampler of 20 songs that got me through the year, but here is a sample.

1. Personal Hell by The Murder of My Sweet

This was my top song this year. The title "Personal Hell" seems to go well with the year 2020. Being stuck alone in an apartment with no company other than my 2 cats is a bit of a personal hell. Murder of My Sweet's website considers themselves Cinematic metal from Sweden. I haven't really explored much other music by this artist and probably should next year. The song was suggested to me in my Spotify Discover back in January but then it seemed to fit the rest of the year. I think the title and the chorus really resonated with me this year because 2020 was a bit of a personal hell for most of us. This also was not my only hell themed song. "Planet Hell" by Nightwish also ended up in my top songs of the year.

Hold on /Let go /Every time that I fall and you reach out your hand

Burning/ Frozen/ Still my mind is the one who is holding the chain

But I can see no sense in this/ Only heartache/ I am caught in

Your personal hell

2. Magico by Mika Mendes

Dancing is one of my hobbies and a few years ago I started learning kizomba, a dance that originated in Angola, evolving from semba and made its way into the social dance world where it further evolved into various kizomba fusion dances. I haven't been able to dance in what feels like forever but I can still listen to the music and watch videos and dream. This is a beautiful song and I love the lyrics. I picked a kizomba demonstration featuring the song rather than an official video because this song really represents the dance rather than just the music for me.

Tudo é natural (Everything is natural)

Tudo é suavi (Everything is smooth)

Tudo é mágico (Everything is magical)

3. Blood Countess by Karline

Karline's music style is mainly folk, but mainly inspired by popular culture. She has a few songs inspired by Game of Thrones that also made it to my playlist. I discovered her when this song popped up on my Spotify Discover playlist one day. I am a HUGE vampire geek and was super excited to hear a song about Elizabeth Bathory, who is said to be one of Bram Stoker's inspirations for Dracula. I could not get enough of this song for awhile - it spoke to my inner horror writer.

History is told by the victors

Heroic warriors and mad kings

Will you hear my story? (Will you hear my story?)

From the lips of Báthory? (the lips of Báthory?)

4. Yo No Sé Mañana by Luis Enrique

I entered a salsa dancing competition last winter but the event sadly was canceled. My dance partner picked this song and I listened to it nearly nonstop while developing a routine and working on it with him. This is the first routine I have ever choreographed and I hope to be able to perform one day. I love dancing salsa but I typically only listen to this genre when dancing.

Yo no sé mañana, yo no sé mañana (I don't know tomorrow)

Si estaremos juntos, si se acaba el mundo (If we will be together, if the world will end)

Yo no sé si soy para ti, si serás para mí (I don't know if I will be for you, if you will be for me)

Si lleguemos a amarnos o a odiarnos (If we will end up loving each other or hating each other)

Yo no sé mañana, yo no sé mañana quién va a estar aquí (I don't know tomorrow who will be here)

5. Lockdown by Amy Lee

Amy Lee is the lead singer for Evanescence. Many years ago when I first started listening to music on Pandora I created an Evanescence station that started my journey down a musical rabbit hole and introduced me to many of the artists I listen to today. "Bring me to Life" is still one of my go-to karaoke songs. I started my Spring 2020 playlist with this song in March, right as quarantine was beginning and I was told to start working from home. It seemed fitting at a time when everyone else I know was posting quarantine playlists based on humorous song titles.

Say the words

I can’t face the world

If I could say the words

Everything would be broken still

We are broken

6. Taki Taki by DJ Snake feat Selena Gomez, Ozuna, Cardi B

I first heard this song at a dance conference where I was taught some choreography to this song. And then it was used again in another dance class. It's been a favorite of mine ever since. I love the upbeat vibes and it reminds me of being able to go out and enjoy myself with my dance friends.

Báilame como si fuera la última vez (Dance me as if it were the last time)

Y enséñame ese pasito que no sé (And show me this step I don't know)

Un besito bien suavecito, bebé (A nice soft kiss baby)

Taki taki, taki taki, ¡rumba!

Wo-oh, oh-oh

Hi Music Hi Flow

7. Without You by Leslie Odem

Broadway music has been a staple in my household for as long as I can remember. My parents always had season tickets for the traveling Broadway shows and then I was one of the music geeks at my high school. Rent was popular when I went through high school so it has special significance to me and I fell in love with Hamilton as soon as I heard the soundtrack. This version of "Without You" sung by Leslie Odem Jr. who portrayed Aaron Burr in Hamilton's original cast quickly became one of my favorites.

The Earth turns

The sun burns

But I'd die, without you

8. Dis-moi qui tu es by Amel Bent

When I first heard this song I fell in love with the raw emotion in her voice and really couldn't get enough of this song. I've had a couple past relationships that made me feel like this, leaving me with a weary head and heart. I feel like some of the lyrics really resonate with the overall feeling of 2020. It's damaged us a little more each day. But at the same time, being able to express these emotions is helpful.

Mon cœur est fatigué (My heart is weary)

Ma tête est fatiguée (My head is weary)

La douleur infligée (The pain you inflicted)

Quand tu m'as affligée (When you afflicted me)

Chaque jour un peu plus abîmée (Every day a little more damaged)

Mon cœur est abîmé (My heart is damaged)

Comment te pardonner ? (How to forgive you?)

Ma vie t'appartenait (My life was yours)

Mais je ne sais plus qui tu es (But I don't know who you are)

Dis-moi qui tu es (Tell me who you are)

9. Poison DJ Kakah, Archie & Sizzle

DJ Kakah is famous in the Brazilian Zouk dance scene as both a DJ and a dancer. Archie & Sizzle have done a number of zouk/kizomba songs and I added a lot of their music to my playlists this year. I absolutely love the zouk choreography in this music video and the very clean beat throughout the song. It's one of my current favorite songs to dance zouk to, especially someone who's a relatively new dancer because that beat is so prominent.

I cannot stay here with you cause your love is poison

I cannot stay here with you cause your love is poison

So I gotta move on, move on, move on

10. My Oh My by Camila Cabello

I've had a few Camila Cabello songs on my playlists and haven't seen her music videos until recently. I love the humor in them and her use of old movie/tv show genres. I think a lot of her songs are fun and sexy. Enjoy life while you can. If we can't go out and have fun in 2020, at least we can listen to music about it. "He's only here for one thing but so am I."

They say he likes a good time (My oh my)

He comes alive at midnight (Every night)

My mama doesn't trust him (My oh my)

He's only here for one thing, but (Let's go, so am I)

11. King of Brooklyn by Devil Doll

I first heard this song almost immediately after breaking up with an ex and did a double-take at one of the lyrics - right as it repeated itself. "I want to kiss you then punch you in the face." Did she really just say that? Yes, there she said it again. 2020 does seem a bit like a bad boyfriend in some ways. I've also been single most of the past couple of years and guys are jerks when you're dating, I've wished I could punch several in the face, even without having met them in person. I guess it's not all that surprising this song keeps returning to my playlist.

Everytime you kiss my face, and take me to that very special place

Why did you love me? Was it just for the chase?

I want to kiss you, Then punch you in the face. (2x)

12. Stuck on a Feeling by Prince Royce and Snoop Dog

I know Prince Royce mainly for his bachata songs (another Latin dance) but he's crossed over into more mainstream English language music as well. The song also reminds me a bit of the oldies song "Hooked on a Feeling" and memories of listening to other oldies songs with my dad. Yeah, I kind of got stuck on this song for awhile.

Stuck on a feeling

Just can't stop, once ain't enough

Better lock this down, better box it up

Gotta work me out, make it real

Gotta make it count, get stuck on a feeling

13. Trois Vierges by Epica Feat. Roy Khan

Roy Khan is the former lead singer of the group Kamelot. Epica and Kamelot have been among my favorite groups for years. Most of their songs are Symphonic Metal but this is a much more lyric song that I find very soothing. I love Epica because I can sing along with most of their music. Both singers have incredibly beautiful voices. This song keeps coming back to my playlist year after year, especially when I need something to relax to. I needed this song very much during 2020.

Deep inside hides a lie

Where can we try to seek

A way so this will die

14. The Lunatics Have Taken Over the Asylum by Collide

This song was originally on my Halloween playlist but somehow made its way onto my regular playlist. After several months in quarantine with my cats and with all the craziness going on in the outside world, it does feel a bit like an asylum. And the lunatics have taken over.

The lunatics have taken over the asylum

Take away my right to choose

The lunatics have taken over the asylum

Take away my point of view

The lunatics have taken over the asylum

The lunatics have taken over the asylum

15. Yorktown from Hamilton

I was counting down the days for Hamilton to be on Disney+. I was lucky enough to see Hamilton when it was on tour in my city but the ability to watch the original cast whenever I wanted was amazing. Yorktown is actually my favorite song from Hamilton. It's all about that final battle when we won the war and it incorporates elements from other songs in the musical. It's one of my go-to songs when I need that emotional rush and a bit of a pick me up. (And it also has a shout out to Rochambeau - the general my middle school was named after!)

Tens of thousands of people flood the streets

There are screams and church bells ringing

And as our fallen foes retreat

I hear the drinking song they’re singing…

The world turned upside down

16. Persefone by Nostra Morte

Somehow Spotify has managed to catch on to my varied taste in music and found me something that hits multiple interests. Fascination with opera and operatic sound, dark lyrics, metal, and music in Spanish. I also like the Persephone / Hades story from Greek mythology that is implied by the title and in the lyrics. Watching the video for the first time, I also see vampires featured. I might stop writing here just to watch the video a few times.

Quédate aquí (bebe de mí) Stay here (drink of me)

Quiero probar (come mi piel) I want to taste (eat my skin)

Hasta saciar (es para ti) Until you satisfy (it is for you)

Esta ansiedad (todo mi ser) This anxiety (all of my being)

Siento poder (late por ti) I feel power (It beats for you)

Nuestra pasión (mi corazón) Our passion (my heart)

No tiene fin Has no end

17. Breathe By Mickey Blue

I first heard this song at a zouk dance social entitled "Zouk Therapy," where much of the music played was lower key, encouraging more flowing movements, connection with your partner rather than more energetic songs. This song has both helped me while missing dance and has reminded me to take stock of things and just breathe.

Inhale, exhale, breathe with me

Inhale, exhale, be with me

Inhale, exhale, we're exactly where we're suppose to be

Inhale, exhale, it's as easy as one, two, three

18. Dance with the Dragon by Dark Sarah Feat JP Leppaluto

I like the operatic sound and the metal in the music but something about the story in the lyrics of this song fascinates me. It makes me think of the Mina/Dracula and Christine/Phantom relationships I have been fascinated since I first read Dracula or listened to The Phantom of the Opera. I've had this song on my playlist on and off for a couple of years and took time to explore this artist a bit more this year, but this is still my favorite song of theirs.

Take my all, I surrender, surrender

Look at me and the way I ask for forgiveness, kindness and help

Take my all, I surrender, surrender

I will die another day, another way

19. Faz Sentir by Naldo Benny Feat. K. Rose

I frequently play dance videos on YouTube and came across a video of a couple dancing to this song. I had to find it on Spotify and kept playing it, dancing around the apartment listening to the song. I just loved the positive energy. I played it again to write this up and had to get up and dance for a bit!

E dança aquela dança louca, toda sensual ( And dance that crazy dance, all sensual)

Olhando dentro dos meus olhos eu passo mal (Looking into my eyes I feel sick)

E dança aquela dança louca e me faz assim (And dance that crazy dance and make me like this)

Seu corpo me alucina e me faz sentir (Your body hallucinates me and makes me feel)

20. Please Don't Make Me Love You from Dracula the Musical by Frank Wildhorn

If you haven't guessed by now I'm a HUGE fan of Dracula. (My 2 cats are even named Mina and Dracula!) I first read an adapted for children version of Dracula when I was 7 years old and have been OBSESSED ever since. This song appeared in my Spotify Discover playlist sometime this summer and I looked it up after listening to it for weeks. Apparently the musical never had more than a short run and a cast recording. I added the entire cast recording to my early fall/Halloween playlist and still absolutely love this song.

Please don't make me love you

Please don't make me need you

Simplify my life just by setting me free!

Promise me you'll do this

Only you can do this

Please don't make me love you

Unless you love me

It was difficult picking 20 songs when my list of songs I've listened to this year is probably more than 2020 songs. A mixture of genres and moods, some quite dark, some light. I am always on the lookout for new music to listen to and I hope 2021 brings me more.