Living with anxiety and what I've learned so far
I've experienced anxiety from a very early age. I lived with my mom for most of my childhood, and she was everything I had at that time. Around when I was 6 or 7, I started having anxiety about losing my mom. At night, I pretended to sleep until she went to bed, and throughout the night, I would put my finger under her nose to check if she was breathing. This type of behavior evolved during my teenage years, and as a result of some unfortunate events, it intensified. I now had anxiety about public speaking, traveling, health, making friends, etc. I always felt like something horrible will happen, and I should always be on the lookout. But I managed to keep it under control somehow and went to college. My major was design-based, and my success relied heavily on the judgment of others. And at that point, at the fresh age of 19, I broke down. I couldn't speak or present my work to my professors without my heartbeat going up to 120. My hands would freeze, my throat would dry up, and I couldn't even give logical answers to any questions about my work. I felt horrible about myself and I thought this was going to be the end of me. I've decided to see a therapist with the insistence of my mom. I saw different therapists on and off throughout my education, and I've learned many tips and tricks about dealing with anxiety. Here's what I know: