Moyana Gebhardt
Bio
Artist of life, oracle and friend to the spirits, Beloved, thinker, feeler, misfit, seeker of truth. Self published author. Neurodivergent. Mother of 4. At a crossroads. Anima mundi:: linktr.ee/moyana
Stories (28/0)
Charlotte
Charlotte felt golden inside. But everything she touched turned to ash. For years, despite the golden thread glowing in her heart, everything in her life seemed to crumble. As she walked through her experiences, it was as if she could see even the flowers that grew for her so happily for a time, just suddenly wither and disintegrate in front of her eyes. It didn’t make any sense; to how she felt in her heart and the Love that had been put there by her Grandparents during her early years. They said she was special but if that was true, why did she only seem to find curses all around her? She found herself surrounded by people who said all the right things and because she was pure of heart, she opened to them willingly. She knew Love is the greatest gift and force in the universe, and was so happy to share that with others. But as she got older and found that people lie and hurt and hit and do the most atrocious things all while saying they Love you, that maybe she was wrong all this time. Charlotte only ever wanted to be seen and Loved and give the same in return. It was the purest form of Love. No demands. Just Love. And sharing such beauty with each other.
By Moyana Gebhardtabout a year ago in Fiction
Lucky: 2
Three years ago, Baba Yaga sent me two gifts. A new car that I wasn’t sure how I got approved for or would pay for, and a King reincarnated in the form of a Great Pyrenees puppy. That was the year I ended my last significant relationship, the one that took the prize for being the most fucked up. If you’ve ever been in what some people call a narcissistic relationship or been psychologically abused in some way, you know exactly what I mean when I say I’m still wondering if I’m the problem. I’ve been apologizing for things that weren’t my responsibility since I was small. And I spent those two years apologizing for everything, diving into therapy, taking meds to fix projected diagnoses, and doing everything I could to fix my brokenness that was causing everyone else so much harm. All while undiscovered tumors invaded my womb making me sick. All while my soul was leading me deep into how autism shows up for a female. Midlife changes a woman (or anyone born with a uterus) and this would be the straw that broke the camel’s back. It’s me, I’m the camel. I’d gone without water for too long. I gave it away. I sold it. I bargained with it. And then I was dry and unable to sustain life any longer.
By Moyana Gebhardtabout a year ago in Journal
Lucky
I’ve started to wonder if I’m meant to be uncomfortable as a life path. Sure, you could look at any number of systems using my birth info to see blatant signage about discomfort but there’s a part of me that rejects the notion that any of us were meant to suffer endlessly. Hardship becomes the pressure that makes a diamond, as they say, but when is enough, enough? When does it become a force that shatters the diamond? I’ve started to wonder if I came into this world with a curse and then continued to meet people who were put off by my multi-faceted shine and sent me a bucket of evil eyes for good measure.
By Moyana Gebhardtabout a year ago in Journal