Matthew Simmons
Bio
Black Writer from Houston, Tx. Fiction is one of my greatest passions. I love stories, heroes, comedies, romantic adventures, and suspenseful stories.
Stories (1/0)
Oasis Somewhere
Oasis Somewhere by Matthew Simmons “Okay, stop me if you’ve heard this one before. Four nuns walk into confessional. The first goes in and starts, ‘father forgive me for I have sinned.’ Then the priest goes ‘how have you sinned my child’ and she replies ‘I’ve had impure thoughts about men. ‘Say five Hail Mary’s and wash your hair in the holy water basin my daughter’ says the priest and she leaves and the next comes in. This time ‘I have gazed impurely on a man’s body father,’ and he goes, ‘Say ten Hail Mary’s and wash your eyes in the holy water. When the second nun leaves the priest hears arguing outside the confessional, so he steps out to see what’s going on and he sees nuns three and four are heated. Nun four says, I don’t care what he says, I’m not washing my mouth out with that water after you!’ Kyla finishes her joke as she climbs over a beat-up old Honda Civic on blocks. There was no laugh from her audience, the stuffed bear dangling from the back of her backpack. Her father never wanted her to know crass jokes like that but the engineer, Mr. Bartley knew hundreds of them by heart. When they made supply runs, Mr. Bartley was sure to tell at least two dirty jokes. One going and, one coming back and at some point they just stuck, but that was five years ago. Mr. Bartley lives only in those jokes now, and Kyla knows at least half of them. Half alive is better than not alive at all right?
By Matthew Simmons3 years ago in Fiction