The decision to see a therapist was not an easy one to make. It was a constant nudge in the back of my brain for months until a rough night of insomnia forced me to finally make the call, and wait anxiously. Once the day came for me to sit in front of this welcoming stranger, chosen for me by an in-take specialist, a tremendous amount of guilt pounded in my body. I began to shiver, like I was cold, though the Arizona temperature was a comfortable sixty degrees for January. This feeling I knew well. If you were ever sitting right next to me when this reaction appeared, you'd never know. It was a very internal environment. And it was ruining my life.