Mom to a Hard Kid, Daughter to a Hard Mom.
Telling my story so I might be able to help you in the future.
Grieving a Living Parent: Week 2
This week was easier. I didn't need as much time for self-care to cope with the feelings of loss and grief. There were a few moments where I found myself really wishing I could call my dad and tell him what I had accomplished, and some deep sadness at not being able to. Even those didn't last very long, and I still managed to celebrate my little victories.
Grieving a Living Parent: Week One
The first week was hard. I spent most of my time this week trying to do self-care and find new people to share my news and updates with. That used to be my dad. Hours and hours spent on the phone when he was driving a truck. We talked almost every day and I thought our relationship was something it was never going to be. I've never let my mother very close because of her behaviors in times gone by - and her unwillingness to address them in a way that is helpful and healing to either of us. So it was just trying to move on from the relationships I thought I was having with them.
I Disowned My Parents
No one expects their parents to get everything right, every time. I think we can all agree that sometimes our parents' flaws make them more relatable to us, and easier for us to talk to. A mom who panics when she loses track of time is a space for an anxious teen to find common ground. A dad who pushes you maybe a little too hard at something he thinks you love is a learning opportunity for you both. But sometimes our parents make decisions that cannot allow for growth or healing in either direction. And that is where the intersection of mental health and societal expectation happens.