We Always Loved You
I got her when I was ten. I lost her by twenty-three. She’s a part of my growing up, maybe even the biggest one. Anyone who’s been through what I have will understand. Anyone that hasn’t most likely can’t. But that’s okay. I don’t judge. When it happens, it happens. Pain or freedom. That’s the choice. Your decision. Not hers, but yours. Freedom for her, pain for you, and vice versa. There is nothing you can do when you’ve done all you can. You had the time you had together. You always knew it wouldn’t be forever. Sometimes, I function. Other times, I break. It’s getting better though, or easier at least. At times, it feels difficult to express what I feel. If I do I think that I will lose myself, isn’t that scary?
The Last Time I Saw You
I would have loved to spend some more time with you now that it was actually possible, but I do understand if you didn't want to. It got pretty weird when I walked up to you. I was so incredibly nervous, it was hot and you were cold, not that I can blame you for it. It was very clear that you didn't want anything to do with me, at least not then. Although I did see how surprised you were to see me. If you were glad or not was impossible for me to judge. I was, as I said, incredibly nervous and focused on what to say.