Chaosstar
Bio
Mom, life, thoughts, dreams, wants, desires. Trying to keep everything floating and my sanity in check. Writing to find myself and commit to the decisions I make and draw a map towards reclaiming all I’ve lost.
Stories (4/0)
Happy New Year
I’m a high school teacher. Every year I get a week long break for Thanksgiving, 2 weeks for Christmas, 1 week for Spring break, and 2 months for summer. Most teachers would agree that the time off is never enough. I know that sounds crazy. All that time off and its not enough. But the emotional, mental and physical requirements of the job is insane. It’s not just about teaching, its about providing a safe and welcoming enviroment for over a 100 kids on a daily basis. We are therapists, parents, disciplinarians, comedians, actors, performers everyday, all day.
By Chaosstar2 years ago in Confessions
A moment with hope.
Around this time last year, I wrote about hope. I was angry and hurt. Life was just dark and dreary. The days endless and the nights evolving into scenes of helplessness. I was exsiting only because I had to. Because of responsibility and need. I existed. But I didn’t live. I couldn’t laugh. Anger simmered within every part of me. And hope, that elusive light of possibility. It seemed to be a cruel, unfair privilege that I had no use for. I didn’t want to hope. Because at that time, everything was dark. I couldn’t see a way out. There was no light. Just the daily grind filled with a sense of overwhelming helplessness that weighed down my existence. I worked, took care of my kids and fell asleep with an unsettling feeling of wishing tomorrow would never come.
By Chaosstar2 years ago in Confessions
Broken in fear
We have been married for 9 years now. In love for maybe two. Hated each other for at least 5. And two years...spent in limbo trying to figure it out. It’s at the end now. A marriage over. Broken and scattered. The betrayals and hurt between us enough to flood a river. Sharp words and sad intentions are all that is really left.
By Chaosstar3 years ago in Confessions
