Barbara Andres
Bio
Late bloomer. Late Boomer. I speak stories in many voices. Pull up a chair, grab a cup of tea, and stay awhile.
Stories (24/0)
Better Bunker Snacks and Hacks
So, like us, you've been storing provisions in your doomsday bunker since at least the Clinton administration. We all remember how real shit got as Y2K approached, and we knew ol' Bill wasn't gonna save us, the old swamp monster. So, we went to bed on December 31, 1999 thinking we'd wake up dead. But on January 1, when we emerged from our caves, bunkers, panic rooms, and fallout shelters, we were pretty shocked to find the world hadn't ended after all.
By Barbara Andres2 years ago in Humans
Then and Now
I’ve been blessed to have dogs in my life as a child and as an adult. Today, we have three. My husband — the family chef — cooks their food, and we sometimes have family dinner or family breakfast together. On a typical Sunday, family dinner might be a tuna casserole, ours with onions and spices, theirs unflavored with extra meat and finely chopped noodles for small teeth. After Thanksgiving, they have leftovers for days just like we do. Theirs, finely chopped dark meat with mashed potatoes; ours, everything else.
By Barbara Andres2 years ago in Petlife
The Right to Not
At a time when freedoms are under siege and high ground to defend them is hard to find, when “it’s my Constitutional right to…” or “it’s my God-given right to” or “I’m entitled to…” dominates the public conversation, there’s another right.The right to — not.
By Barbara Andres2 years ago in Humans
Dazed and Confused
Hello, Earthling. We’re here on a research mission. Perhaps you can help us. Our ship landed in what we understand to be an office park, where sometimes humans do business. We were watching you remotely for a long time before our on-planet mission was approved, and we’re perplexed about your work uniforms.
By Barbara Andres2 years ago in Fiction
Our Softest Memories
A few days ago, I was reminiscing about a few things I miss from childhood, which got me thinking about the women in my — or, anyone’s — family tree: treasured aunts and great-aunts, grandmothers and great-grandmothers, mothers, older cousins, big sisters.
By Barbara Andres2 years ago in Humans
Tales From the Dog Bed
My name is Jessie. I live in Santa Monica with my sisters Maggie and Zena and the two furless creatures: our butler and housekeeper. The naked ones call themselves our parents, but let’s face it, their job is to clean the house, and, more importantly, cook and serve our food. So who’s kidding who?
By Barbara Andres2 years ago in Petlife
The Vendor Pitch
Liquid lunches haven't been a thing since the 1980s, but if 2020 and 2021 didn't induce a revival of the trend, then nothing ever will. Who knows, maybe it's already started. What do you think all those people who never turn on their Zoom camera during meetings or who chug "coffee" at sixty second intervals are really doing?
By Barbara Andres2 years ago in Journal