If I hadn't.

Come, sit, let's examine it out.

The rumors are bouncing, the fire engulfed;

Let's cut the bullshit, let's end the war.

If I hadn't said yes, I wouldn't be the villian.

If I hadn't said yes, maybe we would've never been in this shared experience.

If I hadn't believed you in every way, feeling and sense.

If I hadn't trusted you that day, playing knight in shining armor over my grief- maybe I wouldn't have had such a lengthy, pricey karma debt to pay.

Maybe if I had avoided the sob story, I assured myself was the naive, nerd way of approaching me- maybe if I hadn't given you the benefit of the doubt.

Or maybe I shouldn't have trusted you, every time you promised it wasn't going to happen again; lying through your teeth because we know how vain a man can get; calculating the justification and turning me into the scapegoat, once again.

Maybe if I had just been a little more confident in myself, I would have avoided you altogether, and be watching this happen to another from afar.

Maybe if I had been loved better as a kid, my confidence wouldn't have been shaken- and your tricks would've been called out as manipulative bullshit.

The excuses, the reasoning, the resolutions and justifications can travel for light years beyond the the life admitted; two wrongs can be a right and yet, only one side has accepted responsible fault and made admittance.

Maybe if I had just taken your word for it, that I was too good for you, I would've saved myself a lot of heartbreak, but I learned instead and turned into an alchemist you will never reach. you choose to settle in being a victim.

Maybe if I hadn't given you the chance, I wouldn't be healing from a trauma I wouldn't understand without experience. Two things can be right, while the situation was always a reaction.