How To Deal With Dating App Burnout

We asked Leo Hagström, dating coach and relationship expert at Swedish online love and relationship magazine Passionerad about dating burnout in a try to cover the most common questions about this nowadays quite common phenomenon.

1. Why are dating apps so exhausting?

Dating apps make your brain flooded with information. You are constantly picking up and analyzing small details in a person's profile and in just one or two seconds you have decided whether to swipe right or left. This process takes much more energy than we think and leads to you ending up feeling drained and exhausted.

On top of this, add that you don’t find what you are looking for and it suddenly becomes even way more draining.

2. What is dating app burnout?

It’s when a person feels that dating apps take more energy than they give. Dating app burnout is often caused by long term use of dating apps without any success.

3. What are some signs someone might be experiencing dating app burnout?

- You use your dating app / apps even though you don’t like it. Despite this feeling, you can’t stop scrolling, because your next love gotta be there somewhere, something that creates a destructive behavior where not using the app is no option, even though it makes you feel drained and tired.

- No one catches your attention and you’re low on motivation to get to know other’s. Often you are not even excited about going on dates because you already know how the story will end.

- It feels like you’ve been scrolling forever and what used to be exciting and fun now just feels like an endless task and you don’t even know why you’re doing it anymore.

4. What are some tips for dealing with dating app burnout?

- Take a break from dating apps! Delete or pause your profile, delete the app from your phone and give it one month. In the meantime, go out and try to connect with people in real life, either friends or family or new people. You can for example practice a hobby you like or by engaging in other social activities such as volunteering. This will help you start feeling excited about seeing people again!

- Reflect why you never settle down with a person you are matching with. Can you see any patterns in your dating app conversations or on your dates? It can be easier to discuss this with a friend or family member to get perspective. By doing this you can change your approach on dating apps, because the one you’re having now is obviously not working.

- Define what you are looking for and what your purpose with online dating is. To set a purpose and a goal for yourself makes it easier to use dating apps the way you want to use them.

- Accept that online dating might not be the right way of finding love for you. Many people need to meet someone spontaneously in a situation where they aren’t really expecting love. To realize online dating isn’t for you is not a failure, but can be the best thing that happened to you in a long while.

- If you decide to come back to online dating, set up a rule for yourself to not swipe on any person you could not go out with. Then give some of the first five people you match with a proper chance! Give that person at least three dates and in the meantime, pause your dating profile. This will higher your chances of not denying someone too soon.

To sum up

If you have been on dating apps for a long time and feel exhausted from it - take a break! Also consider not to come back for quite a while, and spend the time rather on offline dating or with family and friends. Hopefully, and most likely, something good will come from it!