Wanky Challenge Update

Don't we all wince when the chap with the guitar at the party sings one of his own songs? It might almost be less perverse if he dropped his trousers. Please, man, put it away!

-Me, "Naked Truth"

On this occasion, I asked that you do not put it away.

A little while ago, I posted a song challenge.

I've done a few fiction ones, or fiction/poetry, but I'd never done a song one before. It's here, if you'd like a look:

And it's still going, because I didn't want to put a closing date on it.

It's been open for a couple of months, and there is another challenge I'd like to run, so this feels like a good time to gently bring this one to a close.

I will leave it open until Sunday 15th November, so if you wanted to give it a go, you still have a few days.

TL;DR - the prompt was, as follows:

write a passionate ballad to yourself

This was pinched from an episode of Taskmaster. You can do lyrics only, or you can do a melody as well.

The Entries

There were six entries. They're all starkly different, which I love. It makes it hard to pick a favourite, but that's a neat problem to have.

The Kendall A. Defoe Ballad

Rock On - Julie Lacksonen

I'm the Best - Mike

Walrus & Carpenter Lament - Meredith Harmon

This is a sea shanty, rather than a ballad, but it's brilliant! It has everything a good shanty should surely have: a big creature with a humourous moustache, a sing-along chorus, and dildoes. It hasn't had enough eyes, which is a crying shame, so go and look or I'll Clockwork Orange you:

Paul - Clearing out the Catacombs

Definitely listen to this one, you'll lose out if you just read it:

Sara Wilson - Lips of Arsenic

I love this, and so will you!

Vocal loved it, it got Top Story. Well done Sara 🎉 👏 🎊

I Can't Quit You (And God Knows I've Tried) - A. Bell

I'll update with any final entries next week, and then send out the last tips.

THANK YOU

to everyone who took part!

Give it up, please, for our Wankers: Kendall, Julie, Mike, Meredith, Paul and Sara 👏 👏 👏 👏

What's next?

I am currently cooking up a baking challenge, so please look out for that. This will be suitable for pretty much anyone, even if you can burn water. The idea is to have fun.

I also have a fiction challenge running at the moment, which you can read about here:

The short version: write a short story inspired by the quote, sometimes dead is better. (Stephen King, Pet Semetary.)

You have until the end of the month for this one.

I feel like two concurrent unofficial challenges from one person is more than enough, which is why I'm wrapping up the song one to make room for the baking one.

What else?

New Books

I'm working on putting all my recipes into a book at the moment. This will be my own irreverent, slightly slapdash approach to cooking. I don't have quite enough recipes to fill it out yet, so it won't be ready for a while, but it's another reason I'm running the challenge. More details to follow on that.

I've got enough short fiction for at least one more collection, and probably enough poetry to fill a small book, as well. I've also got two novellas I'm arranging covers and stuff for.

Speaking of books...

Since I have a few words to go to meet the word count, I might as well mention the books I have out already. So far they're all short story collections

Glass Dolls - twelve of my best, at the time

Summer Leaves - my effort at moving you through the seasons in story form

Paper Cuts - my newest baby!

Thank you for reading!