Story Contest: Follow Up & Feedback
A follow up on that story contest I entered; the feedback they gave me; helpful advice and writing exercise shared
One of the things I love about Vocal is that they make it very easy to enter the challenges. You write and submit on the platform. As long as you have a handle of basic grammar and paragraphs, formatting is a doddle.
It's worthwhile to note (and I know a lot of you will already know this, so please pardon me for a moment while I teach my Granny to suck eggs,) that in most writing contests, formatting is very important. Your story can get passed over if it formatted to a specific standard. By which I don't mean "good enough", I mean an industry standard. It's also worth learning about because it's the same as for submitting to publishers. I'm working on another piece specifically about this, because it's a tool we should all have in our arsenal. This is relevant, for reasons that will become clear very shortly...
The Follow Up
Recently, I wrote a piece about a Story Contest "Scam". Here it is:
It's important to mention that it wasn't a scam, but it felt like one.
Here is the TL;DR...
I recently entered a short story contest. There was an entry fee, which I know is fairly standard. I paid extra for judges feedback on my entry. The "feedback" arrived today, and it's not feedback on my submission. It's just generic advice, and feedback on the winning entry. I feel sure that's not what I paid for, and I'm unsure what I want from them, or what to do next.
I want to highlight the fact this is a long-running contest. I did my homework ahead of time to make sure of that, and to get familiar with the rules and know what to expect. They changed things after I entered, and that's where the snafu occurred.
Since writing that piece, and after considering all your thoughtful comments, I sent an email to them, in reply to their generic advice:
At the time I submitted my entry (end of February), I paid for feedback on my submission. I wouldn't have paid for this. It is not helpful for me. When did this offering change from individual feedback to more generic writing/story contest advice? Please advise.
They replied:
Sorry to hear there has been some confusion here.
We will arrange for the judges to send you some individual feedback on your submission early in Sept.
They did exactly as promised, and you know what? I was happy I paid for it. It was good. It was helpful. Some of it was reiterating things I already knew. Some of it was pointing out glaring errors I should have spotted in my own work. Things I know to watch out for, but still missed. Lesson learned: I should've outsourced proofreading, because I was too close to the document.
The Feedback
Here it is, the good, the bad, and the ugly:
Congrats: This story features a confident first person voice, and an intriguing persona who draws us into the tale. The sci-fi themes are relevant and fascinating, as society moves towards a consideration of the possibility of the preservation of life. Topicality is good. Pacing is good, and tension is high from the outset and maintained. The focalizing through the child, who is non-omniscient, helps us to feel their emotions, and adds to the satisfying revelation of exposition.
OK, so far, so good.
Formatting: For a professional look, consider indenting the first line in each paragraph (except the first paragraph in each chapter). Don’t include a space between each paragraph.
I'm embarrassed I messed up on that front, but I know exactly why I did. Because I am so used to the formatting here on Vocal! I changed the font and size and line spacing... But totally forgot to indent the paragraphs, and lose the extra line between them. It looked right to me. If you're submitting elsewhere as well as here, watch out for things like this.
Proofreading: In the following sentence we recommend a capital letter for the word ‘but’.
I disagree with them about this. I might well be wrong, but I created the sentence they're talking about exactly as is, on purpose. Oh, well.
Tense: At the moment the tale appears to flick between past tense and present tense. Present tense: “I think it looking out of these boring blinds…” Past tense: “They did that thing again, sharing a look.” Recommend you choose one tense and stick with it. For instance, change the second sentence to: “They do that thing again, sharing a look.”
Oh boy, do I have egg on my face! This is what I'm talking about! I know to be mindful of tense-hopping and a couple of sentences early in the piece still slipped through. Dammit.
Descriptions: The characters, plotting, pace, and themes are all excellent. This tale is not being served by the descriptions currently: They are perhaps too thin, or quickly sketched at the moment. Here is an exercise to try: Imagine you are entering a description writing contest. Now write the best paragraph description you can of each character in your story, and each setting in the story. Now include those paragraphs (or the bits of them you like). Show off those powers of description we suspect you have.
I've got so used to cutting swathes of material for my daily microfiction stories. This alerted me to the fact that maybe I'm going too far and getting rid of valuable descriptions or (oh dear) failing to even develop them in the first place, knowing they will only get pruned! Note to self: write as much as possible! Do not pre-edit! The description has to be there, even if an explicit version doesn't make it into the text.
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Thank you for reading! I hope you found some of this interesting or helpful!
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L.C. Schäfer
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