Story 1000

Actually, the title of this is a little disingenuous as this is actually story 999.

Let's reflect on that, shall we? 999 published stories on here. All my very own work. And the next one I release will be my 1000th.

That, I think, is quite the achievement, n'est-ce pas? It's made me contemplate my time on Vocal and what it's all been about.

When I started writing on here, it was to see if I could. Dreams of success were uppermost, maybe the prospect even of garnering some money from it and becoming a household name...

That was in 2021 when I didn't work, the kids were at school and I didn't want to spend my days cleaning. Is there anything more demoralising or soul-sapping than housework? So, why not try my hand at writing? I was reviewing too, still do, and some of the books I'd read I thought were okay-ish. In some instances, I thought I could do better. I found Reedsy and entered some of their prompt challenges, sharing the results with relatives who were encouraging. I placed in one. And then someone pointed me towards Vocal. Perhaps I could be a successful writer...

Ah, dreams. Always leading you on! I think I knew it was a tall order but I'm nothing if not optimistic and I appreciate what I write. Sometimes I return to read things I've written and my main emotion, and I don't mean to sound arrogant but merely self-assured, is pride and I think "I wrote that, those are my words and I really like this story!" I mean, there's always room for improvement but I don't think I'm bad at this writing lark.

Over my time on Vocal, I've suffered some crises of confidence. Not too deep, you understand, but occasionally, I think it would be nice to be noticed more. I still have not achieved a challenge win, although I've placed a few times and to date, I have 77 Top Stories which is a great accomplishment. Still, that challenge win...

However, I'm not one to mope so my stance now is less seeking the win and more about releasing my voice. I've realised that I'm less writer, more storyteller. I write poetry too but that's more about conserving something in me rather than crafting it for others. I mean, I like trying to encapsulate that feeling, emotion, perspective, experience and words are my medium. I like to share it too but it's the process that I like the most. It's like shaping something out of clay or preserving something in a bottle so you can take out the stopper in the future and have another sniff.

I did, at one stage, try to write things according to what I thought was wanted. I desperately wanted to please the judges, for them to place me on that winners' podium and give me a metaphorical pat on the back. And don't get me wrong - I'd still like a win. But in having the winning as my goal, I was not centred on my writing, if that makes sense. It felt too contrived, not my voice: a voice pretending to be something else. I felt pretentious and the win never came anyway. I got my disappointment and angst out in some poems which was quite satisfying. I don't return to those for a sniff!

So. Writing. It's a hobby. I don't see it being anything more than that to me. It's part of who I am, a big part, but it's not everything and I think if I was to dedicate myself to a writing career, I'd lose other things that matter to me and I'm not prepared to do that. I'm not complex, I don't think, but I am many things. I don't want to just be writing.

But when I think about how I've written so much in limited time strands and how varied it is, I do wonder if writing holds more for me in the future. People have asked me if I'm going to publish and I have toyed with that especially after the year of writing a microfiction every day. 2024 represents a third of what I've published on Vocal, a massive chunk! That was such fun but so high pressured! I don't know how I did it! Where did the ideas come from?

The next piece that I publish will be number 1000! Now, I have to think about what that's going to be. I don't want it to be a book review. I want it to be something that is quintessentially me. I could do a poem but I think it will be a story. Poems are good 'n' all but I think stories are my thing. I could have used this reflective piece and did think about that but they're not my strength either, I don't think. Revealing maybe but a bit "meh"!

For those of you who regularly read my stuff, thank you. I do write for me first and foremost but in sharing it, I write for you too and I appreciate your comments and reflections enormously and love to see your names pop up. Thank you.

And perhaps, you'll place a little comment on my 1000th piece when I release it, like putting your initials on a monument (why do people do that?).

See you there, I hope, at the 1000th. I'm looking forward to it.