I Got My First Top Story

I need to be honest about something.

For most of the last year, writing here felt a little like talking into an empty room.

No Top Story. No real traction. I'd hit publish, close my laptop, and tell myself not to check the stats again. Then I'd check them anyway. Nothing. Maybe a view or two. Maybe not.

I kept writing because I loved it. Or maybe because I didn't really know how to stop.

But I'd be lying if I said it didn't hurt.

And then, just when I thought the silence was the worst part, my account got suspended.

No explanation that made much sense to me. No obvious mistake I could point to and say, "Ah, that's what I did wrong." Just an automated flag and then days of waiting, wondering if a year's worth of work had disappeared because of something I didn't even understand.

Thankfully, the appeal worked. A few days later, my account was back.

Technically, everything was fine.

Except it wasn't.

Something about that experience stayed with me.

After that, every time I published something I genuinely believed in, I couldn't shake the feeling that nobody was seeing it. Maybe people call it shadowbanning. Maybe that's not even the right word. I honestly don't know.

I just know what it felt like.

It felt strangely similar to being suspended all over again.

Only quieter.

By then, I'd already spent a hundred dollars on a subscription. More than that, I'd spent a year showing up. A year of mornings before work, late nights, second drafts, deleted drafts, staring at titles too long, changing commas nobody else would ever notice.

And for what?

A handful of pieces I loved.

And almost nobody seeing them.

I started thinking about leaving.

Not in some dramatic, "I'm done forever" kind of way.

Just quietly.

The way people think about leaving relationships that disappoint them. The way you start wondering whether maybe it's time to stop forcing something that doesn't seem to want you back.

I thought about starting over somewhere else. A fresh account. A clean slate. No suspension sitting in the background. I went back and forth for days.

Honestly, I still didn't know what I was going to do.

Then, two days ago, something happened that I wasn't expecting anymore.

I got my first Top Story.

I stared at the notification longer than I care to admit.

Then I read it again.

And then again.

Because after waiting that long, your brain doesn't immediately switch to happiness. It switches to disbelief.

"Really?"

That was my first thought.

Not excitement.

Not celebration.

Just...

"Really?"

And somewhere underneath all of that surprise, another thought slowly crept in.

Maybe some of my other work was good too.

Maybe it wasn't all wasted.

Maybe I wasn't crazy for believing in it.

Maybe I just needed one piece to finally make it through all the noise.

So thank you.

Seriously.

Thank you to everyone who read it. To the people who left comments. To the people who shared it. To the people who spent two minutes out of their day reading something I made.

You probably don't realize it, but after a year of feeling invisible, those little things mattered more than you know.

And thank you to this platform, too.

Because for a while there, I honestly thought the door had closed.

And there's one more thing I want to say.

Life's busy these days.

I'm trying to build something financially stable outside of writing, and if I'm being honest, that's where most of my hours go right now.

So when I show up here, it's usually in stolen moments.

A lunch break.

Ten quiet minutes before dinner.

Some random Friday night when I finally sit down and remember I still haven't picked an image for something I finished three days ago.

I know I haven't been replying to comments the way I used to.

And if you've noticed that, I'm sorry.

It isn't because I don't care.

I do.

I read everything.

Sometimes I smile at comments while sitting in a parking lot before work. Sometimes I read them quickly and promise myself I'll answer later, and later turns into tomorrow, and tomorrow turns into next week.

Life just gets full.

But I want you to know I'm still here.

Because despite everything—the silence, the doubts, the suspension, the nights I thought maybe I should just walk away—

I'm not leaving.

Not yet.

And maybe that's what I'm most grateful for.

Not the Top Story.

Not the badge.

Not even the milestone.

Just the fact that after a year of wondering whether I should quit, I still want to sit down and write the next thing.

And honestly?

That feels like a win too.

Thank you for sticking with me through a year that almost convinced me to disappear.