Be Me, a Vocal+ Member

Wake up, brush teeth, look at the Vocal app.

Oh, a red dot!

Realize it’s only creators I’ve subscribed to posting new stories. Swallow equal parts disappointment that no one has engaged with my stories and impostor syndrome that I can’t seem to match these authors’ paces. Promise I’ll go read the new stories later.

Attempt to check my stats in the app.

Remember I can’t check my stats in the app. Open Safari on my phone to check the stats there from my “Frequently Visited Pages” menu.

Discover that my reads haven’t increased in four days. Ask myself why I have the iOS app again?

Realize that it’s been four days since I last posted and that post still hasn’t been picked up for Top Story. Quietly break the news to myself that that probably means this is one is a dud, too. Return to the iOS app to check notifications because somehow seeing the number of notifications in the browser version ruins the mystery.

Find I have no new notifications. No red dot for me. Swallow sadness.

Scroll the front page to see who has succeeded and what I can do to emulate their success.

Find one Top Story that is an unabashed love letter to Vocal and another Top Story that is a fiction piece from… two years ago??

Wonder how the fuck that happened.

Attempt to talk myself down from reading way too far into this and deciding my entire catalog of stories is now apparently still in the running for Top Story.

Fail miserably. I am now waiting to hit the Vocal Mega Millions jackpot.

Still waiting.

Realize I still haven’t read those new stories. Swear I’ll get to it once I check for any new challenges.

Oh, another haiku challenge!

After penning 40th haiku addressing challenge prompt about my favorite part of an Upper East Side dive bar on a Sunday afternoon between 4:00 and 5:00 when there’s moderately chilly weather, break for lunch.

Return from lunch, check stats.

Realize it hasn’t been 24 hours and that my reads won’t have changed. Chide myself for being impatient.

Get to work on sharing the haikus. Top Story, here I come!

After publishing each of the 40 haikus, realize I still have the stats page open from before. I already know nothing’s changed… but might as well refresh while I’m here.

Realize something has changed: my subscriber count has gone down. Wonder how that happened.

Observe that notifications have been quiet, too. Decide everyone must be busy right now. They’ll read my hot batch of haikus later.

Check the latest top stories. Read piece from someone claiming their streak of Top Story selections means they are now the best writer on the platform. Wonder if Vocal making that piece a Top Story then verifies that claim.

Read another Top Story where the writer continues to claim there is a conspiracy that means they will never win a challenge. Wonder why they are saying that in what is clearly a challenge entry.

Remember that today is a challenge results day! Bop over to the challenge page to check if I’ve won. Discover nothing has been announced.

Realize it’s only 2:30 p.m. ET. Chide myself for being impatient.

Continue to refresh the page. Realize it is now 7:30 p.m. Recall I still have not read those new stories.

Decide there will be time for that later; challenge results just released! Come on, big money!

Another wash. Swallow sadness. Wonder if maybe that conspiracy theory isn’t so baseless after all…

Vow to only work harder for the next challenge win. Pen another 40 haikus about favorite part of an Upper East Side dive bar on a Sunday afternoon between 4:00 and 5:00 when there’s moderately chilly weather.

Keep the momentum rolling and release all 40 haikus into the Vocal ether.

Realize my subscriber count has dropped again. Decide that is one strange coincidence indeed.

Remember I still have not read those new stories.

Decide that’s what tomorrow is for. Start to drift off to sleep with dreams of Top Story dancing through my head.

Continue to place faith in idea that my big Vocal break is only one day away.

Recall that I’ve been saying that since 2021 as the veil slides over my vision.

Wake up, brush teeth, look at the Vocal app.

Oh, a red dot!

Realize it’s more new stories. What were those other stories I meant to read?

Give up on remembering. Oh, well, everyone’s human. Scroll through new Top Stories.