Battling Imposter Syndrome (and the Perth Heat)

To say I had imposter syndrome the week leading up to my first, and maybe only, radio interview would be an understatement.

I kept thinking: what if they ask me a question, and I can’t answer it? Everyone will realise I’m not a real author, just a stay-at-home mum who accidentally wrote a book.

I knew they were going to ask me about the current book I was reading. I’m reading two books at the moment: a trashy thriller, and a more ‘sophisticated’ one for my book club that I’m not really enjoying. I was stressing myself out attempting to come up with something intelligent to say about the book club book.

Then I remembered. I’m here to talk about my book of short thriller stories. Just be myself and talk about the trashy thriller I’m reading.

The radio station, 107.3 Heritage FM, was a 45-minute drive from my house, so I decided to take the train. The rising petrol prices have been giving me anxiety lately. The trains are free in Perth on Sundays. Plus, I find driving to new places can sometimes be stressful. I wanted to arrive as relaxed as possible. I could also enjoy some reading time on the train to catch up on my thriller, The Surrogate Mother by Freida McFadden.

Of course, the day was stinking hot, and by the time I got to the train station, I was covered in sweat, and my hair was frizzy. Not to mention all my greys were showing because I just couldn’t be bothered to dye them before the big day.

That imposter syndrome started sneaking in again. A real author wouldn’t be traipsing around in the heat, without makeup and with messy hair, catching the train to an interview, would they?

As I sat on the train reading my book, my fingers began absentmindedly playing with a hole I’d found in my dress.

And there it was again, a real author wouldn’t show up to an interview in a dress with a hole in it.

I finally arrived at Gosnells Station and began my walk to the radio station. My stroll took me through the Civic Centre Gardens, which was such a pretty spot and great for calming jangled nerves. I was a little early, so I stopped there for a few deep breaths before continuing my journey.

Then I saw the sign for the radio station. It was a cosy little house off the road. I started my walk up the dirt driveway, and by now it was sweltering. As I approached the house, one of the hosts, Valerie, stepped outside to get something from her car, saving me the awkward moment of wondering whether to knock on the door of what looked like a house, but was actually a radio station.

I was greeted with a smile and an icy-cold soft drink, and instantly, my nerves melted away. We had time for a quick tour of the station, and they confirmed that it used to be someone’s house. I met the other guest for the day, Gosnells Writers Circle member Linda, and she was warm and welcoming as well.

Before I knew it, it was 2 p.m. and time to start. We had a song queued up, which gave us time to take our seats and get set up. I was given a set of headphones and was shown which microphone to use.

The song was over. It was time to start, and my heart was pounding. I was allowed to bring a bottle of water into the room, but I had decided to leave it in the fridge to keep it cold. At that moment, my mouth was so dry, I was seriously regretting my decision.

The other host, Michael, introduced me and asked me a question about how I discovered my love for writing, and the words just started flowing.

There were no trick questions. Nothing I couldn’t answer. Because I’m a real author, and can talk about my writing and my book.

Throughout the two-hour show, people were given the opportunity to send messages in, and I received messages of support from several family members, cheering me on.

We were so busy chatting the whole time that I barely noticed when it was nearly time for the show to wrap up.

Valerie was kind enough to offer me a lift back to the train station, and I got back on the train feeling much lighter than before, and very excited.

I had so much fun and would love to do it again someday.

I’m going to finish up with some final words:

Go away, imposter syndrome. I have just as much right to be here as anyone else.