About loneliness

I am alone as no one on the earth – not even the desert is as deserted as I am. At least it has the company of cactuses of many kinds. It has camels. And caravans also. It has seasons. It exists in time and space – days and nights. Yes rains too. It shows its bitterness. It shows its bitterness. But I have no emotions left in me. My brain is lost. Do tell this to Darwin – The Charles Darwin! And do not talk to me of evolution. Consider me a fossil. Bad news does not hurt me. The good news does not make me happy. I am frozen, so please do not call me; just recall Ice Ages or The Great Floods. I do not care, after all these explanations you call me and hope that I would respond to you – Not AT All. Have you ever gathered the silence of ruins? Not? That is me. Everything makes me blue; not even blue; I am colorless.

Maybe you are the same and claim to be my friend. But I have gone beyond relations – beyond everything once I belonged to. Therefore, do not search in me the same self. I am gone, my friend! - And gone too far. This is the new about me and this is the news.

I am in a distant forest which is barren like my home I left. All trees there are leafless and fruitless. The mountains are gone white. The nights are starless. The sea is infinite like nothingness. I am not yet scared. Yes, I was yesterday but not today! Isolation…! I am accustomed to isolation. What I see, what I feel, what I think. It all makes me more alone, the more ONLY.

The moon is shining but what purpose it serves while shining? Would it shade away all the darkness – NO! Darkness is eternal. It is floating on the waves and the waves are noisy. Would they cause the soul to awake that has slept on the shore of meaninglessness – the absolute Absurdity? That shore-end is the end of the world. The shore is a quietness forever; where there is no sunrise and no sunset.

Please go to the garden! See flower is pretty in the mud. It is in its bloom and blossoming. There are many things to be an Epicureanist. Have pleasure, have fun, have the meaning of life and living. Have family, have a nation, have a country, have islands, and have the planet. I am not part of the planet, islands, country, nation and family. May I be pardoned by John Donne.

Aristotle! Man is not a Social Animal; He is a total isolation together with Woman. My vision is always blurred when I hear of companionship. See graves! They are side by side. There is a companionship among them. I would really have believed if you had said something in the praise of graves. I am sure that there is nothing true in the world as are the inscriptions on the death stones. But not, inscriptions as they may be an exaggeration but The Death and Stones Yes! Epitaphs are unreal writings about Real Death. Aristotle! You made a mistake while mixing animals with humans. Certainly, you had to say something else!

I have become east, west, north, and south – Up and down. And all directions are empty. It is the worst kind of loneliness, not worst but unique…! Nature is lonely too, but I am a stranger to her as well. I am odd and additional and of no use and of no abuse and of no praise. Adorations to thee my friend! It is a bad night, so I cannot say you GOOD NIGHT.