A Letter to my Secret Admirer

Dear Egbon,

Can I call you Egbon? Because I call everyone 'my love’ and I need you to stand out.

I feel your stares when I climb the bridge, when I fight for keke on my way to work, and when I walk far from the bus stop so I can pay 100 for keke.

Are you tall? Are you slim and dark? Or slim and fair? How do you dress? Is your lip dark or pink?

Does this make you think I am superficial?

Why have you not reached out to me? Do I look like a monster? Funny because you still stare at me; maybe you have a thing for monsters.

Do I walk too fast? Am I always frowning? Or do you not like how I dress? Am I always with people? Do you not like my bags? Or is it the wigs? They do not make me look princessly enough, right? I know.

Do you feel the heat too? Everyone in Lagos is complaining. I hope you feel the heat worse than everyone else. Are you surprised? I am not bothered by the fact that you have not come to meet me. I am bothered about how I have had to lie to everyone else that I am not bothered by the fact that I did not get a Valentine’s gift when a part of me secretly wished you sent a Lexus with a huge ribbon in front and small ones on the car door handles, and maybe balloons on the handle of the driver’s seat. Perhaps with a card that makes your anonymity more glaring and makes all my friends screenshot it when I streak it to them like I do theirs.

Are you worried about my taste? I don’t like big things.

I actually do, but some people think I am too delulu, so I am trying to beat it down.

How was Valentine’s Day for you? I hope, like me, you have a gift that is now sitting in the room of your imagination.

Do you like big things as well? Because I do.

Do you want me to reduce my pace on my way to work so you don’t have to run after me while trying to say hello to me? The thing is, sometimes I’m late for work, so I might not be able to help with the pace.

Is my new hairdo a problem? Or you don’t like black? Don’t worry, I love colors too.

I plan to wear this pink top. I love a lot and a brown skirt to work tomorrow. Trust me when I say you’ll like the top too.

I forgot to ask: Did you go to church today?

Today in church, they talked about the persistent widow and why we should be persistent in everything we do, not just our prayers.

Are you still in university? Or are you working? What do you do? I doubt you know, but I am a student, I also write, and I play the violin as well, even if that has stressed me more than anything in my life. Wait! Do you already know this? If you do, I think I am in love with you too. It is just like in the movies where someone you barely know is telling you about your life’s history, and they know because they are in love with you and have stalked you for a while.

I know everyone else would think it makes you a stalker, but I love it.

Is your name Dele, Emmanuel, or Ikenna, and your friends call you Ik? Or is your name Habeeb or Faruk?

Do you sleep a lot? Do you write love letters? Do you think you have a secret admirer too? What would you like to say to her? You can tell me; I promise she won’t hear. Sorry, I meant she would hear. 

I don’t know if you like to read a lot, so I will end this here. Send me a sign when you see this.

The one you secretly admire,

Ayo (sorry, I forgot to introduce myself).

Day 62/100

#the100writingmarathon