How Do You Drive?

Let's be honest here. Have you driven around without a license? Yes, that includes a spin around the parking lot. Chances are, whoever took you for the first time grabbed the handle on the ceiling and several prayers were said to God about your safety during the first time you put your foot on the gas pedal. If you haven't driven before, don't be scared. It depends on your location and your preparedness before you sit behind the wheel.

The first thing that comes in the process is passing the written driver's test. What is the legal drinking limit for a person over twenty-one? What does the yellow sign with a deer on it mean? What is the speed limit in an active school zone? Congratulations! You've passed the written test. Time to get behind the wheel, but you should know a few rules that I follow each time I start the car.

Rule one: Adjust mirrors and seats to your liking. If at any point during your drive you need to change how your mirror is angled, stop the car. Don't do it mid-drive.

Rule two: If you see a spider on the windshield, don't try to look and see if it's on the outside or the inside of the car. This will result in you drifting to the other lane and the lady driving her van will honk at you. The only thing you're going to see is that the spider was yellow.

Rule three: Your car is going to move faster downhill than you think. If the speed limit is thirty-five and going down a hill has caused you to pick up speed, no need to hit the break. Pray that there is enough of a hill that you can go up in order to lose that speed before a cop sees you.

IMPORTANT: If you do see a cop, don't flash your gaze between them and the road. You will start to drift to the middle and they will think that you're drunk. Only do this if you know what your registration looks like, and before you ask, no you can't hand the cop the book your dad says to keep all of the important information in, in the event you do get pulled over.

Rule four: Take roads you are comfortable and familiar with until you gain some confidence. This can give you a base set of rules to follow in different places.

When making a left turn on green, make sure you yield to the people going straight. Even if those people look like they're not going to move. Even if you think that they are going to be nice and let you go, don't fall for the trick. Let them go.

Rule five: At blind curves, slowly inch up until you're able to see. If you're at an intersection where you're still having trouble, you can wait a few extra seconds to make sure the coast is clear before driving. Taking your time to ensure your safety and the safety of others is very important when driving. Take all the time in the world that you need, even if a giant lifted truck who thinks they can see better than you can flashes their high beams at you because they want to make sure that you know you can go, even though you know for a fact that they can't see any better than you can because you're in front of them.

At that point, leave the intersection and slow down until the truck is on your tail. Drive at the speed limit and revel in how you know it's making them mad. Once you get enough joy from your pettiness, return at your desired legal speed.

Rule six: Don't cut people off. Sure, it does happen on accident sometimes, but if you do it intentionally because you think you're going to get to your destination faster, that makes you a douchebag.

Rule seven: Use your turn signals every time. If you're passing people and switching lanes, use your turn signals. If you turn into a parking lot, use your turn signal. If you simply make a turn, use your signal. The annoying little clicking noise may get on your nerves for the two seconds it's on, but I promise you that it's going to save you and your car when a person anticipates you going straight, but you make the sharpest left turn on this side of the Mississippi.

Rule eight: The rightmost side of a highway is the slow lane. You should keep up with the flow of traffic. The passing lane will be on the left. If you are in the passing lane and people in the slow lane are actually doing the passing, you're doing something wrong and you need to switch lanes or go faster. If you're worried about your speed, remember that the police officers are going to worry about the people going faster than you.

Rule nine: Let pedestrians cross. Not only is it the law, but you don't like being the person standing on the sidewalk, waiting for a good soul to stop and let you cross. It's awkward to be in that situation, so help a friend out and stop.

Rule ten: In a parking lot, park in between the lines. If you ever feel like you can't make it into a space, you can back out and realign yourself. Or you could go to the very back of the parking lot where there are no cars so you can give yourself plenty of room without the dangers of hitting other things. A bonus to this method is that there will always be pull-through spots in the back of the lot. If you park your car straddling a line, someone can put a coloring book and crayons under your windshield wiper to try and help get their point across.

In conclusion, driving can be intimidating. Following all of the rules of the road for your state and watching out for common mistakes, such as not using turn signals can be a beginner's downfall. Being safe and smart is the only way a new driver can succeed.

In all seriousness, driving is a dangerous activity and one should be one hundred percent confident in what they are doing before they get behind the wheel for the first time. Never antagonize another driver and never drive agressively. Be careful on the road.